"The Kiss of Death Mistake"

You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?

Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.

One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.

Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.

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Respect or worse

gettinit

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Sep 6, 2017
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Hey guys,

I have been dating a girl for 2 years. Both being busy we planned on a two day get way around labor day since we don't seem to have the time to get away very often. I picked the place and she offered to arrange the room for us at a resort. So, about three weeks before, she floats the idea of just one day. I said no, try for two. She also asked what time of week was better for me. I replied that later would be better, but didn't make it the only option.. A week later, I asked if things were in place. She said no but would take care of it.. No questions. The week prior to labor day, I ask again via text.
Me: Whats up for next week?
Her: It needs to be discussed
Me: That doesn't sound good. We won't see each other until the end of the week so discuss.
Her: Its not bad, I just don't have time to type it all out right now (she was at work so OK)

No discussion came, but she asked me over on Wednesday. After some partying and intimacy, we were kicking back and I again asked. She replied that there were other people at work who had vacation and she couldn't go. I was a bit buzzed and don't like to react to anything in that condition. I also wasn't thinking clearly, so I let it slide. Work is work.. That Saturday, she texted me:

Her: did you head down?
Me: Nope I got delayed, leaving tomorrow
Her: got it.
Me: Did you find anything to do for the rest of the weekend?
Her: I'm still waiting on my plans (with a smiley face)
Me: Ok...?

We normally text every other day, a three day gap is rare. Her next reply was four days later (back at work then or a day earlier, I don't know) that she was sad about not being able to see me, but she should have said hello... Sorry.

I replied a while later: Got it. I'm beat and going to bed. Good Night.

In my head:
Was she trying to split time between me and someone else? That one gives me that queasy feeling.
She obviously had time to make plans for the weekend (and a possible extra day) and never asked if those days were open as an option.
She is a detail oriented planner. Totally out of character and setting things up and being the person who decides who goes on vacation when, time off was never a problem before.
Why go MIA?

To me, it smells and I feel disrespected. I'm not sure how to approach this one...Shut off contact, walk or talk?
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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