narcissist
Master Don Juan
How do you manage a reputation for womanizing? Is it a bad thing? How to use it to your advantage?
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Reputation for womanizing. How do you manage it?
- Thread starter narcissist
- Start date
"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
RichardTheFrog
Banned
Just be like hey you know what I'm saying it's whatever bada bing bada boom
ChangePages
Don Juan
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Play it off. You're just a man who hasn't had any luck with women and dating. They'll eat that **** up.
"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
wifehunter
Master Don Juan
BeExcellent
Master Don Juan
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You neither confirm nor deny. You simply let rumors swirl and don't worry about it. If asked about it directly you deflect. You say "Oh that's a bunch of silliness" and lead by changing the subject.
Truth is it helps you by increasing your social value because tongues are wagging, and it also pre-screens for you to a degree. Girls who are put off by it don't have the self esteem & value to match yours (in their perception), so they disqualify themselves. Girls who believe they have value & self esteem will not be put off by a "player" vibe, in fact you'll appeal to them that much more.
At all times behave professionally in the workplace. That should be obvious.
Truth is it helps you by increasing your social value because tongues are wagging, and it also pre-screens for you to a degree. Girls who are put off by it don't have the self esteem & value to match yours (in their perception), so they disqualify themselves. Girls who believe they have value & self esteem will not be put off by a "player" vibe, in fact you'll appeal to them that much more.
At all times behave professionally in the workplace. That should be obvious.
Masculinity
Master Don Juan
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It can be bad or good, depending on the women around you. Some broads who are done with the c0ck carousel will next you for being a ladies man and those looking to date and party will be attracted to you. I've had some women warm up to me quickly because they saw me as skilled with women. I've also had other women c0ck block me and pull their friends again from me to "Dave them from the player."
When people call me a ladies man, I somewhat embrace it and reframe it as "and I'm a bit selective of who I see, nothing too crazy"
devilkingx2
Master Don Juan
you use it to your advantage, imply that it's true but don't outright state anything, just play it cool so that you can get high fives from your bros and swooning from the women
TheMonkeyKing
Master Don Juan
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Think it depends a bit on age. Younger women will be more open minded than older. But not always.
Lately, I've been being pretty open and honest about my outlook. I've been openly telling girls I'm with or anyone else who asks that I am a lover of all women and I see more than one at a time, at the moment. I am yet to have anyone disapprove, and the girls still pay as much attention as ever.
Thing is, anyone who disapproves is either jealous or bitter. Just ignore them; so long as you aren't making any promises, you're not doing anything wrong by anyone. Haters gonna hate. For every negative reaction, you'll have two neutral or positive. Discretion can be you friend in social settings and the work place, as has been said.
Lately, I've been being pretty open and honest about my outlook. I've been openly telling girls I'm with or anyone else who asks that I am a lover of all women and I see more than one at a time, at the moment. I am yet to have anyone disapprove, and the girls still pay as much attention as ever.
Thing is, anyone who disapproves is either jealous or bitter. Just ignore them; so long as you aren't making any promises, you're not doing anything wrong by anyone. Haters gonna hate. For every negative reaction, you'll have two neutral or positive. Discretion can be you friend in social settings and the work place, as has been said.
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
I wouldn't say that's entirely accurate, because I knew of women that tried to sabatoge a guy's New Years Party by spreading gossip around about him being a player. Apparently, his issue was he was having a hard time committing to a woman he had been dating for a while. I'm assuming she wanted marriage, but he did not.
Her gal pals were trying to get even with him by scheduling a party at another location by poaching his friends to their venue. lol
He actually had to lay low for a while before resurfacing. He was a cool dude, not an ******* or anything, but I think women were butt hurt that they THOUGHT he treated THEIR friend ****ty. By "****ty" meaning, uncommital. I think she paid for both their cruise trips or something
and they were like "Well, he's not committing to you, so why are you paying his way??"
What's sad is, he was in a monogamous relationship, but...he was considered a player regardless...due to his inability to commit fully to her.
If word gets around, you may even be ostracized in this fashion. But it all depends on who is willing to believe both sides?
I remember being called "a player" in a teasing fashion by a woman when I think I mentioned dating 2 women or something. I was thinking, "Who me?! lol"
Masculinity
Master Don Juan
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How did you respond to it?
RangerMIke
Master Don Juan
Having a reputation helps you with women. But you have to draw a line between your professional life and personal. Never date chicks you are working with EVER.
The other thing you MUST do is NEVER... EVER talk to anyone about what you do with women. It's okay to come on here anonymously and talk about this, but do not do this in your life. Even people you might otherwise trust... just keep your fvcking mouth shut. Never talk about what you do with women... period. If it ever gets out that you can't keep private sh!t private, you are done. Trust me... you don't have to, women will talk about you and what they do with you and it will get around. But if you are ever asked.... and believe me you will be asked... all you have to say is that you don't kiss and tell.
The chicks network will peg you as a @ss that can not be trusted, and you will get black-balled... which will 'blue'-ball you.
The other thing you MUST do is NEVER... EVER talk to anyone about what you do with women. It's okay to come on here anonymously and talk about this, but do not do this in your life. Even people you might otherwise trust... just keep your fvcking mouth shut. Never talk about what you do with women... period. If it ever gets out that you can't keep private sh!t private, you are done. Trust me... you don't have to, women will talk about you and what they do with you and it will get around. But if you are ever asked.... and believe me you will be asked... all you have to say is that you don't kiss and tell.
The chicks network will peg you as a @ss that can not be trusted, and you will get black-balled... which will 'blue'-ball you.
martinman980
Don Juan
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When they ask you about other women, just say that you don't like talking about that stuff, and also corect them/deflect the conversation when they start talking about other guys/past boyfriends , i would guess you don't care about that stuff. Just keep the things you say and do with her between the two of you, an usually this would be enough as to not be labeled as a womanizer , in front of your women, even if it may happen sometimes while you **** one.... to get the phone ringing or a recive text message.
It's more in your attitude than anything else, like when you are with a woman treat her as she is the only woman you have (more or less), even if this is not the case. You should be reframing this like: It's more of a case of other women wanting me, than I want them
.
They will know when you are dating other women for the most part, but they don't want to be told this outright. Just down play your interest in other women.
Also do what RangerMIke said
It's more in your attitude than anything else, like when you are with a woman treat her as she is the only woman you have (more or less), even if this is not the case. You should be reframing this like: It's more of a case of other women wanting me, than I want them
.They will know when you are dating other women for the most part, but they don't want to be told this outright. Just down play your interest in other women.
Also do what RangerMIke said
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
logicallefty
Moderator
I have a terrible rep for being a womanizer in all facets of my life. I know for fact that I have slept with more women than my 3 x closest male friends all combined, and I don't consider my number to be all that high really. This is the position I normally take on the issue. I might say "Well shoot I'd love the one wife and white picket fence with 3 x kids scenerio as much as anyone else, but if you haven't noticed, that's not exactly how things are done anymore and I'm just rolling with the times".