Reporting back from behind enemy lines...

[slaog]

hi everyone, new to the board here...

VU, or if anyone else can answer this question...

It has been my experience that MOST women that I have encountered who "played" hard to get, ULTIMATELY turned out to instead be-----HARD TO "WANT".

anyone care to explain HARD TO WANT? for me?

sorry im new and just started to read this thread

pretty interesting stuff here

It basically means what it says, the man will find the woman attractive at the start but he'll get turned off by her behaviour eventually.

 

[New2Town]

In my brief experience with online stuff, most of these girls are looking for long term relationships rather than casual sex. They buy into the advertising about finding their "soulmate" and all that crap. Some guys probably join for that reason too, but others are just there to expand their dating horizons to include more women.

How old is this girl's profile? You can just assume she's already gone out with other men on the site and had sex with them, only to end up with nothing else to show for it. She is making you wait for intimacy as a defense mechanism to try and weed out the guys that just want to bang her from the guys who are into her for more than that. The problem here is that women underestimate some men's patience and ability to wait. I don't think this will be very effective in keeping her from getting hurt, but it will reduce the number of men she has sex with overall, so she'll feel less like a slut.

Summary: If you think it's worth waiting for, you'll lay this girl eventually, soon even.

Her profile is not too old. She was "new" when I first e-mailed her and that was probably a month and a half ago. I don't know how many dates she's been on from the site, but I doubt many.

I have a feeling that is what she's doing, weeding out through waiting. She keeps dropping little hints like "I love kissing" and "I get lockjaw while giving blow jobs," but when the time comes, she doesn't progress, even if I am escalating.

She's probably really testing me. I have other options, so it's not like it's her or my hand. I am going to give her one or two more dates. If nothing after that, well, she weeded me out, because I feel sex is an important part of a healthy relationship.

 

[New2Town]

I proposed we go out to dinner and dancing tonight when I last texted her. She said she would get back to when she knew what her and her friend were doing. I am usually pretty good with dancing and escalating and she mentioned when we went on our first date that she enjoyed going to this one club. If she doesn't respond, well, I'll go out in town tonight and try to meet new women. I'm not on her schedule, I'm on mine. If we do get together tonight, I plan on just relaxing and letting her come to me.

In your experiences, what's the best way to let a woman know you feel sex is an important part of a relationship? I mean I could tell her, but it's easier to "show, not tell." Or, I could just let it ride out.

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

I am definitely not looking for a relationship with this woman, rather, I just want to pound the personality out of her.

In your experiences, what's the best way to let a woman know you feel sex is an important part of a relationship? I mean I could tell her, but it's easier to "show, not tell." Or, I could just let it ride out.

Care to explain?

So, let me get this right then, you expect that the sexual payoff from a girl with as many demonstrable hang ups as she's proven for you to be so fantastic that it makes all this horesh!t worth it?

I understand you're hitting it with other plates now, but this is the one you started a thread about here.

 

[New2Town]

Care to explain?

So, let me get this right then, you expect that the sexual payoff from a girl with as many demonstrable hang ups as she's proven for you to be so fantastic that it makes all this horesh!t worth it?

I understand you're hitting it with other plates now, but this is the one you started a thread about here.

Sure, I don't mind explaining.

A relationship, to me, is defined several ways. You can either be in a friendship, a romantic relationship, a platonic relationship or a mutual relationship. Right now, I am not wanting to invest myself in a romantic relationship with her (ie; constant dating, talking on the phone, etc), rather a mutual relationship with an understanding of sex (fvck buddies).

The hardest part about maybe "nexting" this chick is that I am driven by success in everything I do. It didn't start well off the bat, but I want to try to salvage at least a lay out of it.

Everything that she's doing isn't great and I have called her on it. I have told her she probably scares a bunch of guys away with her personality. She said she does.

But, like I said, I am driven by success and success to me, in this situation at least, is a lay. Until it's unattainable, I shall continue pushing — or at least until she turns me beyond belief, which is close.

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

Right now, I am not wanting to invest myself in a romantic relationship with her (ie; constant dating, talking on the phone, etc), rather a mutual relationship with an understanding of sex (fvck buddies).

And what has she shown you over the course of this nonsense that would make you think that she could possibly fit this role?

Everything that she's doing isn't great and I have called her on it.

Again, what makes you think that hitting it with her would make any of this worth it? If you have more plates you are getting with who're into ƒucking you, why bother?

But, like I said, I am driven by success and success to me, in this situation at least, is a lay. Until it's unattainable, I shall continue pushing — or at least until she turns me beyond belief, which is close.

Nonsense. This is what I expect from guys with no options - turn your necessity into a virtue. If you had better options you'd never have started this thread.

 

[New2Town]

And what has she shown you over the course of this nonsense that would make you think that she could possibly fit this role?

She's attractive and I wouldn't need to spend too much time with her, but get what I want. Once I finally bed her, I won't focus on trying to get her into bed, rather, try to arrange meetings since she'll be calling me non-stop.


Again, what makes you think that hitting it with her would make any of this worth it? If you have more plates you are getting with who're into ƒucking you, why bother?

I see it as a failure if I don't fvck this girl. I set myself up for success and I have goals. I try not to fail in attaining my goals.


Nonsense. This is what I expect from guys with no options - turn your necessity into a virtue. If you had better options you'd never have started this thread.

I have better options, but I want to expand my circle. I don't have a necessity to get laid. If I did, I would have raped her by now, but well, I haven't. I have a successful career among other things and I am trying to become a better man.

Starting this thread also helps me if I have to deal with any of the same women in the future. I'll know how to respond.

Answers in bold.

 

[New2Town]

OK, let's not over think this whole thing. You've been on 3 dates and you two are battling to control the frame. This isn't just common, it is the whole point of dating; to see if the other person is able to maintain the same level of frame as yourself. This is how people stratisfy themselves into dating circles. Your ability to hold frame is a demonstration of your congruency, or "inner-game." Develop this part of yourself quickly by researching and applying the methods. If you take it seriously, you'll soon be at the level of never breaking frame in any situation; and when you get to that level, you'll never have to ask another question here; you'll be too busy picking and choosing who gets to service you on any given night.

I've been on four dates with her and yes, we are battling for control of the frame. I usually have a pretty strong frame and I was never challenged by a woman. This is why I am trying to learn to strengthen my frame and learn how to deal with these women.

 

[MacAvoy]

Your doing this because you lack other options, your coming from a place of scarcity rather than abundance, its also why she's rebuffing you.

You will fail. Mark my words.

 

[In2theGame]

You will fail. Mark my words.

LoL thats messed up Mac, dont be so harsh lol. Seriously though, i think New2town needs to be more aggressive with this girl and let her know the deal.

 

[MacAvoy]

If you knew my posting history, I'm rarely blunt, for the most part I try to help people but sometimes I have to speak the truth because its the only way to get through. I'm also a great judge and read alot more into the details than most people.

His trying to represent that his just doing this for the challenge, if you knew my history from when I use to post here alot, you'd know I'm all about challenges, look at my sig. I guarantee that his talk of doing this just for the challenge is just his rationalization so that he can continue his failing ways.

ps I love your sig, I've quoted it many times on SS.

 

[New2Town]

MacAvoy, I have already failed, in my eyes, in not laying this chick already. I have already failed in not developing rapport enough with her BEFORE the first meeting. I have already failed in making it feel "too awkward" during certain situations (her words).

Yet, I have succeeded in learning how to handle a strong personalitied woman. I have succeeded in going on several dates, learning what I don't want out of a LTR partner. I have succeeded in helping her understand the follies of her ways and while I can't change her, I can bring them to her attention.

I am NOT doing this because I lack options. While right now, my options may be more scarce than before (I had four women in a week in April/May, compared to maybe now), I have no reason to start panicking.

If it doesn't happen soon (which you say it won't), then I will release her back to whatever miserable dating experiences led her to her shelled view of the world and men. All I know, is that she would be missing out on a great man.

That's all.

 

[New2Town]

In case anyone was wondering the status of this "saga," I contacted her a few days ago and said simply: "Hey, I just wanted to let you know I am looking for more than just a partner to have a conversation with. I prefer a physical relationship, because I already have enough female friends."

So, been there, now done with that.