Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
Common sense isn't that common anymore.iambrian81 said:Not everyone has common sense
Ok, you are right, maybe I have a problem with these dates thing. But I treat it like a lawyer would. I'm a lawyer at heart. Lawyers when talking to a judge ALWAYS, ALWAYS, ALWAYS talk about dates that facts occur. I see myself as a lawyer rather than having aspergers. My style is also technical - or looking for a technicality, loophole, or advancing an arguement like I were in a court-room. I love law, but since I'm not a lawyer, I may express this legal side in other venues, such as this one.StevenR said:For instance, when you write that some event happened on November 29, 2008
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
Luke Skywalker said:Therefore, I've just purchased an e-book about humor from Martin Merill last night for $ 58.00 cad and I've just skimmed it last night. Today I've decided that "inner game" needs to be sorted out with humor big time since it appears that I need a massive overhaul.
That's fine. Whatever goals that I have stated I am going to have with women will be accomplished. Having internal conflicts when you get to the pinnicle and backing out is an accomplishment from that vantage point because it just boils down to some internal drama and how that plays itself out -- because even I don't know the outcome of what I will do. I can pursue and make an opportunity happen, or there could be an open door, and if I do that, then I've done my job, it's left to what I choose to do with that when that time comes, whenever it happens again.HOT_CHILLI said:and btw if you aint out to get laid i think people are gonna stop caring about your threads and also stop listening to advice you have...
You sound more like a scientist in this last post than you do a lawyer, but whatever. What I think your major problem is even if you don't have Asbergers(and I am not so sure you don't)-you are a MOMMA'S BOY, and women despise momma's boys. In fact, you are not only a momma's boy, you are an UBER ULTRA MOMMA'S BOY.Luke Skywalker said:BUFFET # 1: Manderin Chinese Buffet
GIRL INVITED: My Gym Trainer.
RESULT OF BUFFET: Great food -- the hot and sexy gym trainer kept me in check by helping me eat the right foods. NOT !!! She said I could eat anything I want, but the catch is that I have to go to the gym an extra 30 minutes when I do go to work out the extra calories. I ate desert, etc....
THE REAL RESULTS: My Gym trainer (who is engaged, who is in good terms with my mom, and who is looking up to me as a man of God and has high moral expectations of me) has let me into some secrets about the gym.
1) The receptionist (a lovely mixed girl) and the general manager slept with each other and they both got fired. Which is why they are not there today.
2) The person in charge of the personal trainer fondles them and sexually harasses them. A yonge blond sexy barbie trainer left due to this harassment. Basically he will grope, fondle, and make lewd comments to some of the girls there. Despite making several sexual harassment charges, the management is good friends with this guy and will not do anything about it. Leaving the female trainers generally two options, let themselves continue to get groped, fondled and harassed or quit.
3) Another person, on the top floor slept with the hot Ukranian receptionist. My mom always thought she looked weak. Mom thinks they are idle people who are upstairs.
Taking people out to buffets are fun sometimes, because you can learn the secret juicy details of what goes around. You think it's a normal gym place, but if you see an exotic or sexy girl there who is a receptionist, or is a hot receptionist, someone that works there on the top floor is probably fvcking her. Going to do a bit of research on the (3) example as to who exactly that guy was. I'm speculating that sex with the receptionist must have occured with people in a position of power at the gym. Will test the hypothesis by doing further investigation.
In the mean-while -- two more buffets to go. (But may invite my cousin to one -- heck, make it four buffets this month instead of three).
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
You just called your mother a slvt.Luke Skywalker said:The thing is, even if she slept around just once or a few times, she's just a slvt even if she went with a 100 guys. I see no difference. A slvt is a slvt
I'm dealing with core subconcious and unconcious issues. It's not that I agree with that view I'm presenting here, but if there are undercurrents, they will raise their ugly head when my guard is down on myself and I'll have to yet once again put my foot in my mouth as I watch another girl crash and burn out of my life and nobody wins.CaptainJ said:Haha, so according to you, if a girl sleeps with someone, then they are a slut. What happens if they sleep with you then? They are a slut no? You become a slut too.
You're never gonna get laid with that view.
As usual, you have nothing constructive to contribute and are just trolling my threads.Alle_Gory said:You just called your mother a slvt.
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
so she says....Luke Skywalker said:My mom was a virgin until she married my dad and then lost it with him. My mom has never cheated on my dad, even once,
gee, I wonder why....Dad lied to my mom about being a virgin when he went with 30 women (most of them hors) before her and cheated a few times with hors during the marriage life
I wasn't the one defining what 'slvt' is. You better go apologize to your mom.Luke Skywalker said:As usual, you have nothing constructive to contribute and are just trolling my threads.
Tell your mother what you think a slvt is, and see how she responds.My mom was a virgin until she married my dad and then lost it with him.
We're not in biblical times anymore. Get it in your head that its the year 2009 and men and women can have sex without marriage.Generally, you do not see women waiting until marriage to lose their virginity and have sex and they are just basically behaving like hors. Anyway, part of me agrees to this in some level to accept that this is hetrosexual reality and if I want to get laid myself I have to get over any judgmental attitude and try not to express it to any potential prospects, but another part says this is a major stickling point that just adds another dimension to an internal conflict that will continue to help me self-sabatogue my chances of getting laid or finding a girlfriend that I want since there will always be a foundational element of disrespect as it's likely, like most women, she slept around.
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.