Renewed goals for this sector - aspiring DJ.

[Luke Skywalker]

The last sector I decided I wasn't really interested in this stuff and wanted to get some stuff sorted out. But, now here I am again, with a renewed commitment going to February 3, 2009.

- Right now I'm hitting the gym regularly and have purchased $ 1200 in 23 training sessions with a personal trainer who happens to be a sexy black woman. I was actually ashamed of asking for a woman trainer (since I felt like a perv to ask) and they set me up with a guy initially. This guy did a terrible job and after a session, I demanded a woman. They gave me a woman and she was hot. Building those muscles with some eye/arm candy.
(Would have been the same price if it was a guy - not an AFC move but an investment in health)

- I'm going to go on meetup.com and look for varous social groups out there. Obviously also including different church groups where possible. This will hopefully help expand my social circle. Ideally I would like some sort of social group where I could meet about once or twice a week. Going to meetup.com or other social groups represents a big step of getting out of my comfort zone and look forward to seeing what is out there.

- Internet dating may be tried again from December 1st, 2008, usually like using a Santa profile, but I've always sucked at internet dating and couldn't pull anyone I really like out, so I've sort of given up on it. I'd likely get the most impact about that time anyway. Talk about which, I've noticed there is this eharmony site and may also look at other christian sites.

I'm giving myself until February 3rd to meet all of the above goals - by then:

- All my gym sessions would be complete and I should really look different or hot. Maybe the trainer may get turned on by my new appearance at the end of the day (joking).

- Would have attended probably a few meet-up / church groups by this time and would be able to form an opinion of experience of them on which ones I click with, or why it didn't work out.

- Would have tried out eharmony. Getting tired of the Santa thing since it's been tried for the past two years. Since it produced some results may still try it anyway. Not very motivated to continue to try internet dating.


*******************

For a three month period of time, I think these are good goals to strike towards a DJ, and cant think of anything else to have a structured plan that will go week to week, but am open to suggestions.

 

[Luke Skywalker]

As a general rule, personal trainers are a waste of time and money. Does your trainer have you do squats and deadlifts? If not you just wasted $1,200. Good news is you can come to the Health & Fitness forum and learn everything you need to know for free.

Yes, squats and deadlifts are included. It's at a Wynn fitness centre.

 

[Desdinova]

But, now here I am again, with a renewed commitment going to February 3, 2009.

Here we go again. Another date set for another goal, and another year will go by before we see another thread with another goal for February 3, 2010.

 

[Luke Skywalker]

Here we go again. Another date set for another goal, and another year will go by before we see another thread with another goal for February 3, 2010.

That's very helpful - what a supportive board.

There is no doubt in my mind that the stated goals are going to be reached by the time that's on there.

I write this thread because these goals happened to jive with DJ principles:

1) Improvement of physical body to look more muscular and strong and fit.

2) Looking for and finding social networks, via meetup.com/ churches.

3) Limiting the internet as a vehicle of meeting new women to just eharmony, and minor stuff pof/lavalife.

So, I do not see what your beef is about. The key about making a goal is it has to be realistic, have a date or deadline set, and has to be written down. I think writing threads may add a bit of accountability to them so people can call me on it later if they are not reached.

 

[Alle_Gory]

But, now here I am again, with a renewed commitment going to February 3, 2009.

Yeah. Ok...
Forget about deadlines. Just focus on what you have to do.

- Right now I'm hitting the gym regularly and have purchased $ 1200 in 23 training sessions with a personal trainer who happens to be a sexy black woman. I was actually ashamed of asking for a woman trainer (since I felt like a perv to ask) and they set me up with a guy initially. This guy did a terrible job and after a session, I demanded a woman. They gave me a woman and she was hot. Building those muscles with some eye/arm candy.
(Would have been the same price if it was a guy - not an AFC move but an investment in health)

Uhhh... what? $52 per session. That's alot. But at least you're learning something useful.

Don't focus on how hot the trainer is. To you, she's not even a woman for the next 23 sessions. She is your trainer. If she's a good trainer, keep her around for that. Don't do anything to make it awkward or weird.

All my gym sessions would be complete and I should really look different or hot.

Different, yes. Hot, no. That takes time and effort. Not 23 sessions.
You should also be focusing on your diet.

For a three month period of time, I think these are good goals to strike towards a DJ, and cant think of anything else to have a structured plan that will go week to week, but am open to suggestions.

Structured plans that don't get finished mean jack ****.

Just make a to-do list everyday. Get some cue cards, and write down stuff you have to do for the day. Try to do something every day that will get you closer to your goal. Make it short, and complete everything.



A.G. out.

 

[Luke Skywalker]

Uhhh... what? $52 per session. That's alot. But at least you're learning something useful.

Actually it's $ 70.00 per session. I forgot to mention that other sessions were purchased, but my mom bought them for me because I didn't want to pay for a trainer. Initially I had 8 sessions, but she recommended I purchase allot more, and I followed through with her recommendation.

The standard price at Wyn is this much per hour. These are trainers who are qualified with a degree in what they are doing, and if you think I'm a succer, there are plenty of gym patrons who have trainers with them, whether they are guy trainers or girl trainers, the cost per session is the same, so it's all what you take out at the end of the day.

Don't focus on how hot the trainer is. To you, she's not even a woman for the next 23 sessions. She is your trainer. If she's a good trainer, keep her around for that. Don't do anything to make it awkward or weird.

She is a good trainer, no doubt about that and the chemistry is very good. I'm also motivated to go to the gym like never before since she is helpful in creating a purpose or natural drive to stay fit and healthy and go to the gym.
It is my purpose to ensure that I get where I want to go in my health goals and ensure that I'm not parting with money on candy -- so it's something I'd be fighting to make sure I'm getting my true money's worth.

I may be slightly distracted on the fact she's a sexy woman, but not enough for it to impair my work-out or do anything that would be creepy. That 'slight distraction' can not be avoided unless I get a male trainer because I'm overly sensitive to a woman being around and can't really help it since I'm not used to it. I'm going to assume that after a number of sessions I'll get used to being around a 'woman' and that would have less and less of an impact as the training sessions continue. Being desensitised by being around a woman should also be helpful.

Different, yes. Hot, no. That takes time and effort. Not 23 sessions.
You should also be focusing on your diet.

I am focusing on my diet as well. I lost allot of weight from last year.
I used to be 240 lbs, and I'm now hovering around 215 lbs. I patroned Herbal Magic last year and spent like $ 2000 in a dietitian consultant program that included herbals to help me lose weight.

 

[Alle_Gory]

Actually it's $ 70.00 per session. I forgot to mention that other sessions were purchased, but my mom bought them for me because I didn't want to pay for a trainer.

:kick:

That's too much. You better be getting your money's worth.

Want to know how much I pay for training sessions?

0.

That's right. Zero dollars. If I really need to know something I observe the big dude at the gym, and then ask questions. If it doesn't make sense, I ask the other big dude at the gym.

These are trainers who are qualified with a degree in what they are doing, and if you think I'm a succer, there are plenty of gym patrons who have trainers with them, whether they are guy trainers or girl trainers, the cost per session is the same, so it's all what you take out at the end of the day.

Just because you're in a room full of suckers, does not mean you have to be one.

She is a good trainer, no doubt about that and the chemistry is very good. I'm also motivated to go to the gym like never before since she is helpful in creating a purpose or natural drive to stay fit and healthy and go to the gym.

There is no chemistry. She is your $70/hour trainer. If you want to risk it, go ahead. But you will lose the great training, and possibly some cash.

Being desensitised by being around a woman should also be helpful.

Yeah. It is.

I used to be 240 lbs, and I'm now hovering around 215 lbs. I patroned Herbal Magic last year and spent like $ 2000 in a dietitian consultant program that included herbals to help me lose weight.

Weight, or fat? Huge difference.

Exercise is far more effective than chemicals or extracts.

I went from 205lbs in May of this year to 185lbs by the end of July. That's 3 months. I used green tea extracts, went on a mostly vegetarian diet with alot of fresh fruits and veggies, and ran 4x per week for at least 1 hour sessions. And weight sessions, but that didn't help with losing the fat. Weight sessions to make sure that I didn't lose too much muscle.

 

[Luke Skywalker]

:kick:

That's too much. You better be getting your money's worth.

Especially since I took it out of a credit card that I intended to wrack up a debt on before I sued them on a credit dispute (where they may close the account in which case I cant use the card anymore), but that's another story that's not relevant to here. I looted a card I intended to sue in order to pay for those sessions. But I guess that doesn't matter.

To assess whether or not I'm getting my money's worth: Let's see, I've been going to the gym since 2003 and have been seeing no improvement. The last personal trainer I had could not motivate me to go to the gym in an effective way.

Finally, I have this other female trainer that I don't know what is going on, but I suddenly find myself going to the gym, following through with the program 100%, and my motivation for getting into shape, getting fit and building muscle went from 10% of a backburner shelf goal, to something that is now top priority. I think I'm girl crazy or something.

Want to know how much I pay for training sessions?

0.

If you are self-motivated, then you do not need a trainer. For some reason, I do not view going to the gym as a priority and would not naturally go on my own. It's a bit sad, but it seems that I believe that making money or other things are more important than going to the gym. I believe that watching youtube clips or movies and being a slouch is more important than making the effort to going to the gym. I need motivational help. A woman trainer is the answer to that since each training session is like a date and I'm having a good-time and I'm following her 'homework' gym instructions as well since it's not difficult to follow. This is worth it's weight in gold.

What good is an extra $ 1200 if I"m going to remain a fat slob and get sick at the end of the day anyway and have no motivation to go. Once I get to the desired goals and see the benefits of an improved body, that in itself should motivate me to continue going to the gym on my own to maintain it. Looks like I just needed a female touch on this one for motivation or something.

Just because you're in a room full of suckers, does not mean you have to be one.

Wow, that's harsh.

There is no chemistry. She is your $70/hour trainer. If you want to risk it, go ahead. But you will lose the great training, and possibly some cash.

Actually, by chemistry, I mean client type chemistry. Just like guys can have chemistry with other guys, in a business sence. I don't mean romantic or dating or stuff like that -- I'm not stupid.

The first trainer was a guy and I had no chemistry with him, it wasn't synergistic and he didn't motivate me to go to the gym, whatever he did. This gal has a better impact and helps serve the purpose of overall better health.

I can pay $ 70.00 for a lousy trainer there if it's a bad match and the chemistry just isn't there. Or I can pay $ 70.00 for a personal trainer that makes the training session an enjoyable experience, makes me feel energized and great at the end of the session after having a great workout, and having that 'woman's touch'. At least I feel I'm getting my money's worth this time from my looted credit card.

 

[Lust]

As a general rule, personal trainers are a waste of time and money. Does your trainer have you do squats and deadlifts? If not you just wasted $1,200. Good news is you can come to the Health & Fitness forum and learn everything you need to know for free.

PTs aren't a waste of time. They do more than just teach, they motivate.

A lazy person is more likely to stick to the gym if they are forking $1200 for it.

And to Luke, don't go for your personal trainer. She may seem interested because she is paid to be like that. She is paid to make you feel like you're really important and all that, don't go for her.

 

[Luke Skywalker]

And to Luke, don't go for your personal trainer. She may seem interested because she is paid to be like that. She is paid to make you feel like you're really important and all that, don't go for her.

She did offer two free sessions after I made that purchase, but anyway, again, I'm a business person and in fact a salesperson who also understands the line between 'business' and 'personal', right through my psyche. In fact, i'm almost totally business most of the time. I see this as a great investment into my future health, inner game, etc... and feel it's a jackpot deal.

I'm usually not romantically infatuated with Black women anyway and tend to get infatuated more with Indians or a mix of Indian. I do not see myself as really being interested in her further than having eye/arm candy around to make the workout lighter and enjoyable. She freely touches me when doing stretches and that's all cool. You could potentially say that I'm interested in ALL women because I'm girl-hungry, but that doesn't mean I'm going to go after EVERYONE. Because I'm feeding off the trainer's feminine energy due to having a black hole caused by a deprivation of a woman's touch, doesn't mean I'm interested myself. I just seem to be feeding off that energy - which is good, because like water falling can create electricity (hydroelectricity), my theory is this energy can be funneled to help create a drive/motivation to stay in the gym and exercise.
This is what is happening here.

Obviously, I'm taking this for what it is worth to me, a woman's touch which is helpful at providing adequate motivation for a necessary and functional health program.

I have access to a fleshlight and some occasional porn, so I can construct my own fantasies and make them quite realistic if I want to, so I also use that for what it's worth to -- to avoid situations just like that from happening.

 

[Alle_Gory]

I have access to a fleshlight and some occasional porn, so I can construct my own fantasies and make them quite realistic if I want to, so I also use that for what it's worth to -- to avoid situations just like that from happening.

Even if you have one, you don't say that.

I think your interactions with people are based on the **** you say. You need to have a filter between your brain and your mouth. Some things you just don't verbalize. Not everything can be, or should be discussed.

Keep this confidential.

BTW. Lose the fleshlight. And the porn. Hasn't gotten you anywhere so far, and its not going to work now.

If you are self-motivated, then you do not need a trainer. For some reason, I do not view going to the gym as a priority and would not naturally go on my own. It's a bit sad, but it seems that I believe that making money or other things are more important than going to the gym. I believe that watching youtube clips or movies and being a slouch is more important than making the effort to going to the gym. I need motivational help.]/QUOTE]

I've made due without a trainer. It works for me. I have been doing this for awhile.

Money is a priority, yes. But so is your health.
You don't go to the gym because its a pain. Its boring and it hurts. Right?

Wow, that's harsh.

How is that hash? Its the truth.

There's never an excuse to willingly be a sucker.

 

[Luke Skywalker]

Even if you have one, you don't say that.

I think your interactions with people are based on the **** you say. You need to have a filter between your brain and your mouth. Some things you just don't verbalize. Not everything can be, or should be discussed.

Keep this confidential.

It is quite confidential in real life. The only places it's brought up or discussed is on anonymous boards. Nobody, except for my mom knows about that.

You mentioned not to go after the trainer. I virtually said that if I'm feeling horney and really want to get off on the trainer, that I have a fleshlight and an imagination and that's cool enough for me to kill any real motivation to go after her. Besides, she is my personal trainer, not my hooker and I wouldn't think she does any of that stuff on the side, and even if she did I wouldn't be interested.

BTW. Lose the fleshlight. And the porn. Hasn't gotten you anywhere so far, and its not going to work now.

You don't understand that these things are governed properly in my own life, and in fact have quite strict rules and guidelines and if it isn't making anything worst than it was without them, then there is no reason to get rid of them. In fact, I have already stated that it has a theraputic value of more realistic masturbation experience, where if you have only known hand-masturbation without any real sex past a certain age, then you need to readapt to more vaginal sex like experiences if you are not having sex.

I've made due without a trainer. It works for me. I have been doing this for awhile.

Money is a priority, yes. But so is your health.
You don't go to the gym because its a pain. Its boring and it hurts. Right?

I am going to the gym now. If I can not see the value of my health, then I need other extrinsic forms of motivation. In this case, getting my money's worth on personal trainer is one of them to help keep me accountable, and as I said, the feminine energy and good chemistry from the personal trainer is another reason. Apart from these, I haven't regularly being going to the gym because as you said it's a pain - it's boring and it hurts and it's like blah you have to go to this gym.

 

[Alle_Gory]

I haven't regularly being going to the gym because as you said it's a pain - it's boring and it hurts and it's like blah you have to go to this gym.

Yup. Thought so.

You need variety in the gym. Don't do the same thing over and over. Your mind, and your muscles will thank you especially since you won't easily plateau.

Music also helps. Try to get some good music, and varied. Socializing after a good workout will help some. Best thing you can do is to minimize the pain. Can't do anything while lifting weights, but a hot shower and stretching after will reduce the soreness.

I can see what you mean with the fleshlight. If that's what needs to be done... Its a temporary solution at best.

If you want these changes to be permanent, focus on them. Don't bite off more than you can chew. Make a simple plan, and follow through the motions until its a habit. At least 2 to 3 months to internalize it.


Best wishes. This is the right path.

 

[Luke Skywalker]

Not going on eharmony since they ask about income and I don't want to lie about that so I forget about applying there. As for lavalife and pof, I'm going to try copying love poems for free off the internet and posting them on my profile and twink it here and there -- at least for the following month. Since no other suggestion or concept has worked so far, what is there too lose.

There is no set goal of what I'm looking for and I'm taking a 'happy-go-lucky-anywhere' approach.

Apart from this, I'll be looking into meet-up.com probably going into November once my bronchitis has subsided somewhat.

 

[Alle_Gory]

Not going on eharmony since they ask about income and I don't want to lie about that so I forget about applying there. As for lavalife and pof, I'm going to try copying love poems for free off the internet and posting them on my profile and twink it here and there -- at least for the following month. Since no other suggestion or concept has worked so far, what is there too lose.

There is no set goal of what I'm looking for and I'm taking a 'happy-go-lucky-anywhere' approach.

Apart from this, I'll be looking into meet-up.com probably going into November once my bronchitis has subsided somewhat.

Have you ever tried just not giving a ****?

Who cares if eHarmony asks for your income. Put in some ridiculously low number and have fun with the profile. "I rescue cats and old ladies out of trees for a living." And then put a picture of yourself holding an adorable kitten.

You don't owe anyone anything. If they want something, it has to be earned. Respect, information, truth... etc.

You're not bound by law to disclose all your information to eHarmony.

 

[Luke Skywalker]

I feel satisfied for purposes of this sector, and other than pursuing gym goals, I'm dropping all the other goals as not necessary. I've had an amazing experience the other day.

I meet up with a girl I meet 2 years ago on the internet and we had an amazing time. We hugged each other for a long period and she let me fondle her a$$ while hugging. She introduced me to her parents and let me see her 2 year old son. (yeah she is a single mom).

She likes rough sex, being thrown against the wall and spanking -- which is stuff I really like in my mind. We saw a couple of movies and she was on my arms and cuddling close while viewing it. We then kissed each other up and I fondled her a$$ again, and she told me "You like touching my a$$", and I responded by spanking her hard, and she then said "I didn't know you were so strong." We kissed again and I told her she was "hot chocolate" (she is Black). She then left and she told me "I wish you weren't a virgin, otherwise we could have allot of fun".

When I told her that I like spanking -- that turned her on, and she wished I could spank her right there (wow!), but she didn't want to corrupt me because I was a virgin and all that. Her mom even warned me about her.

So I'm like WOW - I feel like I hit the jackpot here and will have to, despite what anyone can say, say that I feel VERY content. We are both Christians and hopefully our relationship will bring balance the extremes of me being totally rigid around girls - with another girl who is also a born-again Christian that is open and trusting with me. I'd like to see how this plays out over time.

It's like she wants to fvck me - but does not want to corrupt me because I'm a "virgin", and of course, I should wait for the right girl. She knows I'm not seeing her in terms of relationship because she has a son and knows my mom doesn't know we are seeing each other or she may freak out.

 

[Luke Skywalker]

On November 29, there was a very nasty crash and burn with this girl I was going out with. It was a wierd short relationship. I remembered her birthday was in November and wished her a happy birthday. Things happened and her interest level peaked over 85% to 90% as I portrayed on my last post.

However, we went out downtown on Nov 29th, I think she made some subtle sh1t tests or something, but whatever occurred, it appeared some arguement occurred and some nasty exchanges were made, eventually leading to the dissolument of everything. I just saw the interest level just drop like a stone with her.

As a result of this nasty crash and burn - I've decided to purchase Doc Love's the System (out of the money saved from future dates from that wretch). I have the three CD's and the System book, and have devoted myself to being a Doc Love student because I'm tired of seeing whatever relationships or stuff I get into ending so badly. I'm also going to study relationships, break-ups and divorces from enotalone and find out why the women leave the men.

In the meantime I'm taking a break from women entirely and will not be anyone unless her interest level is over 90% and makes it obvious -- I'll just be studying this material until February 3rd. After February 3rd, I'll give this another try.

 

[Snowman23]

This entire thread is just corny.

 

[Luke Skywalker]

This entire thread is just corny.

...then you must be the scarecrow on the corn field.

 

[Luke Skywalker]

I believe I have a particular weak-ness where it comes to disclosure. I like to disclose too many things, or talk negative to a girl thinking that a more intimate bond will be made, or that she will accept me for who I am. However, I've come to realise intuitively that this is sort of a fault.

After reading specfific definations from Doc Love, the System dating dictionary, such as "Acceptance", "Confide", "Honest", "Humor", "Interview" and "Intimacy" and reading those sections out to myself two times a day outloud -- it eventually leaked out what the real issue is.

I really do not have a sence of humor and tend to compensate for this by making disclosures about myself, even if it's on a negative light that shows vulnerabilities -- while according to this dictionary it is counter-productive to the goal of RAISING the interest level, and is more likely than not to lower the interest level.

The real battle is keeping things light, funny and enjoyable as much as you can with your date. My analytical and serious tendencies (more appearant when I'm half-asleep) raise it's ugly head to crash and burn relationships. Therefore, the solution:

a) never take a chick to see a serious movie - just show her light and funny movies to have an enjoyable time. Bad things tend to happen in my experience if you show her an action movie or something like that. Best thing to do is just keep these types of movies to yourself if you like them and watch them on your own. Otherwise, keep light and funny movies only to help keep a positive frame.

b) never talk too much if you are half-asleep, excuse yourself and say you are tired and just move to end the date ASAP. Likihood is you may say something stupid.

c) sence of humor is essential for relationships because you need a mechanism to diffuse things if they are getting out of hand and put a humorous spin to it. The Doc Love book says how to do this and provides some examples -- however, I feel that since I'm really bad in the humor department, that I may as well get another e-book which discusses "How to make women laugh" and tackles the humor element with more detail so it comes out more naturally if you ever have to use that.



Therefore, I've just purchased an e-book about humor from Martin Merill last night for $ 58.00 cad and I've just skimmed it last night. Today I've decided that "inner game" needs to be sorted out with humor big time since it appears that I need a massive overhaul.

First step is to activate the parasympathetic nervous system (the part that makes you relax) when you are feeling stressed out (i.e. being by a woman). Breaking exercises have been suggested and positive affirmations to handle that aspect. I'm practising various breathing exercises now, and other natural ways that are supposed to relax me, including yawning, thinking of positive emotions, being mindful of my body and what I'm smelling, etc... can google 'breathing exercises'.

Seems like a long way to go, but I'm making a long-term commitment. I don't make women laugh and am usually guarded up, and think this is a step in the right direction somewhere.