The Antichrist_Star
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Sep 9, 2002
- Messages
- 1,066
- Reaction score
- 3
- Age
- 41
*Cracks knuckles* As promised, I said that I would lead by example. Now... a little while back I started Reloaded: The Series, which would be posts that would redefine already mention concepts. The third one in the series will move this even further. One of the most common question that I get from everyone (guys and girls) is almost always on conversation... although it seems like such an easy concept, most people, especially our age... are not very good at it. There are many reasons for this I will mention the two that I think are most important:
1. People do not like to listen, only like to speak
2. People... mainly guys pay attention to the wrong signs.
This is where I come in.
I took a communication class last semester and it helped me in communicating with people a lot better... well now I will share the things that I have learned with you guys. Without further ado, I present the third installment of Reloaded: The Series on conversation entitled... So To Speak.
So... why is it that girls constantly say that guys never listen, no matter if we had both ears connected to their mouths... it's because guys are paying attention to what they are saying... not what they are doing. The first tip I will give you guys on the secret of conversation, is to pay more attention to what a person... especially women does, and less attention to what they say. This is called non-verbal communication and the reason why guys are often soooo terrible at conversation is because they completely over look it... well don't do that anymore and with good reason. Non-verbal communication makes up 65 to 93% of communication... did you hear what I said 65 to 93%!! That means guys, you could be missing out on well more than half of the conversation!! No wonder they say we don't listen. Understand this guys... women are the masters of non-verbal communication... how do think they managed to get there way in the years of patriachical socities (see Cleopatra, Mata Hari, Ninon De Lenclos... don't worry I'll get to seduction later). Because they did not have the ability to say things directly, they had to learn how to say things indirectly... which is what they do now. Remember guys... pay attention to what a girl does, that's the only way you should judge her interest level... I don't care how much she "says" that she likes you or think you're a great guy... unless she "shows" it, then it doesn't mean ****... bottom line. I won't get into the signs that you should look for, because that's been gone over millions of times.
Now that you know where to focus your attention... we'll move on to actual conversation. One of the biggest question that I get ask when it concerns conversation is... what do I talk about? People tell me that I talk too much, and the reason is... there's sooooo much to talk about. There is sooo many things to talk about on this planet, that you have to be a rock head to have nothing to talk about. One of the reasons that I can get into a conversation with virtually anyone, is because I know a little bit about almost everything, and I recommend that you do the same thing. Read books, magazines, AOL/MSN/Earthlink, Playboy... whatever. Just make sure that you read something or learn about something @ least once to twice a day. You don't have to be an expert on the topic, but if you know a little bit about it, you can @ least add something to the conversation. Next... know your audience. All to often people talk more than the person they are talking to. How are you supposed to get to know the person if you are talking more than they are? In order to figure them out, talk about the general things... then use the information to try to figure out the person a little more. Remember... let the person do most of the talking and when they ask you a question, answer it... but make it as ambiguous and aloof as possible. And remember to keep it light... there's no need to talk about things like religion or marriage the first time you meet someone... crack jokes, smile, be light-hearted.
One of the of last biggest questions that people ask me when it comes to conversation is, "What do I talk about when I'm on the phone." And the answer to that is... nothing. Don't talk on the phone if you can prevent it. Unless you are with the girl for two or more months I would not talking on the phone more than once a week, if @ all... especially if you go to the same school. Only time you should use the phone is to set up dates, and those calls should last no longer than 10 minutes.
With all of that said... remember these important things guys. Don't put sooo much emphasis on what you are going to say next, because you will not be able to pay attention to what the person is saying to you and showing you. Remember that not everyone is worth talking to, so if that shy girl just won't open up... screw it, no matter how hot she is... would you want to date someone who was as talkative as a rock... didn't think so. Also, just remember guys... pay attention to what women do... not say. Actions speak... words don't mean ****.
The Matrix: Reloaded
1. People do not like to listen, only like to speak
2. People... mainly guys pay attention to the wrong signs.
This is where I come in.
I took a communication class last semester and it helped me in communicating with people a lot better... well now I will share the things that I have learned with you guys. Without further ado, I present the third installment of Reloaded: The Series on conversation entitled... So To Speak.So... why is it that girls constantly say that guys never listen, no matter if we had both ears connected to their mouths... it's because guys are paying attention to what they are saying... not what they are doing. The first tip I will give you guys on the secret of conversation, is to pay more attention to what a person... especially women does, and less attention to what they say. This is called non-verbal communication and the reason why guys are often soooo terrible at conversation is because they completely over look it... well don't do that anymore and with good reason. Non-verbal communication makes up 65 to 93% of communication... did you hear what I said 65 to 93%!! That means guys, you could be missing out on well more than half of the conversation!! No wonder they say we don't listen. Understand this guys... women are the masters of non-verbal communication... how do think they managed to get there way in the years of patriachical socities (see Cleopatra, Mata Hari, Ninon De Lenclos... don't worry I'll get to seduction later). Because they did not have the ability to say things directly, they had to learn how to say things indirectly... which is what they do now. Remember guys... pay attention to what a girl does, that's the only way you should judge her interest level... I don't care how much she "says" that she likes you or think you're a great guy... unless she "shows" it, then it doesn't mean ****... bottom line. I won't get into the signs that you should look for, because that's been gone over millions of times.
Now that you know where to focus your attention... we'll move on to actual conversation. One of the biggest question that I get ask when it concerns conversation is... what do I talk about? People tell me that I talk too much, and the reason is... there's sooooo much to talk about. There is sooo many things to talk about on this planet, that you have to be a rock head to have nothing to talk about. One of the reasons that I can get into a conversation with virtually anyone, is because I know a little bit about almost everything, and I recommend that you do the same thing. Read books, magazines, AOL/MSN/Earthlink, Playboy... whatever. Just make sure that you read something or learn about something @ least once to twice a day. You don't have to be an expert on the topic, but if you know a little bit about it, you can @ least add something to the conversation. Next... know your audience. All to often people talk more than the person they are talking to. How are you supposed to get to know the person if you are talking more than they are? In order to figure them out, talk about the general things... then use the information to try to figure out the person a little more. Remember... let the person do most of the talking and when they ask you a question, answer it... but make it as ambiguous and aloof as possible. And remember to keep it light... there's no need to talk about things like religion or marriage the first time you meet someone... crack jokes, smile, be light-hearted.
One of the of last biggest questions that people ask me when it comes to conversation is, "What do I talk about when I'm on the phone." And the answer to that is... nothing. Don't talk on the phone if you can prevent it. Unless you are with the girl for two or more months I would not talking on the phone more than once a week, if @ all... especially if you go to the same school. Only time you should use the phone is to set up dates, and those calls should last no longer than 10 minutes.
With all of that said... remember these important things guys. Don't put sooo much emphasis on what you are going to say next, because you will not be able to pay attention to what the person is saying to you and showing you. Remember that not everyone is worth talking to, so if that shy girl just won't open up... screw it, no matter how hot she is... would you want to date someone who was as talkative as a rock... didn't think so. Also, just remember guys... pay attention to what women do... not say. Actions speak... words don't mean ****.
The Matrix: Reloaded
