Religious types.

[mikel]

I consider myself pretty versed in most types of females and situations that arise, case in point is one of the reasons I'm usually giving advice on here instead of taking it, or asking for it. But I have completely new ground that I've yet to ever tread on-- The Religious Girl.

I've been seeing this girl for going on 5 months, everything is great. I took her virginity(and she's 20, and yes. I know for fact I took it.) Which suprised me cause she is extremely, EXTREMELY hot, and she pretty cool to be around. But...she was raised as a Jehova's Witness. She moved down here during the winter of her senior year in high school, so she just homeschooled the rest of it out. So almost all of the people she knows are from her church too. I know it sounds bad, but she never even brought it up because she said it was 'embarrasing'.

Thing is, Since I've been around the block more than a few times. I usually know when a girl is lieing, or playing me for a chump. For instance she said she couldn't tell her parents about me, or call her house(she lives with her friend, and her family. Witness' too), or let someone that goes to church her church see us. It sounded so stupid that I almost left her, one night she didn't even go to the movies with me because someone that went to her church was going. This was about 1 month into the relationship.--But I met her parents(she doesn't live with them, but she is still afraid of them..) and I realized some things, They are zealots in the ut-most way. These people were crazy in my book, Darth Vader crazy. They liked me, but even told me that I would have to become a full member to their church in order for them to approve of me dating their daughter(which I dont really care about their approval, It showed to me that she wasn't lieing.)

Curfews, her only visiting me at my house(I've been to her friends families house once, when they weren't home--so I know she lives there. But her parents were coming home from a convention and if you aren't Witness your a bad influence, so you can't stay.) I'm not knocking anyones beliefs, but there are extreme conservatives in every religion.

Thing is I REALLY like this girl, she seems hypocritical about her religion. She says the only reason she goes to church is because she has gone so long, and feels obligated; plus that is the only friends she has really got to know. But she doesn't believe in 'everything' that they teach.

I really dont want to break it off with her, because she hasn't done anything. But I dont want to run around in the shadows either. This is a good girl, what I've been looking for forever, shes submissive, but definately easy to get along with(First woman I've met that thinks her place is at home, not being a woman hater it's just a rarity these days).

I feel natural around her I just dont know if this whole Religion thing is going to ultimately make it not worth the while. I like being around her, but I feel like I'm back in middle school again hiding from some girls dad in the back of the movie theatre. She is thinking of moving out...and she wants me to move in with her but I'm totally spun on the whole thing.

Question: Religion. I've been exclusive(RARE thing, if you know me, not bragging but it's not a first love type deal for me.) with this girl and I really like her. But is her family and their beliefs going to lock up things in the future? I dont want everyone to disown her because of me, at least not yet anyway.--Wait it out, Next? LJBF and see what happens? I'm confused..

 

[libre]

Dear young man

You do have quite a dilemma. I would not want to be in your shoes. Do not move in with her so that she can flee her parents. She will not be doing it out of choice but because she has no other option at the moment. Also, you are too young to have that kind of responsability. It isn't healthy for a man your age to be in a couple with responsabilities. Think about it; what would happen if she got pregnant?

If she moves in with you, she would be using you as a crutch to make things «official» with her parents. Your relationship is probably bound to eventually sour or putter out as your usefullness will have run it's course.

Yes, that young woman will have to make some hard choices which she wants to make in the near future. She could be rejected from her «community» when she «comes out» with her beliefs.

I would suggest her that she move out of her Jehovah's friend house and move in with an other woman roomate. This way, she would be more free to see you. Primarely, she would be putting some distance with her religion softly and without causing a «scandal» in her community. In this way, her parents would not lose face and would be less inclined to reject her.

Her parents will gradually realise that she is coming out on her own, and will have to let her «go». It will be up to them to see if they want to ostrasize their own flesh and blood or if they can choose to be «blind» to her beliefs so as not to reject her.

Good luck to you and to her.

 

[italostud]

Ok man. Listen to me! I have a good friend who is an ex-jehova, and I have dated a girl who's family are all jehovas.

The johova's witness religion borders on being a cult. It's kind of between your regular christian neighbours and those people in Waco, Texas.

All that stuff about her being afraid to be seen with you by other jehovas, that will NEVER end unless you become a full fledged jehova. And they go to church, A LOT. Do you want to go to a church 3 or 4 nights a week to a religion you don't even believe in?

If, say, a teenager is ousted from the religion(they will publicly announce that they're kicking you out if you're found to be socialising, partying, etc), even that kid's *parents* will avoid them.

This is also the religion that has predicted many times that the world was going to end. They did it in 1975 and some of the jehovas were selling their houses and stuff like that because they thought the world was going to end.

Study the religion a bit if you want and decide if you want to get into a situation like that.

Or, you can take my advice, forget you ever met this girl and her family.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

When a couple commits to one another, they tend to carry the beliefs of their parents. The problem arises of course when they don't coincide with one another. The secret is how comfortable and confident to create new beliefs (if necessary) based on the needs/goals/morality of their new family.

I've yet to see this happen with a couple who are just dating though. It can cause turbulent times with their respective families. Being an adult isn't always easy, neither is being a DJ though.

 

[Grey Fox]

Is the sex that great to put up with her crazy family? Keep in mind that if you two were to one day marry and have kids that her families influence would be beating down on you every second of th day? First they get you to switch over to there religon, do the things they want you to do to be approved of by the parents. Slowly but surely, the real you is replaced by someone that is certainly not you. Keep in mind these are also the people who go around and knock people's doors and preach at them. And if you became one of them, you would have to do the same thing too. Look I know you really like this girl, you find her hot....but there are plenty of hot girls out there will a lot less B.S. to deal with, and even then you know how to deal with it. Pull a Hamlet and tell her to "Get thee to a nunery," while you get your ass another woman who isn't a flakey little headache.

-Grey Fox