Relationships are like Balloons

[bigneil]

I've found that a relationship is like a balloon.

• You start out with something small and light.
• You continue to inflate it.
• It gets larger and larger.
• If it gets big enough and contains the right chemistry it floats on its own.
• However, once it pops (and the slightest thing can pop it) it can never be repaired.

In other words, once a person's interest level slips significantly, even if from the slightest mistake, it's over. Even if you apply No Contact, work out, make them jealous, and improve yourself in many ways - things will never be the same.

Once, as Doc. Love says "their interest falls below 49%" you can just never get it back, even if you manage to get another date with them. The new person they meet will always be more exciting to them (as you once were), and you'll never forgive them for mistreating you if they did. They can never be your "true love". So while you should improve yourself, don't waste your time trying to get them back. Just try to learn from your mistakes and move on.

Does anyone else agree with this analogy?

 

[women haze]

I do...Never again will I ever try to "win" back anyone. It's not worth it. You should have to WIN anyone back. If she has those feelings for you she will come back. It is up to you if you want her back or not.

Like you said though...Even if you take her back, the damage is still there.

 

[comic_relief]

Pretty much true, i've come to the conclusion. If a relationship is on the decline than it is almost impossible to resurrect it. Very few stories that I know of.

One example is Millard and Linda Fuller, founders of Habitat for Humanity International and Fuller Center for Housing. Look up there story since I don't have time to type it up.

- Comic_Relief

 

[sinnerman]

i agree..its can never be the same..you can pretend tht its ok but its never so.
however i love a challenge meaning i would try to make her feel attracted, raise her interest level, etc..ive had limited success in the area however I kinda view it as a good practice to improve the game without anything to lose

 

[SoSuaveDude]

I saw an ex, and refused to give her any attention like i used to, and she said i looked yummy... TF? i dnt want a relationship but i wouldn't mind tapping that one last time!

 

[Cherokee]

hmmm, if her interest level is declining, it just means shes getting bored and her respect for you as a man is wavering. You need to man up and put the girl in her place. If you can't do this, you didn't deserve her in the first instance.

However, if your interest level is declining and you care, find out why and get the girl to work on it or just move on.

Anything is salvageable, its a question of do you want to? or not?

 

[bigneil]

Exactly right Cherokee, we often must choose between having them and having their respect. This usually means telling them off and/or walking away. Example: she says "Maybe I'll see you later tonight" and you say "Nevermind" and blow them off even if they ask to see you later that night.

They often respond to that positively, however it still seems that the respect never returns to where it was early on, assuming they originally had extremely high IL.

 

[rocket87]

I agree with this, it's kind of an interesting analogy. Technically with the right person, you shouldn't ever have to worry about your balloon popping per se; roles are created/respected and situations fizzle on their own without patching/repair required.

 

[Lexington]

I wouldn't say it's THAT fragile. People have fights and arguments all the time but they get through it. My parents still get into arguments all the time and they've been married for 29 years.

I'd liken it more to a car. You can fix scratches and dents. Hell, you can even get some body work done. But a relationship is totaled when the guy or girl breaks it off.

At that point, a relationship cannot be salvaged. If it failed once, it's highly unlikely that the factors which lead to the breakup will resolve on the second (or third) go of things.

 

[Diaforetikos]

I agree with all the "bullets" except for the last one.

Lexington hit it on the mark. Don't get in a relationship if you don't wanna put in the work. Period.

 

[Chickfight]

All these analogies of a relationship being like a balloon or like a car are true.. if you're putting your value in a balloon or a car.

Live your life the way that makes you happy and whatever fits in there and can be a part of YOU is worth keeping. **** everything else. It your life and you're the one living it. Anything has the exact amount of value you give it.

 

[SamTheHobit]

This thread just made my day (sarcasm)

Its been 3 months of no contact and i Was thinking today if I could salvage my relationship, apparently not. Fvck.

 

[SoSuaveDude]

This thread just made my day (sarcasm)

Its been 3 months of no contact and i Was thinking today if I could salvage my relationship, apparently not. Fvck.

The point of no contact is moving on. Are you that desperate/needy that after 3 months, you still feel the need to cling to a woman that did you wrong?

 

[SamTheHobit]

The point of no contact is moving on. Are you that desperate/needy that after 3 months, you still feel the need to cling to a woman that did you wrong?

No just lonely as hell.

 

[bigneil]

I hear you Sam. Until you find another girl who you like as much as Ms. Wrong, you will still miss her. It's not really that you miss her per se, but you miss the person you imagined her to be. That person does not exist. It's the same as if she died and you are mourning her loss.

 

[comic_relief]

I hear you Sam. Until you find another girl who you like as much as Ms. Wrong, you will still miss her. It's not really that you miss her per se, but you miss the person you imagined her to be. That person does not exist. It's the same as if she died and you are mourning her loss.

not necessarily, you generally miss the feelings that the girl made you feel. You might not miss the girl at all but you miss the feelings.

- comic_relief

 

[SamTheHobit]

Sigh just have to keep marching on i guess.