Relationship troubles

[Okra]

Hello all. I have been in a relationship with a 17 year old girl for seven months. Things have been going good and I have been getting lots of sex until the past few weeks. She has also been playfully trying to annoy me too. I don't know what has happened. She still enjoys kissing and we almost had sex two nights ago. Her interest level doesn't seem that low. I don't know what could be going on. I have been moody lately due to quitting cocaine use. And her annoying games that I usually keep in check have become more annoying. I am trying to play this as cool as possible....even though I have probably acted afc at least once or twice during the past few weeks. Hopefully things will become more stable as I move further away from a cocaine-tinged past. Any one have any advice? I do plan on staying in the relationship as long as she doesn't pull any severe bs or things get worse.

 

[WaterTiger]

First of all let me praise you for kicking cocaine. That's a very hard thing to do.

As for the girl...my guess would be that she fell for you while you were on the coke. Your behavior was different. Now that you're coming off the stuff, your behavior has changed. She "liked" your old ways and is trying to get you to act like that again.

This is just my oppinion, others may differ.

 

[Okra]

I don't think so because I wasn't using cocaine when I first started going out with her. I didn't use until about 4 months into the relationship.

 

[DiSt0rTi0n_07]

You managed to quit cocaine, congrats!

Addictive drugs are always tough to stop doing and I dunno if this is necesarily the case but could it just be that the dramatic change (quitting) is just making her annoying things seem extra annoying? Sometimes we see things differently when we are under large amounts of pressure.

Also can you explain how she is annoying you more than usual? Is she asking for something?

 

[Okra]

Yes. Little things do seem to really annoy me. She threw my keys at me the other night at the movie theatre (we went to see Napoleon Dynamite) and they hit the road. I guess she was just playing around but I got mad and took her smoothie that she had just bought and threw it on the ground. She got really mad and tried to call her mom to pick her up. We got in a small argument and I apologized for throwing her smoothie onto the road. I know apologies probably aren't very don-juanish but my judgement has been screwed up lately. I just wanted to see the movie and end this silly argument. Anyways. Everything cools down. I ask some stupid question about what her ex-boyfriend would have done in a situation like that. I also ask her if I handled it well (which I know is afc to ask but I'm craving cocaine and am paranoid and I want to see a movie). We see the movie. I take her home. We kiss. But then I call her that night as shes doing dishes (being a cinderella for her lesbian moms) and she seems really distant. We talk for a while and she tells me she'll call me back. But she hasn't and that was two nights ago. I am definately not going to call her. But I am really wondering what is going on. She keeps telling me she wants to wait a while before having sex again. She is only like a 5 or a 6 (in looks) but she is this really cool black chick that is going to Stanford. I am probably the best looking boyfriend she has had.

 

[DiSt0rTi0n_07]

From what you are telling us man, I don't think she is the problem. Once again, you are under pressure and I think its making you somewhat unstable. If you observed her reactions when she threw the keys at you, you would know whether she was mad or just playing. Also, I don't think it was necessary to destroy the smoothie in either case. Y'gotta calm down a bit and NOT ask the AFC questions.

So... I would suggest that the next time you see her, it should be where you can just talk with her. You gotta explain to her that it's tough quitting cocaine and that you are under pressure.
Above all, be the man! No more AFC, just reassure her why she loves you. Also, watch the temper

 

[Okra]

Thanks for the help guys. This is just a classic case of me over-thinking things. It turns out she couldn't call me because her only phone was messed up. We have a date planned for this weekend and I don't know if I'm going to get sex...but I am dam sure going to don juan it and show my gf of seven months a fun time. And hopefully it will pay off. I know my over-thinking and all out paranoia was caused by my abrupt cocaine use, but many guys feel the same way when dealing with women. For all you guys out there dealing with this problem, remember not to jump to negative conclusions so soon.