Relationship/LTR tips from posters in relationships please

[SW15]

As a guy that has experienced every type of relationship possible more than once. The best deal I've ever had was an LTR where she did not live with me. Reason being: Things stay exciting. You have more freedom. Less complaining you have to listen to. She tries harder. She acts better. She doesn't gain weight. Less arguments. She is more compliant. The secks stays hot. You get the best of everything, with out a lot of the drawbacks.

If I ever split with my current LTR, I will never have another one live with me. It sucks some of the fun out the relationship.

I agree with the idea of keeping girlfriends but not moving in with them or marrying them. Eventually, the vast majority of girlfriends will push for at least one of those options, if not both.

 

[The Duke]

some great posts here, they cover mostly everything imo.

I think a lotta guys(here) simply lost their faith in the traditional LTR. Personally I know I did. Besides that the process is always the same, right? Meet her a seduce her sleep with her, and after some time (3,6 12 months) the spark disappears. Meet a new girl , same shyt. RInce and repeat . After a while you get numb.

The initial power of the " first love syndrome" will deteriorate after negative experiences, and this is bound to happen to every man at least once. This 1st love syndrome thing is impossible to repair. BUT, the positive side of this might be that it's also expected from a man . A man meets women, gets burned, mans up. If you are 30+, a woman expects you to know how life works, including how LTR's tend to fail. Nothing wrong with that.


I said it before, most men ending up in the manosphere dont get there because they had so many positive experiences. If you want a more general view on LTR, a "one size fits all" forum like r/relationship will give different , maybe more balanced point of view. But it will be extremely "meat and potato " bluepilled. (Read some divorce threads, about how dudes were taking to the cleaners and were completely obvious to how it happened. You'll notice sosuave dives WAY deeper into the actually processes of game and the female mind ).

A man has to go through stages. Let no one fool you they are naturels. You gotta fall hard a few times and get reality checked to find your place in modern dating. And even then it's a never ending process.

I ve learned that once I am in scarcity with a woman,I am lost already. What helped with me was the realization that the inevitable will happen anyway. Like, going to a boxing gym being scared to get punched. Once you lose the fear, it actually becomes fun.


Basically your expectations of women and love needs adjustments if you wanna lose scarcity mindset. And that NOT a one day course, and can't be done without women in your life who used to"scare " you .

Creme always rises to the top, good post buddy. Spot on. Only an experienced guy can post what you did.

 

[Jake_Gyllenhaal69]

I think a lotta guys(here) simply lost their faith in the traditional LTR. Personally I know I did. Besides that the process is always the same, right? Meet her a seduce her sleep with her, and after some time (3,6 12 months) the spark disappears. Meet a new girl , same shyt. RInce and repeat . After a while you get numb.

Because there's not enough good advice offered on here. The majority of guys in the PIll communities are obsessed with looks or moneymaxing, neglect the personality aspect, and think Chad and Tyrone are just over their borderline treating their women like chattel slaves lol.

 

[RangerMIke]

Relationships work like Milton Freedom's theory of economics. The exchange of goods and services only works if both parties benefit.

That is really the only relationship advice you need. You want to make a LTR work, well.... really you can't make it work.... you can screw it up, but the man is only 1/2 the picture, the other half is the woman, and since you really can't control her, or how she 'feels' you are always going to be subject to her machinations.

Both partners have to get what they want, the minute one isn't then it's over. Any effort to bust your @ss to keep things going will not work because you are no longer really benefiting. Eventually she will demand more and more from you for the 'privilege' of having her until you just collapse under the strain and quit.

Both partners have to put in a similar amount of effort to the benefit of each other of it will fail. When you are no longer getting what you want for what you are willing to give... walk away.

 

[Barrister]

I cannot find that good topic that was recently posted about this, so I would appreciate it if someone posted it here if they know what I am talking about. I know a lot of men are interested in LTRS than they will admit it, so everyone can benefit lol. The difference between me now and before my previous relationship is that I do not have the same scarcity mindset. Before, I was constantly paranoid that she was just going to play me/pull women logic, so I would still lightly spin plates which led to me cheating multiple times. This time, if things go south then I am not worried about being single for a few months to catch up and breathe. Hopefully, this will help, but this forum could use more helpful LTR posts. Not all of us are trying to spin plates 247 lol.

Jake - I have both spun plates and have had been a number of LTRs and I also lean LTR. Here is what I have found is important:

1. Never pedestalize your woman. May seem strange since you are exclusive, but if her sh1t stinks you need to first recognize it and second call her out on it and set her right. Don't fall into the trap of thinking because you are together that you always need to "get along" or "work on things" if she is clearly in the wrong and being ridiculous.

2. Continue to always lead at least 90-95% of the time. It becomes very easy the longer you are with a woman to simply say "so what do you want to do tonight", "where should we go for dinner," "do you mind if I go out with my buddies tonight?" Continue to lead and make the decisions. Don't put it on her. Not only do women hate having to make decisions, they especially hate indecisiveness out of their man. I was very guilty of this in past LTRs.

3. Understand that your sex-life is going to drop off the longer you are with her -- but at the same time -- when you do have sex you have to rock her world. Dead bedrooms mean your LTR is doomed and will also soon be dead. But don't think it means that your LTR is over if you go from sex 7 times a week down to 3-4. If you go from every day to 0 to 1 time per week though, you have problems.

4. I do not advocate cheating, but she must understand that you are ALWAYS desireable to other women no matter how long you have been with her. Seeing your secretary flirt with you or women at the bar being extra friendly may initially make her angry at you, but it is actually a GOOD thing for you long term and you should foster this. And it goes without saying that to do this to always continue to dress well and stay in shape. Don't become a couch potato who wears jeggings when you go out just because you have been with the same woman.

There are other things - but I think I hit the big ones.

 

[TheKid]

- If she doesnt have a job shes just gonna chat to dudes all day and start drama with you for fun.
- make her pay for as much as you can and try to make it the normal (this ones hard but rewarding)
- make sure she has a high cex drive and is a natural pleaser
- if you dont have access to her phone yet shes not truly yours (sad but true)
- ask them about their day and atleast try to listen it can hold off drama sometimes
- girls can feel entiltled quickly this comes in the form of attitude problems. Shut it down fast. Shes not being grateful. (Hard to fix without fighting)
- My friend = girl. A friend = guy.