OnTheWayUp
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
- Oct 13, 2010
- Messages
- 321
- Reaction score
- 9
Since coming to SS, I've changed from someone who was never able to get a date to a man who is confident that he can pull a girl most times that the initial interest is there. I've been on a lot of dates, pulled a lot of girls in clubs, and am very satisfied with my pick up abilities.
These abilities landed me in a relationship with a very loving 6.5 back in December 2011. For the first few months, everything was fantastic. I was her first time, so I took her on a journey through exploring her own sexuality. It was absolutely wonderful to lead her onto a path of discovering what turned her on. She was caring, loving, attentive, compliant, funny... very hard to fault, besides being a fraction overweight and a bit spoiled.
I then moved abroad for 4 months starting in August. To my surprise after what I'd read on here about LDRs, her interest level actually seemed to rise. I went into my internship abroad expecting our relationship to fizzle out, but I must have had the frame. She came out to visit me several times, and I didn't move to see her once. On her visits, which I organised completely, we had mind-blowingly good sex, for several days in a row each time. When she wasn't around, I cheated on her a couple of times, which is something I now regret. The opportunity and zero chance of being caught was too hard to refuse.
Whilst abroad, I had a very tough time on my internship, as I was poorly treated by the managers to say the least. It took a huge toll on my self-esteem. I've always been a bit of a nerd who thrives on academic success, and having that taken away from me was a shock to the system.
I'm now back in the UK and am working as a private tutor whilst looking for jobs. This means that I have to live at home for the next couple of months (I'm very grateful to my parents for letting me live here still). My confidence is as low as it has been in the last 4-5 years. I will get the job in the area I'm after, it's just that it will take a while, perhaps another 2-3 months. In the short-term, it's tough giving up the self-sufficiency that I'm used to. It's also all but impossible to find another girl without my own place to fall back on. I took an 18yo's number on a train the other day just to keep up my game, but I don't see how I can reasonably take things further with her (she also still lives with her parents).
These factors, particularly my lack of confidence and the logistical difficulties involved with finding a replacement, have definitely put a strain on my relationship. My girlfriend is still pretty happy, attentive, and attention-seeking, but it doesn't feel the same as before. It feels like hard work, and there have been many times when I've considered getting rid of her. She turned down sex last time I was with her, on the grounds of being "tired," something that she had never done before. In the last couple of weeks I've had to manufacture jealousy plotlines and pull away a bit to keep her chasing. Not much fun.
Wow, that was a long ramble. So I guess there were several reasons why I wrote the above:
1) I'm wondering whether my interests would best be served by leaving one of the good ones to focus on me for a while.
2) I'd like some more general tips on how to keep a long-term gf interested. I don't like feeling that I have to constantly reseduce my gf, but maybe that's what she needs? There's been a lot of game-playing and posturing in the last few weeks as well (mostly from me), and having messed around with girls who play games, it's something I'd like to avoid.
3) Am I doing the right thing by pulling back a little bit and focussing on my career? It feels like I am, it's just pretty hard work at the moment. I look forward to when I have a decent job.
Thanks for reading. All advice welcome.
These abilities landed me in a relationship with a very loving 6.5 back in December 2011. For the first few months, everything was fantastic. I was her first time, so I took her on a journey through exploring her own sexuality. It was absolutely wonderful to lead her onto a path of discovering what turned her on. She was caring, loving, attentive, compliant, funny... very hard to fault, besides being a fraction overweight and a bit spoiled.
I then moved abroad for 4 months starting in August. To my surprise after what I'd read on here about LDRs, her interest level actually seemed to rise. I went into my internship abroad expecting our relationship to fizzle out, but I must have had the frame. She came out to visit me several times, and I didn't move to see her once. On her visits, which I organised completely, we had mind-blowingly good sex, for several days in a row each time. When she wasn't around, I cheated on her a couple of times, which is something I now regret. The opportunity and zero chance of being caught was too hard to refuse.
Whilst abroad, I had a very tough time on my internship, as I was poorly treated by the managers to say the least. It took a huge toll on my self-esteem. I've always been a bit of a nerd who thrives on academic success, and having that taken away from me was a shock to the system.
I'm now back in the UK and am working as a private tutor whilst looking for jobs. This means that I have to live at home for the next couple of months (I'm very grateful to my parents for letting me live here still). My confidence is as low as it has been in the last 4-5 years. I will get the job in the area I'm after, it's just that it will take a while, perhaps another 2-3 months. In the short-term, it's tough giving up the self-sufficiency that I'm used to. It's also all but impossible to find another girl without my own place to fall back on. I took an 18yo's number on a train the other day just to keep up my game, but I don't see how I can reasonably take things further with her (she also still lives with her parents).
These factors, particularly my lack of confidence and the logistical difficulties involved with finding a replacement, have definitely put a strain on my relationship. My girlfriend is still pretty happy, attentive, and attention-seeking, but it doesn't feel the same as before. It feels like hard work, and there have been many times when I've considered getting rid of her. She turned down sex last time I was with her, on the grounds of being "tired," something that she had never done before. In the last couple of weeks I've had to manufacture jealousy plotlines and pull away a bit to keep her chasing. Not much fun.
Wow, that was a long ramble. So I guess there were several reasons why I wrote the above:
1) I'm wondering whether my interests would best be served by leaving one of the good ones to focus on me for a while.
2) I'd like some more general tips on how to keep a long-term gf interested. I don't like feeling that I have to constantly reseduce my gf, but maybe that's what she needs? There's been a lot of game-playing and posturing in the last few weeks as well (mostly from me), and having messed around with girls who play games, it's something I'd like to avoid.
3) Am I doing the right thing by pulling back a little bit and focussing on my career? It feels like I am, it's just pretty hard work at the moment. I look forward to when I have a decent job.
Thanks for reading. All advice welcome.
