"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Relationship Efficiency Factor

bigneil

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It occurred to me that almost all of my relationships over the past few years have fallen into a pattern:

1) There is an undeniable initial attraction (love at first sight) and I get her number right away.
2) The relationship blossoms quickly and goes strong, and there are a lot of great dates.
3) Without warning, I get the gut feeling that something changed and, within the next meeting, I confront her. Reading her response, I almost always choose to walk away. In almost every case, the last time I saw them was after a great date, at the height of the relationship. Looking back over a handful of such relationships I find great memories and very little pain.

Remember: if you are wondering if she wants to end it, simply say "Do you think maybe we should end it?" She'll either say "Absolutely Not!" or her answer is yes. Thus, it's a mutual breakup.

Anyhow, while at first I thought it might be a bad sign, now I think it's actually good that my relationships go this way. As you can see, I waste very little time on the early seduction phase or on the late breakup phases, hence a high "Relationship Efficiency Factor". This can be credited to a strong ability to read women well.

Knowing when there is high attraction early, and sensing if attraction fades late (and this can be hers or your own) will minimize wasted time and resources.

Have you had any efficient relationships and do you think they are a bad sign or good sign?
 
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"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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ArcBound

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That seems to be the majority of relationships for me these days.

I think it is good in an individual sense cause we know something is wrong even if we can't pinpoint it and we can bail out. Your instinct is usually right about waning attraction.

It is bad in an overall sense because a generation of people are also learning to bail at the first sign the honeymoon phase is over. The longest lasting relationships I've seen with my friends tend to be those that have cycles of waxing and waning attraction and they don't dump each other at the first sign of cooling down
 
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