Satori
Don Juan
Oh, the miserable Nice Guy. He is so giving, he cares so much. He sees women as real people with real feelings, not just sex objects (he would never stoop to using women in such a degrading way). He is kind and friendly, albeit a bit nervous, and he would always be there for his girl (if he had one). He would give himself completely to his girl (if he had one). But, alas, he does not.
It would do well for this Nice Guy to study economics, because it is ecomonics that the great complex interplay of men and women boils down to. Instead of dollars and cents, though, the currency of relationship economics is sexual value.
The Nice Guy doesn’t understand his failures with women, because he sees his “nice guy” tendencies as desireable traits, traits that women should value. What he doesn’t see is that these traits are completely devoid of sexual value. They may have relationship value, but this can actually be counterproductive.
The Nice Guy’s main weakness is his availability. This relates to the concept of supply and demand; he is extremely high in supply (availability) and so low in demand (sexual value). People will always want what they can’t have (low supply, therefore high demand). The more rare something is, the more it’s desired and valued (low supply, therefore high demand). The more other people there are that want something, the more it is valued (high demand, therefore increased value).
With complete availability and no sexual value, it’s no wonder the Nice Guy is unsuccessful. Not only that, but his desire for relationship and commitment drives the beautiful women away in fear. This can also be explained by economics. The Nice Guy has nothing to lose and everything to gain by commiting to a relationship. It increases his power over the girl and doesn’t limit his options because he has none. The girl, on the other hand, has everything to lose and nothing to gain. She doesn’t need to increase her power over the Nice Guy because she is already much more attractive than him. By committing to a relationship, all she is doing is reducing her own power by limiting her options. The only time a beautiful woman wants to commit to a relationship is when it is with the man she perceives to be her best option. The other inferior options then become irrelevant anyway.
Everyone has a subconscious sexual ranking system. At the top is the person they’re most attracted to, the one with the highest sexual value. Next is their second choice, then their third choice, and so on. Within this ranking system there is also a range of options. That is, a range of women with whom your sexual value is high enough that they would have sex with you. The options are concentrated at the bottom of the ranking and decrease as you go up the ranks.
The important point is that in any and every choice they make, people will always choose what they percieve to be their best option. In relationship decisions this means whichever person within their range of options that they rank the highest. The only option that matters is the best option. Commitment occurs when mutual “best options” come together. Breakup or affairs generally occur when a better option becomes available.
The answer, then, is to become their best option by increasing your sexual value. In other words, get your shít together. Remember the laws of supply and demand. You cannot always be available; your time must be valuable, and that means you have to get a life. No more sitting on your ass all day surfing the internet. It also helps to win over her friends, because if they value you it will make you all the more valuable to her.
You have to become social and interact with a lot of people for the same reason. Charisma is important, and is basically the ability to make people feel good when they talk to you. People like people that make them feel good (crazy, isn’t it?). A lot of this is body language – eye contact, smiling, being friendly. It also involves being genuinely interested in talking to them and in what they have to say (being a good listener/conversationalist). Enthusiasm is also wonderfully charismatic and will set you apart from everyone else (in a good way).
Sex is physical, and probably the single most important thing you can do to increase sexual value is to get in good physical shape. Find a workout program that will work for your body type and commit to it. Start eating right, and if you smoke, make sure you stop. Many nonsmoking women will reject you solely because you smoke.
All these things will increase your confidence, which we all know is a key factor in success with women. Confidence is basically your perceived value of yourself. If you don’t see yourself as valuable, women most certainly will not either.
When you become confident you will no longer analyze every little thing she does, and you will no longer ask “what should I say?” and “what should I do?” because you will be able to make your own decisions. You will also never become attached to one girl because you know that you always have other options.
No more lamenting your plight, Mr. Nice Guy. No more waiting for something to change. Look at yourself honestly and see why it is that women do not value you.
“I’m skinny and weak…”
Yes, you are. Hit the gym and you will become muscled and strong. People will gain a new respect for you before you even open your mouth.
“I have acne and I look like a nerd”
Well, there are many successful treatments for acne available now. You could get contacts instead of glasses and get new clothes that are more fashionable. The salespeople in the stores would be glad to help you pick out something that looks good. You could also get a haircut and have them do something different with it this time.
“I’m a loner, I don’t have many friends…”
That’s true. Most people don’t even notice you because you’ve never acknowledged them before. Talk to them and be friendly and they will see you in a whole new light. All the more so if you’ve changed your appearance too.
“I don’t really have a life, I’m not good at anything”
Being good at anything means having practiced it. Choose something that interests you and get involved with it. What interests you? Music? Learn to play guitar. Art? Get a sketch pad and some pencils. Photography? Save up for a camera. Sports? Get a ball and practice, try to find a team that plays casually. There’s countless ways to get involved in things.
“It seems like no one likes me or respects me”
People have a concept of you now, a definition of who you are, that is negative. If you do the above things, suddenly you will not match their concept of you and they will be forced to form a new one. If you’ve done the above things, this new concept should be highly positive.
Why do you fear these changes? Why do you cower in your comfort zone when you know that this is the way to success? You have nothing to lose and everything to gain. All you have to do is put forth the effort to make it happen.
It would do well for this Nice Guy to study economics, because it is ecomonics that the great complex interplay of men and women boils down to. Instead of dollars and cents, though, the currency of relationship economics is sexual value.
The Nice Guy doesn’t understand his failures with women, because he sees his “nice guy” tendencies as desireable traits, traits that women should value. What he doesn’t see is that these traits are completely devoid of sexual value. They may have relationship value, but this can actually be counterproductive.
The Nice Guy’s main weakness is his availability. This relates to the concept of supply and demand; he is extremely high in supply (availability) and so low in demand (sexual value). People will always want what they can’t have (low supply, therefore high demand). The more rare something is, the more it’s desired and valued (low supply, therefore high demand). The more other people there are that want something, the more it is valued (high demand, therefore increased value).
With complete availability and no sexual value, it’s no wonder the Nice Guy is unsuccessful. Not only that, but his desire for relationship and commitment drives the beautiful women away in fear. This can also be explained by economics. The Nice Guy has nothing to lose and everything to gain by commiting to a relationship. It increases his power over the girl and doesn’t limit his options because he has none. The girl, on the other hand, has everything to lose and nothing to gain. She doesn’t need to increase her power over the Nice Guy because she is already much more attractive than him. By committing to a relationship, all she is doing is reducing her own power by limiting her options. The only time a beautiful woman wants to commit to a relationship is when it is with the man she perceives to be her best option. The other inferior options then become irrelevant anyway.
Everyone has a subconscious sexual ranking system. At the top is the person they’re most attracted to, the one with the highest sexual value. Next is their second choice, then their third choice, and so on. Within this ranking system there is also a range of options. That is, a range of women with whom your sexual value is high enough that they would have sex with you. The options are concentrated at the bottom of the ranking and decrease as you go up the ranks.
The important point is that in any and every choice they make, people will always choose what they percieve to be their best option. In relationship decisions this means whichever person within their range of options that they rank the highest. The only option that matters is the best option. Commitment occurs when mutual “best options” come together. Breakup or affairs generally occur when a better option becomes available.
The answer, then, is to become their best option by increasing your sexual value. In other words, get your shít together. Remember the laws of supply and demand. You cannot always be available; your time must be valuable, and that means you have to get a life. No more sitting on your ass all day surfing the internet. It also helps to win over her friends, because if they value you it will make you all the more valuable to her.
You have to become social and interact with a lot of people for the same reason. Charisma is important, and is basically the ability to make people feel good when they talk to you. People like people that make them feel good (crazy, isn’t it?). A lot of this is body language – eye contact, smiling, being friendly. It also involves being genuinely interested in talking to them and in what they have to say (being a good listener/conversationalist). Enthusiasm is also wonderfully charismatic and will set you apart from everyone else (in a good way).
Sex is physical, and probably the single most important thing you can do to increase sexual value is to get in good physical shape. Find a workout program that will work for your body type and commit to it. Start eating right, and if you smoke, make sure you stop. Many nonsmoking women will reject you solely because you smoke.
All these things will increase your confidence, which we all know is a key factor in success with women. Confidence is basically your perceived value of yourself. If you don’t see yourself as valuable, women most certainly will not either.
When you become confident you will no longer analyze every little thing she does, and you will no longer ask “what should I say?” and “what should I do?” because you will be able to make your own decisions. You will also never become attached to one girl because you know that you always have other options.
No more lamenting your plight, Mr. Nice Guy. No more waiting for something to change. Look at yourself honestly and see why it is that women do not value you.
“I’m skinny and weak…”
Yes, you are. Hit the gym and you will become muscled and strong. People will gain a new respect for you before you even open your mouth.
“I have acne and I look like a nerd”
Well, there are many successful treatments for acne available now. You could get contacts instead of glasses and get new clothes that are more fashionable. The salespeople in the stores would be glad to help you pick out something that looks good. You could also get a haircut and have them do something different with it this time.
“I’m a loner, I don’t have many friends…”
That’s true. Most people don’t even notice you because you’ve never acknowledged them before. Talk to them and be friendly and they will see you in a whole new light. All the more so if you’ve changed your appearance too.
“I don’t really have a life, I’m not good at anything”
Being good at anything means having practiced it. Choose something that interests you and get involved with it. What interests you? Music? Learn to play guitar. Art? Get a sketch pad and some pencils. Photography? Save up for a camera. Sports? Get a ball and practice, try to find a team that plays casually. There’s countless ways to get involved in things.
“It seems like no one likes me or respects me”
People have a concept of you now, a definition of who you are, that is negative. If you do the above things, suddenly you will not match their concept of you and they will be forced to form a new one. If you’ve done the above things, this new concept should be highly positive.
Why do you fear these changes? Why do you cower in your comfort zone when you know that this is the way to success? You have nothing to lose and everything to gain. All you have to do is put forth the effort to make it happen.
