Relationship advice...

[Squiggly Sponge]

How does the game change in a relationship? The focus is not on creating attraction, but maintaining it as well as getting to know the person and perhaps due to the slant this site has on the former, I'm finding myself confused at the things I'm doing in this relationship.

It's basically me thinking which rules apply and which don't... for example I find myself doing things that are frowned upon here, calling her and having long conversations (not that often, but still) and texting regularly.

I believe my worries come from the fact that I can't tell how interested she is, a lot of women will stay in crappy relationships because they don't want to be single, so how can you tell? And also, what are some Red Flags to be on the lookout for? Guys (here) say they know all they need to know about a woman in the first few weeks... so how do I get to this stage?

Long story short, I don't want to be a simp (whipped, etc), but I understand that I'll need to open up, and actually appear to be interested rather than just staying indifferent - there has to be some sort of progression, right? This is my first go at a long term relationship, so I know experience is the best teacher, but a few tips from the dons couldn't hurt?

Thanks for the help guys!

 

[Bible_Belt]

The most important rule is to never lose your willingness to walk away. Make her happy if she is making you happy in return. But when the sex goes downhill, and/or she ever says 'I need a break/space.' then you have to be the one to end it. In any relationship, the one side who will walk away first has the power. Keep your power; AFCs give it away by trying to cling to a woman when she pulls away. It's easy to lose sight of the fact that any woman can be replaced - but everyone on this Earth is replaceable. Your gf is no exception. Stay in the ltr only when your needs are being met; leave as soon as they are not.

 

[AlanB]

The most important rule is to never lose your willingness to walk away. Make her happy if she is making you happy in return. But when the sex goes downhill, and/or she ever says 'I need a break/space.' then you have to be the one to end it. In any relationship, the one side who will walk away first has the power. Keep your power; AFCs give it away by trying to cling to a woman when she pulls away. It's easy to lose sight of the fact that any woman can be replaced - but everyone on this Earth is replaceable. Your gf is no exception. Stay in the ltr only when your needs are being met; leave as soon as they are not.

Just thought I would highlight the 'as soon as' as being important. I think that was the first day I decided not to try and improve myself from *****-whipped AFC-dom and told my (now ex-gf) that I was going out to look at somewhere else to live because I was moving out. Unfortunately, I only did this way too late on and things had already gone to sh1t so although I ended up staying for another couple of months, things quickly went back to normal and when I finally left, I was kicked out.

 

[I.A.F.Y.B.]

I agree with Bible Belt 100%.

You know, there is not enough information for guys in LTR's. Which makes me think of making a new thread. But, I have made some previous threads to help guys out in LTRs. The links are below and maybe they will help you later down the road.

Attraction Killers - http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=128249 Tips we should all know with any stage of a relationship.

Keeping LTR Interest Level - http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=136122

Signs of high interest level in a LTR - http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=136066