Relationship advice from a woman that actually makes sense

[Bokanovsky]

This woman is a marriage counsellor so you would expect her advice to be trash by definition. But there's an exception to every rule and her advice actually makes a lot of sense. I don't agree with everything she says but she makes some really good points:

1) Women are only attracted to men they can't manipulate and are afraid of losing.
2) Marriage only makes sense for religious reasons. If you're not religious and your woman pushes hard for marriage, you should automatically be suspicious.
3) Alimony is a ridiculous concept. A man is required to give money to his ex-wife even after divorce yet a woman is not required to sleep with her ex-husband.
4) Attraction is just as important to women as it is to men. A woman feels better about herself if she's with a man she finds attractive.
5) Out culture creates "sadistic women" by rewarding bad behaviour.
6) Nice guys fail because they express love in a feminine way.

Worth a watch.

 

[DreamAgain]

This woman is a marriage counsellor so you would expect her advice to be trash by definition. But there's an exception to every rule and her advice actually makes a lot of sense. I don't agree with everything she says but she makes some really good points:

1) Women are only attracted to men they can't manipulate and are afraid of losing.
2) Marriage only makes sense for religious reasons. If you're not religious and your woman pushes hard for marriage, you should automatically be suspicious.
3) Alimony is a ridiculous concept. A man is required to give money to his ex-wife even after divorce yet a woman is not required to sleep with her ex-husband.
4) Attraction is just as important to women as it is to men. A woman feels better about herself if she's with a man she finds attractive.
5) Out culture creates "sadistic women" by rewarding bad behaviour.
6) Nice guys fail because they express love in a feminine way.

Worth a watch.

In general these things are true. The only exception I see for #1 is that, and I know this personally with women in my social circle, who have gone for beta guys in relationships to get security precisely because they lost the guy who they had perhaps "true" attraction for in their earlier years, but pumped and dumped them.

I dont think women enjoy being pumped and dumped. I think their attraction and psyche can be recalibrated to avoid those unpleasant feelings.

 

[EyeBRollin]

Accurate except for #3. Alimony is not gendered. It’s spousal support. If you are the house husband she could be paying you.

 

[JoyDivision1990]

I dont think women enjoy being pumped and dumped. I think their attraction and psyche can be recalibrated to avoid those unpleasant feelings.

Hi Dream, re bolded, I don't think they do either but how does that relate to maintaining their attraction to men they can't manipulate?

There are plenty of "good" guys that don't pump and dump and who want relationships, even marriage, who simply will not allow themselves to be manipulated by women. They're strong, they have backbone.

Those are the men women are attracted to and what the female psychologist was referring to.

My take on it anyway.

 

[DreamAgain]

Hi Dream, re bolded, I don't think they do either but how does that relate to maintaining their attraction to men they can't manipulate?

There are plenty of "good" guys that don't pump and dump and who want relationships, even marriage, who simply will not allow themselves to be manipulated by women. They're strong, they have backbone.

Those are the men women are attracted to and what the female psychologist was referring to.

My take on it anyway.

Hmm, maybe. I find that many "good" guys will have to succumb to some manipulation the hotter the girl is. Again, it all seemingly comes down to SMV and who has leverage over the other person, and how much.

 

[BadBoy89]

This woman is a marriage counsellor so you would expect her advice to be trash by definition. But there's an exception to every rule and her advice actually makes a lot of sense. I don't agree with everything she says but she makes some really good points:

I've seen some of her videos, she does make decent points before but what she says here, it's somewhat pretentious.

1) Women are only attracted to men they can't manipulate and are afraid of losing.

Can't manipulate.

This depends on the age of the woman. For younger women wanting sex and babies, being attracted to men has nothing to do with the man not being able to be manipulated. It has to do with his genetics. A shorter man could be much sharper than a taller man, she won't go with the shorter guy because "he can't be manipulated", she will go with him because he is 6'1.

Now If a woman is older, or has kids, or is in menopause, then yes, a man not being able to be manipulated is sexy. She doesn't need his genetics anymore, she needs his brains.

Afraid of losing

This only works if she has no better options.

2) Marriage only makes sense for religious reasons. If you're not religious and your woman pushes hard for marriage, you should automatically be suspicious.

It looks like she is married. Hope she did it for religious reasons.

3) Alimony is a ridiculous concept. A man is required to give money to his ex-wife even after divorce yet a woman is not required to sleep with her ex-husband.

If her daughter married a rich guy, they got divorced, and the courts said he would have to pay her $250,000 a month in alimony, she would tell her daughter, "do not accept it"?

4) Attraction is just as important to women as it is to men. A woman feels better about herself if she's with a man she finds attractive.

Again it depends on the woman's age.

For young women, yes, attraction is very important.
For older women, no, attraction is not as important. They need a man's resources and will sacrifice his look for access to them.

5) Out culture creates "sadistic women" by rewarding bad behavior.

True. Tell the (dumb) politicians.

6) Nice guys fail because they express love in a feminine way.

She keeps saying "men fail because they think women don't have to attracted to men. For women, its all about attraction, attraction, attraction, attraction, attraction, attraction,"

OK, so what attracts women? A man's physical attributes. His genetics. His height, his hair, his body. So then everything you have said that a man should do that doesn't relate to physical attraction is garbage. And if a man is not tall, why should he even listen to you?

You know, another dating coach has a website, he has written like 20,000 articles on how to get girls, but he also says, in one a few words in one of the articles, "This will all work, but, BUT, you have to attractive."

OK, so both his and this lady's dating advice is GARBAGE if the man is not at least 6'1. Hey, it's ALL about ATTRACTION, right?

 

[Hamurabimbi]

This woman is a marriage counsellor so you would expect her advice to be trash by definition. But there's an exception to every rule and her advice actually makes a lot of sense. I don't agree with everything she says but she makes some really good points:

1) Women are only attracted to men they can't manipulate and are afraid of losing.
2) Marriage only makes sense for religious reasons. If you're not religious and your woman pushes hard for marriage, you should automatically be suspicious.
3) Alimony is a ridiculous concept. A man is required to give money to his ex-wife even after divorce yet a woman is not required to sleep with her ex-husband.
4) Attraction is just as important to women as it is to men. A woman feels better about herself if she's with a man she finds attractive.
5) Out culture creates "sadistic women" by rewarding bad behaviour.
6) Nice guys fail because they express love in a feminine way.

Worth a watch.

Agree with 1 & 4.
If your woman isn’t insisting on posting selfies you two together on SM. That’s a problem.
No opinion on 3, 5 & 6.
2. Yes. But I also think marraige is good for society and parenting in general.

 

[Hamurabimbi]

I've seen some of her videos, she does make decent points before but what she says here, it's somewhat pretentious.



Can't manipulate.

This depends on the age of the woman. For younger women wanting sex and babies, being attracted to men has nothing to do with the man not being able to be manipulated. It has to do with his genetics. A shorter man could be much sharper than a taller man, she won't go with the shorter guy because "he can't be manipulated", she will go with him because he is 6'1.

Now If a woman is older, or has kids, or is in menopause, then yes, a man not being able to be manipulated is sexy. She doesn't need his genetics anymore, she needs his brains.

Afraid of losing

This only works if she has no better options.



It looks like she is married. Hope she did it for religious reasons.



If her daughter married a rich guy, they got divorced, and the courts said he would have to pay her $250,000 a month in alimony, she would tell her daughter, "do not accept it"?



Again it depends on the woman's age.

For young women, yes, attraction is very important.
For older women, no, attraction is not as important. They need a man's resources and will sacrifice his look for access to them.



True. Tell the (dumb) politicians.



She keeps saying "men fail because they think women don't have to attracted to men. For women, its all about attraction, attraction, attraction, attraction, attraction, attraction,"

OK, so what attracts women? A man's physical attributes. His genetics. His height, his hair, his body. So then everything you have said that a man should do that doesn't relate to physical attraction is garbage. And if a man is not tall, why should he even listen to you?

You know, another dating coach has a website, he has written like 20,000 articles on how to get girls, but he also says, in one a few words in one of the articles, "This will all work, but, BUT, you have to attractive."

OK, so both his and this lady's dating advice is GARBAGE if the man is not at least 6'1. Hey, it's ALL about ATTRACTION, right?

I noticed that when you asked ‘what attracts a woman?’. You left two things out. Two things that I believe are very important to a woman. Facial attractiveness & dvck size.

 

[Manure Spherian]

She once said only 1% of men can expect “submission” (whatever this means) from their women because the remaining 99 percent are not loaded and powerful. To wit: men must know their place in this gynecocracy and realize they have no authority over their wives (and daughters). Better be a good little simp beta boys, else Papa Gubment will show you who’s boss.

Just another enforcer of the gynocratic order who wants 100% female ownership of the sexual market but tells some truths.

 

[JoyDivision1990]

Hmm, maybe. I find that many "good" guys will have to succumb to some manipulation the hotter the girl is. Again, it all seemingly comes down to SMV and who has leverage over the other person, and how much.

I have to disagree @ Dream. I absolutely do not believe a "good" guy must succumb to manipulation the hotter the girl is; what is your definition of a "good guy" a SIMP? It's not mine and is precisely the problem in today's dating environment. Many men have forgotten how to be men!

I am not sure what happened, perhaps it's the lack of a father figure in the home and/or too many men being raised by single moms, but from what I can see, too many men have lost their ability to stand up for themselves, be strong leaders and NOT allow themselves to be manipulated, not only by women but by anyone.

And this notion that the hotter the woman, the man should just resign himself to being manipulated? Well I simply cannot accept that.

I also take issue with the standard trope bandied about re a man's SMV, who has higher leverage, dumping when finding something "better," what the heck.

@Manure Spherian posted something in another thread that I agree with, I hope he doesn't mind that I post it here.

Also the concept of better is interesting. If one truly cherishes a spouse and the family and home they made, how could someone else be “better”. That is, if he is a good husband and father, what about such a man filling such roles can be better?

IMO it's the same in a relationship between boyfriend and girlfriend. Two people meet, there is a mutual attraction, an energy, a connection between them, they begin dating/f*cking whatever and they play it out until either it doesn't work anymore or they agree to commit to each other.

The notion that when two people who are truly connected - emotionally, physically, spiritually (if that's their thing) - one or the other will toss the other out just because someone else came along with higher SMV (looks, status, money) or who is "better," is just so superficial and shallow, just something else I can't wrap my brain around and refuse to accept, and why the state of relationships and marriage has become sort of a joke in today's society.

$.02.

 

[Manure Spherian]

, I hope he doesn't mind that I post it here.

I don’t mind at all. You can quote whatever I post.

Thanks.

 

[Manure Spherian]

Are you a Joy Division fan?

 

[JoyDivision1990]

Are you a Joy Division fan?

Yes!!! And also New Order after the death of JD's lead singer Ian Curtis, may he RIP.

 

[Manure Spherian]

I find that many "good" guys will have to succumb to some manipulation the hotter the girl is.

Then to avoid that he can go for a less hot women, or Plain Jane (how terrible).

She keeps saying "men fail because they think women don't have to attracted to men. For women, its all about attraction, attraction, attraction, attraction, attraction, attraction,"

Whatcha gotta do is out-alpha Will Smith, Vladimir Putin, Ben Affleck, Johnny Depp, Tom Brady, Brad Pitt, Kevin Costner, and some other most desirable men on the planet. Be more attractive than them.

Oh wait, all of them were publicly punked or left by their women. Oh, I forgot: they didn’t hold frame and show these broads who was boss.

Better hit the gym, do 5/3/1, start businesses, and keep improving thyself, fellas. Turn thyself into high quality. Whatever women want you do it.

 

[old_skoolr]

It's actually not bad advice, if you believe that women are incapable of giving dating advice to men.

What they believe works & what works are 2 different things.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

This woman is a marriage counsellor so you would expect her advice to be trash by definition. But there's an exception to every rule and her advice actually makes a lot of sense. I don't agree with everything she says but she makes some really good points:

You're diving too deep. The only reason to watch this type of content is understand that women don't think and act like men. All the stuff she says that 'makes sense' is borrowed from men.