Rejection Theory

[SW15]

Too much rejection is bad and will cause psychological and lifestyle problems. Resort to porn and masturbation is a result of female rejections. Excessive drinking and drug use often come from failed romance endeavors. MGTOW can be a consequence.

Success matters. There's little value in rejections. Occasional rejection is okay, but there needs to be success to keep it going.

 

[Who Dares Win]

I would say that its called economy, meaning that we in this field like others try to use our resources where the rate of return is high enough to compensate for the overall expence.

If a guy tries 20 attempts and get shut down 20 times its actually better if the stops doing it and focus on something else cause its clear that in his conditions at the moment he lacks the skills or the features to succeed.

Also any attemp is not connected to the other, we're not talkin about a guy that tries to do 10 pull-ups and after failing 2 days in a row finally succeed.

We can frame it the way we want but rejection still sucks and still harms our self esteem, the only positive thing coming out of it is the remineder that something can be improved.

We defeat rejections by improving not by trying harder with an other girl if every girl before has rejected us.

 

[deBrito]

I got rejected a lot, and by each rejection, my self-esteem would go low, to the point where i did not wanted to even see women again.

There is no way to fake true confidence, and true confidence comes from success, not failures, each failure is a strike in your stomach, and man it hurts. But i had to change my mindset or else i would perish, so, i adopted the "i'm already getting rejected, but what if?" and that gave me some boost, eventually i got some successes.

I still get rejected, and my old mindset started getting rusty, so i changed it again, now it is "some you win, some you lose" and i just keep this with myself, and i never stop feeding my hope, hope is the last one to die, but when she dies, you start to get some problems.

Overall, internalize what the older guys here says, focus on your objectives, goals, tasks, if a man has not one objective or goals or tasks, make one, make two, make many and stick to it, as you face your grind and struggles, life will present many woman that you'll be able to approach.

 

[TheGambino]

That’s why you need to wait for choosing signals, if she chooses you approach

 

[zekko]

There's probably some truth in it. If a guy keeps getting rejected he could get frustrated and give up. But on the other hand, sexual attraction is going to push him to keep trying.

I was thinking when I heard this that it's a good thing sexual drive is so strong, because that will keep the guy trying even if he is frustrated. That's how the human race keeps going.

Your post made me think of something simple, like shooting a basketball into a goal. When I was an adolescent, I started practicing every day and obviously I got better and better to the point that I could run with the brothers downtown. Obviously that involved a lot of missed shots.

I think the idea behind this theory applies when you don't have any success. In your example, you likely made the shot at some point, so you know you can do it. It's just a matter of improving your percentages. The taste of success, even a small one, keeps you going while you try to improve. It's more related to Pavlov's Dog than Learned Helplessness.

 

[BadBoy89]

I was recently reading about something called "Learned Helplessness Theory". Basically, this states that if you attempt a task multiple times without success, then you give up because it teaches you that you can't succeed at it.

I was wondering how this squares with the PUA idea of collecting rejections, and rejections being a good thing, and how you should not GAF about rejections?

The issue with the type of thinking of “go get rejections for the sake of getting rejections” is not helpful. I agree a man shouldn’t wallow in rejections and give up, but if he is constantly getting rejected from women, he has to change his approach/game/style.

As long as a man connects with a woman and directly asks her out, he can be satisfied with his work. Be smooth, but put all effort in her.

When PUA say “go get 50 rejections at the mall“ to build confidence, it‘s ridiculous. Confidence comes from education, appearance, Knowledge, experience.

Be strong men.

 

[corrector]

Allot of issues with approaching women still boils down to other issues besides the women you are approaching. Your own nerves is a big thing. You might make some sort of scene and people around will notice, especially with social media when people can zip up a smartphone and start video-taping some approach-fail(s) and track you out. There is also the issue she could say yes and you ignore all of her red-flags because you have blinders on because you don't care, you just want to salvage what's left of your wrecked ego. This is the main reason I quit approaches and online. It's not because of rejection, it's because I might end up settling with someone I don't want just to feel someone out there likes me (because of the ego getting wrecked) and be worst off than I am right now. This is how I met my ex-wife and rushed into a marriage, with an expensive wedding, I wasn't ready for. Desperation just leads to bad judgment.

 

[Robert28]

The idea for me is to take a rejection and make it fun. Amplify it and find a comical way of interpretating it. Try not to take it to serious.

If she hard rejects you just ask her ..... is your mom is free?
Or just simply tell her shes missing an opertunity of a life time. 1 day sale.

If you make it fun and she gets pissed well you just dodged a bullet.

You can come up with clever ways to spin it on her.
Not every gorl is going to like you. Most will not.
Egos hate happiness and success.

Rejection I can handle. It’s this dancing around it, trying to make me interpret some code bs they do that drives me crazy.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

The idea for me is to take a rejection and make it fun. Amplify it and find a comical way of interpretating it. Try not to take it to serious.

If she hard rejects you just ask her ..... is your mom is free?
Or just simply tell her shes missing an opertunity of a life time. 1 day sale.

If you make it fun and she gets pissed well you just dodged a bullet.

You can come up with clever ways to spin it on her.
Not every gorl is going to like you. Most will not.
Egos hate happiness and success.

I like that last line. Egos hate happiness and success.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

I know but its just there language. Its the way it is bro.

Rejection should lead you to a path more suitable for you.

 

[Robert28]

I know but its just there language. Its the way it is bro.

People learn new languages all the time. It’s time women started doing the same.

 

[Robert28]

Not what that meant. Stay angry or except it. Its nature.

Not angry. It’s my nature to ghost without explanation and that’s what I do.

 

[deBrito]

Not angry. It’s my nature to ghost without explanation and that’s what I do.

Ghost without explanation is what they do too.

 

[corrector]

The idea for me is to take a rejection and make it fun. Amplify it and find a comical way of interpretating it. Try not to take it to serious.

Of course, since you are married you have a safe base which is your wife, so you can afford to make it fun.

 

[Kotaix]

Learned Helplessness is classed as a psychiatric condition, it's not a natural state of mind for people; and I would wager that only a small percentage of people are damaged, stupid or ugly enough to fall into this state of mind.

 

[Bigpapa]

I got rejected a lot, and by each rejection, my self-esteem would go low, to the point where i did not wanted to even see women again.

There is no way to fake true confidence, and true confidence comes from success, not failures, each failure is a strike in your stomach, and man it hurts. But i had to change my mindset or else i would perish, so, i adopted the "i'm already getting rejected, but what if?" and that gave me some boost, eventually i got some successes.

I still get rejected, and my old mindset started getting rusty, so i changed it again, now it is "some you win, some you lose" and i just keep this with myself, and i never stop feeding my hope, hope is the last one to die, but when she dies, you start to get some problems.

Overall, internalize what the older guys here says, focus on your objectives, goals, tasks, if a man has not one objective or goals or tasks, make one, make two, make many and stick to it, as you face your grind and struggles, life will present many woman that you'll be able to approach.

when I go through a rough patch in life I just tell myself “ man , it is about scoring once , you do not have to score every time “

basically I reverse engineered an old police saying “ we have to be right only once to catch the bad guy , the bad guys will have to be right all the time in order not to get caught . The pressure is on them , not on us and they will eventually crack under the pressure “

 

[corrector]

Rejection I can handle. It’s this dancing around it, trying to make me interpret some code bs they do that drives me crazy.

If you are choosing to deal with those types of women it means you have no good options. Its the scarcity mind-set.