"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

Read more...

Rejection is becoming sweeter

Flatnose

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Hey all,

I am a very well preserved, confident 47 year old.

I was in gym today and opened an early twenties cutie at the university gym(I am currently on a post grad course) . She was working on the ab crunch. I was next to her and just said "Hey how you doing" She responded warmly and leaned forward. I then asked her on her session that day and what she was working on. Her English was not that great She then asked me if I knew any ab exercises. I said yup and she followed me to the ab area where I ran her through three exercises. She appeared open and cool and at the last exercise I asked for her number to which she said..."That's not a good idea" but then asked my name, I gave it, I smiled, chalked this one as a loss and walked away giving a some light kino on her shoulder with the back of my hand as I did so and wished her a good time.

A defeat I suppose in that I didn't get the girls number but a victory in the fact that I am really pleased that I have reached a point where rejection just does not hurt half as much as it used to, indeed I now feel a sense of pride when I am rejected.

Any thoughts on how I could have played this better?

Rock on comrades
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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Fatal Jay

Master Don Juan
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It wasn't a defeat, you handled it well

No matter how good your game is and your looks your bound to come across a no

no never phase me anymore,I don't even get no's i always get, can I have your number or I have a boyfriend

One time the i have a bf line didn't even stop me from getting the number
Lol
 

Scaramouche

Master Don Juan
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Dear Flatnose,
I would suggest this Lady is in a relationship,in which case her behaviour is quite normal....You now have a Gym Buddy and if things go Pear shaped with her relationship you will be in a good position to hook up.
 

scrouds

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"I know, but I'm wasn't going to let that stop me"

I always like to push back on any rejection that's not an outright no. You'll be able to tell quickly whether its just a test or learned reflex versus it truly meaning she's not open to moving things forward.
 

Flatnose

Don Juan
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Thx

Encouraging and supportive guys, thanks.

Yup should have perhaps pushed a little harder...but as I am considerably older that she was I guess I didn't want to put her under too much pressure.

However a...'and why not?' would have pushed harder...

Right 'next'! :)
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Boilermaker

Master Don Juan
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Rejection is getting sweeter

Please tell me the trick, I am all ears?
 

The Gambler

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Some gals just aren't into the older guy thing.... Yet... :D

But I digress. It sounds like the two of you spent a bit of time together and both enjoyed it. Your head seems to be in a good place, and its only a matter of time before the next opportunity comes your way. Personally, I'm happily married and not looking for anything on the side -- and I'll be damned if this isn't the reason I communicate better than ever with women. All the stress associated with the "pick up" simply isn't there.

The two of you spent legit time together, and you took your shot at the end. Textbook! Maybe next time, your efforts will pay off with one of those professors who wear glasses and long stockings. ;)
 
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