Rejection Game ( Confidence Improver )

[Gremlin]

Hiya Guys

I am new to the forum and thought i would make a contribution to the forum. Not to sure if this has been said before and if so my apology. I have searched for this and haven't come across it.This is a game that you play with mates at the pub or club. This will help you get use to rejection and not fear it. Your mates and yourself put say 10 $ or £ depends where you are into a hat.

Now what you have do is go round the pub or club and chat up the women! The person that gets the most rejections wins the money. However in the mean time you are also winning because you are learning to chat to the women and you are gaining numbers whichs is a win win sitution. Its also increases your confidence to walk up and chat to any women in the club.

What do you DJ's think?? Any comments are welcome.

Cheers

 

[khanboy]

This is good.

Reminds me of a game that advocates a whole night dedicated to crash & burn. Basically you and your mates go out for the sole purpose of crashing & burning as many times as possible. Works really well, you get used to getting blown out and realize there are some crazy things women will let you get away with. You essentially learn to push the envelope.

 

[Krassus]

I'm thinking of organizing this soon - what's a good place to try this with 3-5 people, where people wouldn't be able to cheat or run into the same girls? I've only done it solo before, but some money would make it a lot more fun, especially if it's $50 each instead of $10!

 

[Gremlin]

This also gives you the chance to try what works the best and what doesn't. So when u move onto the next women you know what doesn't work and leave that out. So when the time comes and u meet Miss Right then u know what to says and what not to say.

Cheers

 

[gav]

i've suggested it a few times, but my mates just don't get it or are too scared to try it

 

[Gremlin]

Gav

Ask your mate is they have any B**ls. If they say yeah they tell them stop being such a p***ies and lets play. Its just a game and whoever wins gets the money. If you add money i am sure they will try there hardest. If that doesn't work get them to down a couple of pints and then i am sure they will be up for anything.

Cheers

 

[Raptured Phoenix]

I was playing basketball while thinkin things over...

I realized what the biggest most important thing was that I missed when I first came to sosuave.com

REJECTION

and dealing with it.

You see, most of the DJ's here do not wish to deal with rejection. In fact, all of the techniques we learn are to minimize the chance of being rejected.

I learned and insane amount of things when I came here, I became INHUMANLY good with girls, all because I did NOT want to be rejected.

Of course, since I had not dealt with the fear of rejection yet, I didn't allow myself to actually feel emotions for the girl. Thusly making any woman I seduced obsolete. What the hell would I do with em if I didn't want them?


I realized today...being a DJ is like shooting hoops. Some shots are easier to make, some shots are IMPOSSIBLE to make, but if you are only enjoying MAKING the shots instead of playing the game you will find yourself not wanting to play at all.

It's time for me to go out and enjoy playing, without focusing on making it.

 

[playa in trainin']

Hey! This is a great game

hey this is a great game! but my friends arent into this sort of thing.. they all have gf's or are too ***** to play a game like this.

maybe we can play this game online with each other instead!
let's be honest.. and the ones who get the most rejection wins!

Here's the link if you wanna join! I'm going to the mall now, and maybe I'll get rejected. Lol..

http://www.sosuave.com/vBulletin/showthread.php?s=&postid=486257#post486257

 

[Ak89]

Yo this was a good idea i might try this at the next party i go too.

 

[Sasu11]

I've heard this idea many times in this forum.
"if you go out and practice getting rejected, you'll build confidence"

B*lls**t

Practice getting rejected and you'll only learn how to get rejected.
Getting rejected LOWERS your confidence!

 

[playa in trainin']

Originally posted by Sasu11
I've heard this idea many times in this forum.
"if you go out and practice getting rejected, you'll build confidence"

B*lls**t

Practice getting rejected and you'll only learn how to get rejected.
Getting rejected LOWERS your confidence!

I disagree. It only persuades you to approach a girl. It gives you initiative.

Nobody likes to get rejected, nobody aims for rejection. But simple interaction wether rejection or approval builds up social skills/confidence. That's jus' my 2cents. Peace.

 

[Sasu11]

Originally posted by playa in trainin'
I disagree. It only persuades you to approach a girl. It gives you initiative.

Nobody likes to get rejected, nobody aims for rejection. But simple interaction wether rejection or approval builds up social skills/confidence. That's jus' my 2cents. Peace.

Hmm, I think SUCCESSFUL interaction builds confidence. And I think the discussion on this thread is aiming toward rejection.

My point is that rather than going to a club or party and hitting on every girl there (and having everyone think you're a complete loser) you should focus on improving yourself, and perhaps just talking to some these girls, rather than trying to pick them up. Unless you genuinely have a chance, if you try to hit on them they'll just turn you down and think you're pathetic, and then you'll feel you're pathetic, and that doesn't build confidence.

Some guys seem to think that if these girls are way out of their league then they'll approach them all and hope just one says 'yes'. Or that if they're only confident enough then girls will overlook all their other negative points.
I think they need to focus becoming more attractive and desirable to women, rather than adding to their rejection list.

When you know you're attractive and desirable confidence naturally follows.

I've eloborated here:
http://www.sosuave.com/vBulletin/showthread.php?s=&threadid=55684

 

[Ever onward]

Hmm, I think SUCCESSFUL interaction builds confidence. And I think the discussion on this thread is aiming toward rejection.

My point is that rather than going to a club or party and hitting on every girl there (and having everyone think you're a complete loser) you should focus on improving yourself, and perhaps just talking to some these girls, rather than trying to pick them up. Unless you genuinely have a chance, if you try to hit on them they'll just turn you down and think you're pathetic, and then you'll feel you're pathetic, and that doesn't build confidence.

Some guys seem to think that if these girls are way out of their league then they'll approach them all and hope just one says 'yes'. Or that if they're only confident enough then girls will overlook all their other negative points.
I think they need to focus becoming more attractive and desirable to women, rather than adding to their rejection list.

When you know you're attractive and desirable confidence naturally follows.

I disagree. I think the biggest problem guys have with meeting women is the fear of rejection. As long as a guy carries this irrational fear with him he will act: awkward, strange, and nervous around women. The point of this exercise is to become desensitized to rejection as suggested in the DJ Bootcamp.

A guy can make up a million excuses why an approach on a HB won't work, if a guy is going for a rejection then this "excuse" no longer applies.

I've actually did this before on spring break a few years back. My friends and I had a blast! Instead of standing around too petrified to talk to women, we would go meet girls, get shot down, meet back up, laugh about it and brag about the number of rejections we got. It was a fun game but once in awhile girls would screw the game up by not rejecting us. Needless to say we weren't afraid to approach girls that night.

But you are right, don't do this in a normal social situation where you are well known. Try bars you normally wouldn't go to.

 

[Sasu11]

Perhaps that fear of rejection is quite a rational fear.

Let me put it this way, if you're an AFC and you hit on a girl, she's still going think you're an AFC and you'll crash and burn. You need to lose the AFC status FIRST, then hit on the girl.

 

[Ever onward]

I'm all about losing the AFC status but the fear is still irrational. Why should a grown man be afraid of a woman who is (usually) much smaller physically. Fear is an emotion that, from an evolutionary stand point, is needed to avoid physical danger. When you approach a woman you are in no physical danger (unless her crazy bf is nearby) so the fear doesn't serve a purpose.

Even the best DJ's on this board have gotten rejected and will continue to be rejected. It is all part of the game. The difference between the AFC and the DJ is the DJ doesn't let the rejection bother him.

 

[Sasu11]

The difference between the AFC and the DJ is the DJ doesn't let the rejection bother him.

That and the DJ gets rejected less often!

You say the fear is irrational. We're not talking about fear of physical danger here, we're talking about fear of being REJECTED. Let's say you're about to approach a reasonably cute woman. Now you know that girls normally don't think you're particularly attractive, and you have track record of frequent rejections. Why wouldn't you rationally fear that there is a HIGH possibility that you'll get rejected this time?

 

[Raptured Phoenix]

Originally posted by Sasu11
That and the DJ gets rejected less often!


Why wouldn't you rationally fear that there is a HIGH possibility that you'll get rejected this time?

Take it from someone who does NOT get rejected. (me)

I developed a whole style of DJing where I might "approach" a girl, but I do not approach her and make her think I am interested in HER, I approach her and let her become interested in ME.

If you get good at this, it eliminates the possibility of rejection!

Is that beneficial necessarily? No.


Because I STILL have a fear of rejection. Although I know logically I will not be rejected (what are the odds of a girl pretending to like me only to reveal she dislikes me once I start liking her, and how would she know when I truelly liked her or not?)

I still can't let myself LIKE GIRLS because I have an irrational fear of them not liking me back, EVEN IF THEY GIVE ALL THE SIGNS OF LIKING ME, EVEN ADMITING IT.


I gave my basketball example earlier, let me use it again to explain how this game works.

Let's pretend we are playing basketball, as a newbie, you want to score as many goals as possible, and everytime you shoot, you miss more times than you make it.

Let's say you shoot at the goal, with high hopes of making it, you miss. You feel a sinking feeling in yourgut. You take the ball again, and throw it again.

You miss.

You feel even worse.

You take the ball and go back inside and never play basketball.


You COULD come back and stand under the rim and throw the ball in from two feet away, "Hey im making it!" you might say.

You can go start a workout routine to get in shape, and improve yourself all you can, but the only way you are going to get better is by doing it. There is no way you are going to make the 3point shots unless you go back there and start missing.

And thats what this game is about. Getting to the point where missing and makin it is..just playing the game.

As long as your having fun running around with the ball, who cares whether you miss or make it?

Same with this game, if your having fun being a DJ, who cares whether you get the girl or not? There will be plenty more of them. You gain confidance from realizing your source of confidance doesn't come from females.

 

[playa in trainin']

Originally posted by Raptured Phoenix
Take it from someone who does NOT get rejected. (me)

I developed a whole style of DJing where I might "approach" a girl, but I do not approach her and make her think I am interested in HER, I approach her and let her become interested in ME.

If you get good at this, it eliminates the possibility of rejection!

Is that beneficial necessarily? No.


Because I STILL have a fear of rejection. Although I know logically I will not be rejected (what are the odds of a girl pretending to like me only to reveal she dislikes me once I start liking her, and how would she know when I truelly liked her or not?)

I still can't let myself LIKE GIRLS because I have an irrational fear of them not liking me back, EVEN IF THEY GIVE ALL THE SIGNS OF LIKING ME, EVEN ADMITING IT.


I gave my basketball example earlier, let me use it again to explain how this game works.

Let's pretend we are playing basketball, as a newbie, you want to score as many goals as possible, and everytime you shoot, you miss more times than you make it.

Let's say you shoot at the goal, with high hopes of making it, you miss. You feel a sinking feeling in yourgut. You take the ball again, and throw it again.

You miss.

You feel even worse.

You take the ball and go back inside and never play basketball.


You COULD come back and stand under the rim and throw the ball in from two feet away, "Hey im making it!" you might say.

You can go start a workout routine to get in shape, and improve yourself all you can, but the only way you are going to get better is by doing it. There is no way you are going to make the 3point shots unless you go back there and start missing.

And thats what this game is about. Getting to the point where missing and makin it is..just playing the game.

As long as your having fun running around with the ball, who cares whether you miss or make it?

Same with this game, if your having fun being a DJ, who cares whether you get the girl or not? There will be plenty more of them. You gain confidance from realizing your source of confidance doesn't come from females.

Good analogy.. Oh and this quote fits here quite well... "You miss 100% of the shots you do not take" So you might as well give it a shot..

 

[Ever onward]

quote:
------------------------------------------------------------------------
The difference between the AFC and the DJ is the DJ doesn't let the rejection bother him.
------------------------------------------------------------------------

That and the DJ gets rejected less often!

You say the fear is irrational. We're not talking about fear of physical danger here, we're talking about fear of being REJECTED. Let's say you're about to approach a reasonably cute woman. Now you know that girls normally don't think you're particularly attractive, and you have track record of frequent rejections. Why wouldn't you rationally fear that there is a HIGH possibility that you'll get rejected this time?

The only thing you are risking is your ego. The point of the exercise it to numb yourself to the pain of being rejected. A DJ's ego should not be based on if a girl rejects him or not but instead be validated by his own life.

 

[finesse]

REjection.... its a gu thing, well for me anyway, a chick rejects me her big lose jus giv me the boost i sometimes crave to go do more cold approachs......... its not all bad jus enjoy it
dumb ass chicks