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Rejected? Should I keep persisting? Getting back in the game (need clarity)

Lover_boy

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Hello everyone, so after getting dumped back in June and putting in the work this entire time of making myself a better man, I am finally facing my approach anxiety and just doing it. Some have been awkward, some didn't respond after number closing, and some I have actually dated. However, today I was at whole foods and I spotted this really cute HB8. She is a worker at whole foods and she was in an aisle putting away products. I went up to her with a cheesy pick up line but it got her to laugh and open up. I asked her where she was from and she was actually born in the same country as I was but her family and background from are from Colombia.

Long story short, the conversation was flowing, she asked questions, and engaged in the conversation. Towards the end of the convo I asked "so what do you usually do after work" She said "ooo I have a bf" I proceed it with "really, so how serious is it". She said she's been dating this dude for 6 years and that he asked her to marry him but she said no because she doesnt want to commit and get married at such a young age (she's 20 yo). After teasing her a bit more and trying again for the number she said "I can't really give out my number at work" I said, "well how about you just give it to me and I pretend I'm doing something on my phone". A customer then came up to her and asked her where a product was, after standing there while she was talking to the customer, looking at my empty phone. I said it was nice meeting you and walked away.

My question is, this is clearly a rejection right ? But a soft friendly rejection... Would it be ok to go back and continue flirting with her ? At what point can a man persist in a woman if she clearly gave some IOI's and at what point does it come off as creepy.
 

DEEZEDBRAH

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When a girl says bf, it's like you hit a pot hole in your BMW. Might yell **** but you keep driving. Just for sport. In reality, women are *****s who won't mention a hubby or bf. They just fly out to visit Tate like the skank who's officially now getting a divorce. Classic +
 

RangerMIke

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First let me say, good job for putting in the effort. You miss 100% of the shots you don't take. But I do have some comments submitted for consideration. But really.... outstanding that you are approaching.

She is a worker at whole foods and she was in an aisle putting away products.
I avoid hitting on woman that are working. First this happens to them all the time so you are really not being different... also it is really hard to read her body language in situations like this because it is her job to be nice to you so you really can't read too much into her behavior in these circumstances.

I went up to her with a cheesy pick up line but it got her to laugh and open up.
Don't use cheesy pick up lines, she's heard it all before and it's boring.

Long story short, the conversation was flowing, she asked questions, and engaged in the conversation.
Small talk, no 'conversation' when you first meet a woman. Get in, figure out if you think she is attracted to you, get her number of just come out and ask her out. Then move on.

Towards the end of the convo I asked "so what do you usually do after work"
Don't do this... just ask her out. Be specific, time/place/activity. Find out if she is in our out. If she is attracted to you she will give you her number of say yes, unless she is a damaged crazy chick.

She said "ooo I have a bf" I proceed it with "really, so how serious is it". She said she's been dating this dude for 6 years and that he asked her to marry him but she said no because she doesnt want to commit and get married at such a young age (she's 20 yo).
All woman have some kind of BF or orbiters floating on the periphery. When they mention the BF, it's not a good sign especially if it comes out of left field like this. When this happens she is either not interested or she isn't available. Just move on.

After teasing her a bit more and trying again for the number she said "I can't really give out my number at work" I said, "well how about you just give it to me and I pretend I'm doing something on my phone".
Too much d1ck dancing around, you got your answer... she's not available, you just tell her her boy friend is a lucky guy and move on.

My question is, this is clearly a rejection right ? But a soft friendly rejection... Would it be ok to go back and continue flirting with her ? At what point can a man persist in a woman if she clearly gave some IOI's and at what point does it come off as creepy.
It's a rejection... do not persist, do not chase, if you run into her again in a few months, go ahead and try again. But do not plan that anything is going to change. You are done, move on.
 

characternote

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she mentioned the boyfriend. Whether he exists or not is kinda of irrelevant. She's not interested. It's a rejection. No big deal.

I used to play around with all kinds of 'boyfriend destroyer' PUA lines and stuff and they occasionally got a laugh but it never played out as advertised.

And good job!
 

2Rocky

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Well said Mike...

OP keep at it. You're on the right track. Be ready for the woman who shows clear and present interest. and don't say WHOA in that horse race....
 

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eli77

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First how old are you .If i had to do it again I would say aim high!!!!.Congrats for coming this far brother.
 

rjc149

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My 2 go-to responses to "I have a boyfriend":

"How long have you had that problem?"

(If you've asked her out) "Oh cool, he can come along!"

These will usually make her laugh.

Then a good-natured smile, and "well, it was nice meeting you. See you around."

The tendency here is that the next encounter with her will be warmer, and you may notice her in your direct proximity again sometime later in the evening. If she's someone you see and chat with routinely, she may mention problems with the boyfriend.

A lot of times, it's not whether or not you get initially rejected that determines your chances with a woman, it's how you handle it.

Just remember, if you can peel her off another man, some other man will peel her off you.
 

Lover_boy

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First let me say, good job for putting in the effort. You miss 100% of the shots you don't take. But I do have some comments submitted for consideration. But really.... outstanding that you are approaching.

I avoid hitting on woman that are working. First this happens to them all the time so you are really not being different... also it is really hard to read her body language in situations like this because it is her job to be nice to you so you really can't read too much into her behavior in these circumstances.

Don't use cheesy pick up lines, she's heard it all before and it's boring.

Small talk, no 'conversation' when you first meet a woman. Get in, figure out if you think she is attracted to you, get her number of just come out and ask her out. Then move on.

Don't do this... just ask her out. Be specific, time/place/activity. Find out if she is in our out. If she is attracted to you she will give you her number of say yes, unless she is a damaged crazy chick.

All woman have some kind of BF or orbiters floating on the periphery. When they mention the BF, it's not a good sign especially if it comes out of left field like this. When this happens she is either not interested or she isn't available. Just move on.

Too much d1ck dancing around, you got your answer... she's not available, you just tell her her boy friend is a lucky guy and move on.

It's a rejection... do not persist, do not chase, if you run into her again in a few months, go ahead and try again. But do not plan that anything is going to change. You are done, move on.
Thanks a lot man, yeah now that I think of it she was probably being nice at work. But I have pulled a couple servers at restaurants so it’s a hit or a miss. Definitely won’t chase, I think being red pill aware is understanding that this is a numbers game. Even though this chic was hot, it served as good practice.
 

SW15

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she mentioned the boyfriend. Whether he exists or not is kinda of irrelevant. She's not interested. It's a rejection. No big deal.

I used to play around with all kinds of 'boyfriend destroyer' PUA lines and stuff and they occasionally got a laugh but it never played out as advertised.

And good job!
First let me say, good job for putting in the effort. You miss 100% of the shots you don't take. But I do have some comments submitted for consideration. But really.... outstanding that you are approaching.

All woman have some kind of BF or orbiters floating on the periphery. When they mention the BF, it's not a good sign especially if it comes out of left field like this. When this happens she is either not interested or she isn't available. Just move on.
Yes, good job @Lover_boy! I recommend using "boyfriend destroyer" lines. If you have to use a "boyfriend destroyer" line, you're operating from a difficult position. They don't work all too well but there is the off chance that they actually work. I haven't received an "IHAB" excuse in a long time so I'm thinking women are getting better at making up excuses.

I avoid hitting on woman that are working. First this happens to them all the time so you are really not being different... also it is really hard to read her body language in situations like this because it is her job to be nice to you so you really can't read too much into her behavior in these circumstances.
I agree with this. With women who work with the public, you need to meet them outside of their workplaces. Realize that most men who work white collar jobs don't have these types of women in their social circles naturally. You'll often have to make extra effort to cultivate it.

Don't do this... just ask her out. Be specific, time/place/activity. Find out if she is in our out. If she is attracted to you she will give you her number of say yes, unless she is a damaged crazy chick.
Agree!
 

Lover_boy

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Yes, good job @Lover_boy! I recommend using "boyfriend destroyer" lines. If you have to use a "boyfriend destroyer" line, you're operating from a difficult position. They don't work all too well but there is the off chance that they actually work. I haven't received an "IHAB" excuse in a long time so I'm thinking women are getting better at making up excuses.
interesting, do you recommend any good “bf destroyer“ lines ? I’d use them just to keep stepping into tension with chics. Ive recently gotten the “I’m married“ rejection. I said ahh dang, so any chance of a divorce ? Lol
 

Willie Naylor

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interesting, do you recommend any good “bf destroyer“ lines ? I’d use them just to keep stepping into tension with chics. Ive recently gotten the “I’m married“ rejection. I said ahh dang, so any chance of a divorce ? Lol
Her: I have a boyfriend/am married.

You: I don't mind. He can come along too.
 

SW15

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interesting, do you recommend any good “bf destroyer“ lines ? I’d use them just to keep stepping into tension with chics. Ive recently gotten the “I’m married“ rejection. I said ahh dang, so any chance of a divorce ? Lol
Google "boyfriend destroyer lines". There are also some SoSuave threads on them.

One I like is...

Woman: I have a boyfriend
Me: I have a gold fish
Women: Huh?
Me: We're talking about stuff that is meaningless.

Then I push forward with other seduction tactics.

I got an "I'm married" rejection once. I didn't push that one too much, but your divorce line isn't a good one.

When you use a "boyfriend destroyer" line or a push back to a married woman, you want to humorously hit at her insecurities about her current relationship.
 
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Lover_boy

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Google "boyfriend destroyer lines". There are also some SoSuave threads on them.

One I like is...

Woman: I have a boyfriend
Me: I have a gold fish
Women: Huh?
Me: We're talking about stuff that is meaningless.

Then I push forward with escalating.

I got an "I'm married" rejection once. I didn't push that one too much, but your divorce line isn't a good one.

When you use a "boyfriend destroyer" line or a push back to a married woman, you want to humorously hit at her insecurities about her current relationship.
Makes since, it’s kinda like a neg hit on her relationship.

with this particular chic, her bf asked her to marry her and they’ve been together for 6 years. She said no to him tho.... according to her story ....
 

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EyeOnThePrize

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"I have a boyfriend."
'I have a math test.'
"...what?"
'Oh sorry, I thought we were talking about things we want to cheat on.'

But in all seriousness if a bf is brought up it's already a sign of low interest. Girls that are interested try to avoid bringing their bf up. You're right to think the girl asking questions back shows interest, so maybe you were on a good track and said something that irked her. Either way, chalk it up as a lesson and on to the next!

If you want a very easy environment to practice in just take a yoga or dancing class or something similar that would have girls. You'll see the same girls every week or multiple times a week, so building rapport is easy and there's less time pressure to close.
 

Velasco

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If you want a very easy environment to practice in just take a yoga or dancing class or something similar that would have girls. You'll see the same girls every week or multiple times a week, so building rapport is easy and there's less time pressure to close
Yes so this admits the strength in social circle game over cold approach game. In that you can get sexually unavailable girls you met via cold approach, this way.
 

jimwho

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with this particular chic, her bf asked her to marry her and they’ve been together for 6 years. She said no to him tho.... according to her story ....
He's been her boyfriend since she was 14. That's a first love, and if she's not marrying him now then it's not happening.
Definitely give her a wave and a smile next time. But that's it..
 

biggoal

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So I hear the latest craze with women is to wear fake engagement rings when out and about to avoid guys hitting on them.

What's everyone's take on this?
 

characternote

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"I have a boyfriend."
'I have a math test.'
"...what?"
'Oh sorry, I thought we were talking about things we want to cheat on.'

But in all seriousness if a bf is brought up it's already a sign of low interest.
yep. As I say, i've played around with tonnes of the usual PUA boyfriend lines. ''how long have you had that problem?'', ''I have a gold fish. Are we just naming things that don't matter to the convo?'' etc etc. They can sound cool to noobs but I don't think i've ever seen it 'work' for a PUA in an infield . It might get a smile. It doesn't 'destroy' anything though lol. If she was interested in you, he wouldn't be brought up in the first place. Just move on and don't waste time on girls who aren't into you

I haven't received an "IHAB" excuse in a long time so I'm thinking women are getting better at making up excuses.
Funny as i've noticed that too. Where I live, they now just seem to be super blunt and typically just say ''Sorry, you're not my type. have a good night'' (I only do night game nowadays). They don't even pretend to have a bf. Doesn't even need to be a direct opener to get that reaction haha

There are of course lines and techniques to try to get around that 'objection' too, similar to the boyfriend destroyer stuff. But just like teh boyfriend destroyer, it's not going to actually help you lol

John anthony for example will have a different 'destroyer line' for each 'objection;' (such as 'you're not my type'). He'd say something like 'who said anything about types? I'm just out having fun. Same as you are'' and then in THEORY ask for small compliance like asking her to move a few meters, and increase the compliance hoops all the way to sex. But as i say, he's a compulsive liar and that's all just 'theory'. In reality, you're still not her type and she will reject your attempt at compliance as soon as it gets too a certain point.
 
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