rejected... bummed

[t510]

Hi

So I got rejected by the girl I was talking about in my last post. I wasn't getting much interest (ie not returning phone call etc) and I asked her out again and she said she ll be out of town. Didn't offer another day or anything. I just wrote her back asking how the last date went and if she's not interested (I know completely stupid but I just gave up)

This really sucks. She wasn't even that hot but I was into her personality.

No more giving the girl the upper hand in relationships. The only time I seem to have luck is when I know forsure the girl is into me. Like they make it obvious.

Anyone have any advice? I know I have alot of learning to do. I'm really bummed out right now.

 

[Renegade357]

Don't take it personally dude and def don't get stuck on it. You don't know what's going on in this girl's life especially with her boyfriend. Just move to the next.

 

[msi]

Do something to take your mind off of it, it's the only way.

The benefit of rejection is that once you're rejected enough, you sort of become immune to it because the reality is that it's her loss. At the same time, it's good to be a little self-critical (but remember we all make mistakes) and try to correct anything you didn't like for next time. Asking her about the date and if she's interested is a little bit needy. I would just assume she had a good time and is interested. And if she's not, oh well.

I would say that a girl will only offer an alternative date if she's super interested. If there is any warmth to a girl declining an invite, then just relax. Maybe she really is going out of town? Maybe she doesn't know when she's free next... it's not a big deal unless you're just trying to get sex, in which case just go talk to another girl.

Think about it... your buddy texts you, says to meet him for a drink. You're writing a paper due next Wednesday, and next Friday you're busy. You can't meet your buddy tonight. Are you really going to say, "well I'm swamped tonight but how about next Thursday?" No, you're going to say "sorry man I can't tonight. I've got a lot to do." Or alternatively, you're going to say "some other time." A girl might be too shy to suggest an alternative, or maybe she thinks you will, or who knows, who cares, if you like her just ask her again in a week.

I have learned a lot from the posters on this site, but I really think some people here are too quick to write a girl off and a lot of us tend to over-analyze **** and look for "IOIs" and "IODs" and all this other crap. Seriously, who cares what she thinks. If you want to ask her out, ask her out. If she doesn't want to take the time to see just how cool of a person you are, too bad for her.

 

[LittleBigOne]

Don´t take such ´rejection´ too personal. She might have been in a bad mood or is having personal problems and yes maybe you are not the guy she is looking for (without trying to get to know you). I always think about restaurants: does the owner of a restaurant really mind if you pass by and you decide to try another restaurant? No, because you didn´t try his restaurant so you can´t judge the place and there will be enough other people who are gonna try the restaraunt.
Don´t fall in love too soon, then you can handle such situations much easier. Give it one more try with this girl by asking her to go somewhere (a concert or something like that.) If she denies you once more then just move one and be glad she was straight.

 

[marmel75]

I never get rejected, I only find out if a woman has good taste...

 

[foreverAFC]

"I asked her out again and she said she ll be out of town."

good times

 

[Purefilth]

I never get rejected, I only find out if a woman has good taste...

Nice I'm gonna save that in my happy place