"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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Rejected a girl, now I am feeling guilty, even though I still don't like her......

BonesAndBones

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Hi.

There is this girl at work, who has had a crush on me for quite a while. My friends even told me that, and one of them even seriously suggested that I take her out. I've heard people mentioning her and my name in a conversation. Aside from people mentioning her a few times, I never brought up this topic.

Problem is, I don't feel attracted to her at all, and I don't like either her looks or personality. To be honest, I didn't really want to talk with her even before I knew she had a crush on me. I don't even like her friends, with whom she is hanging out with (one of them was bothering me for a long while). Maybe I come off as a vain person, but I really don't want anything to do either with her or her friends, because her friends are a bunch of really unlikable people.

I may have to add that I am extremely shy, and I have to admit that I have a social anxiety of some sorts. You may think that it's the cause of the reason why I don't like her, but it's not.

So, one day she comes up to me, and she asks me why am I so quiet, and if I even do have a girl. I didn't reply. After that, she said that she gave me an obvious hint. I didn't reply. She was not very pleased. Later, during the lunch break, I heard her friends saying to each other about how I cannot understand that she likes me. Well, contrary to what they said, I understood that quite clearly.

I felt kinda bad afterwards, so I invited her on Facebook. No, it was not because I wanted to show off, but I wanted to give her a slight friendly jest.
I gave her a few awkward ''hi's'' during work, and a decent amount of awkward smiles. After a few weeks, she asked me why I never talk to her, and what she did suggested that she was again giving me those obvious hints. Again, I didn't respond.

A week later, she told me that I am a very weird guy, because I smile all the time without a reason. The last time I had any contact with her, she asked me if I am losing my marbles, and if I'm becoming insane. After that, I didn't reply to her greetings, and neither did I give her any.

So, how should I proceed? I was never attracted to her in the first place, and she seems kinda hurt. If I would try to chat with her, she would assume that I would want to spend time with her. I'm kinda in the crossroads with my conscience, even though I have no shame in admitting that I have dodged a bullet. What are your thoughts about this?
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Demonicale

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Feb 7, 2009
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Either you **** her, or you don't. But be clear with her if you don't like her. Nothing worse than a guy or girl who don't have the confidence to tell someone they aren't interested.

Why? because you give false hope to them if you don't.
 

hudpes

Senior Don Juan
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Jul 5, 2014
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Do you like challenges that make you grow personally? Then be friendly with her (and others) until they make it impossible. If she will make advancements so large they can't be ignored simply tell her sorry, I'm seeing someone right now. I really wouldn't recommend you giving her an honest - I don't find you attractive and I don't like you.
 

Cremasta

Master Don Juan
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Australia
Extremely shy or not, you might want to work on that whole 'not replying' thing you've got happening.

Small talk can be a pain in the arse, but at least try, if only for practice when you do meet girls you like.
 
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