Regardless of Location, It's Still the Same Old Dating Game-It Never Changes

[taiyuu_otoko]

Sex is the easiest thing in the world to get and thousands of girls turn 18 on a daily basis. You can always start fresh so no need to sweat.

That's one thing I LOVE about getting older. I keep getting older, more experienced, more confidence, but through some feat of universal magic that I can't begin to understand....

High School Girls Are Always The Same Age!

 

[Frank2500]

Re:

Maybe if you also look somewhat younger than your actual age, I don't know how much if any of a role that could play but many people including women often think I'm kidding when I tell them I'm 35. Most give me between the 25-29 age range. Maybe doing a lot of sports contributes as well.

 

[yyc12]

Sounds like you and Backbreaker are getting approached based on your looks, style, and how you present and carry yourself, not because you are ignoring women. An average looking, average dressed fellow going about his business probably wouldn't have drawn interest from this girl at all.

Don't get me wrong, I play this indifferent game myself. If I see an exceptionally attractive girl entering my circle of influence, I always pretend not to notice her at first. Mainly, I do this because I don't want to give her the satisfaction of her knowing that I notice her beauty. Instead, I busy myself with interaction with the other girls in the group.

There's nothing wrong with the indifference play, but I have yet to be convinced that it is any more effective than going up to her right away, being friendly, and introducing yourself. Especially if you are a hot guy and are likely to get noticed anyway. You can push/pull from there if you like.

I think my experiences are the same. I've been part of many social circles and every single time I'm always "aloof" or mysterious or whatever, but it's just my nature. At MOST, what will happen is a woman will wonder why you're always so reserved and ask a thing or two about you but THAT'S IT!! The rest of the time, they'll just ignore you and just assume that you don't want to talk to them. Other times, they'll just assume you're stuck up or have no social skills and will likely tell others that. It's not like they're getting their pvssy wet over you not talking to them. Again, the only time this happens is if you're highly physically attractive and maybe can somehow, someway demonstrate a higher value than the other men around.

Another thing to think about is the quality of woman as well. I'm sure an attention wh0re will want to bait you into her web then drop you once she gets what she wants. An otherwise normal women probably would have no need for this. A good woman will probably either think nothing of your indifference or might even approach you depending on the setting.

In my experience, the guys that have the most success are the ones that are GENUINELY outgoing and warm and have a natural curiosity about other PEOPLE, not just the "hot chicks", and aren't doing it because SS or some PUA crap says so.

 

[Bokanovsky]

2. good looking as i may be...

How many times are you going to say that you are good looking? You've said it three times it this thread alone (and in literally hundreds of other threads). No offence, but you sound like you are really insecure about your looks, which is why you keep bringing them up. Sometimes I wonder if you might actually be a woman.

 

[Boilermaker]

How many times are you going to say that you are good looking? You've said it three times it this thread alone (and in literally hundreds of other threads). No offence, but you sound like you are really insecure about your looks, which is why you keep bringing them up. Sometimes I wonder if you might actually be a woman.

Good point. Let me try to answer that. First, let's clip a few lines of a recent post:

i do think my dress style draws attention more than my looks . I mean, i am in shape so that draws attention, positive attention but style i think is waht really brings it home. your style tells more about you than your genetics [boiler's note: Not really. But I understand why you want to believe that..] My style tells women I'm well put together, classy, neat, mainline but not macho, very detail oriented

People who are so full of themselves can be categorized into two types.

i) People who have constantly been praised by their parents, and peers due to concrete achievements and who have distinct differences (innate or acquired) from the rest. These people have supreme confidence in themselves, and they are usually over achievers.

Examples of this type of narcissists include, Charlie Sheen, George Clooney, the average rock star, Larry Ellison (CEO of Oracle) , Steve Jobs and so on... You can spot these guys easily, and you may get mad at them but it's hard to crack their shell - they have somehow earned the right, after all. They tend to be highly smart, accomplished, cynical and sarcastic. They seek more sophisticated ways to cultivate attention, they do not like to praise themselves openly, they despise flattery. They also develop feelings of envy -- if they see a successful competitor. They want to *be* that person. Think about Steve Jobs vs. Gates, for instance.

ii) The second type narcissists consists of people who have constantly been put down, criticized and challenged by their parents and peers - especially in their defining years. Severe physical and environmental limitations (shortness, baldness, feelings of insecurity, strict and uncompromising fathers) open up huge holes in their psyche. These people are easily hurt, they constantly feel the need to praise themselves ( or hear it from others) to make-up for their perceived deficiencies (rebound effect, attention craving, approval seeking).They are prone to become pathological liars, changing stories, distorting memories all for the purpose of projecting themselves more favorably. Their methods of seeking attention typically is less sophisticated than Type-I narcissists. They indulge in flattery; in the hopes of receiving it themselves. They are not as successful as the type-I's, they lack the real confidence that is needed to soar in life.

One shining example of a type-II narcissist is our very own backbreaker. You'll get the pattern after reading several of his self-portrait flavored essays.

 

[zekko]

I think my experiences are the same. I've been part of many social circles and every single time I'm always "aloof" or mysterious or whatever, but it's just my nature.

I tend to be naturally aloof also. This is one reason I get irritated so easily with PUA advice. PUA theory seems to start with the assumption that you are like an eager dog AFC slobbering all over the woman. Then 1/2 the advice seems to center around having you create some distance from her. But I pretty much know for a fact I would be more successful with women if I were less aloof, not moreso.

It's not like they're getting their pvssy wet over you not talking to them. Again, the only time this happens is if you're highly physically attractive and maybe can somehow, someway demonstrate a higher value than the other men around.

Right.

In my experience, the guys that have the most success are the ones that are GENUINELY outgoing and warm and have a natural curiosity about other PEOPLE, not just the "hot chicks", and aren't doing it because SS or some PUA crap says so.

That's a type of natural. Guys who draw people to them with natural charisma are going to have more success than a guy ignoring people. Unfortunately, I'm not always very interested in other people, unless they catch my attention somehow. When I was younger and working on my social skills, I would force myself to talk to people. But now that I've long since conquered my shyness, I don't feel the need, and I do what I feel like, which is more often than not being aloof.

How many times are you going to say that you are good looking?

Well, it is relevant in this thread, at least.

 

[typical]

That's one thing I LOVE about getting older. I keep getting older, more experienced, more confidence, but through some feat of universal magic that I can't begin to understand....

High School Girls Are Always The Same Age!

Actually women stay the same age their entire life, they are stuck at the age of 15, doesn't matter how smart and educated they are they all think and behave like a bunch of school girls ALL THE TIME.

They put up a act of being "grown up and mature" but they are all still little girls, right now I work as a manager in a place that has many good looking women working. Whenever a good looking chap comes in or me and my management team take a stroll through the place every single one of them behaves like a bunch of girls that have just met the schools winning sports team.

 

[Frank2500]

Re: The Role of Gyms

Another thing that seems to play quite a role regardless of location is the gym, based on what I've noticed here as well in Central Africa. I see the same thing I used to experience when I was in the US. It appears as if a good majority of women who are perceived to be the hot types find gyms rather indispensable. The ones who love attention and seek to be noticed-you see them using the bikes, treadmils, etc. as if really somewhat obsessed with maintaining a certain physical build/look to remain attractive. These past two weekends I've noticed two females, a hot one with a somewhat average looking one who are always together. They work out together and leave the gym together. They both seem like they couldn't be older than the 23-24 year old range and are fully conscious of the attention and notice they're getting from a lot of the guys who workout there. What do they do? Of course they act like they're just ignoring all of the guys and seem to be enjoying it.

 

[Burroughs]

Another thing that seems to play quite a role regardless of location is the gym, based on what I've noticed here as well in Central Africa. I see the same thing I used to experience when I was in the US. It appears as if a good majority of women who are perceived to be the hot types find gyms rather indispensable. The ones who love attention and seek to be noticed-you see them using the bikes, treadmils, etc. as if really somewhat obsessed with maintaining a certain physical build/look to remain attractive. These past two weekends I've noticed two females, a hot one with a somewhat average looking one who are always together. They work out together and leave the gym together. They both seem like they couldn't be older than the 23-24 year old range and are fully conscious of the attention and notice they're getting from a lot of the guys who workout there. What do they do? Of course they act like they're just ignoring all of the guys and seem to be enjoying it.

Of course they enjoy it...

Its an expression of raw power on the woman's part

why wouldn't she enjoy it

question is why have men allowed it?

As men we want the puzzy morning, noon, and night....we should just slap a pricetag on women...claim ownership and be done with it.

..like our male ancestors did.

then go back to building society....chasing women is not a virtue....but the elites have turned it into one to waste our time

once men owned women...today men beg women

 

[Frank2500]

Re: Met a Big Booty Lady On the Street

Yesterday I made a move on a woman I saw walking down the street. She got off a cab and had on a yellow top and a pair of brown spandex-type pants. Her hips were so big and shapely that I couldn't resist it. And when she turned around I noticed her ass was ridiculously big too. I just couldn't let her go. I caught up with her and did my thing and she gave me her number, so we'll see.

 

[Mike32ct]

I tend to be naturally aloof also. This is one reason I get irritated so easily with PUA advice. PUA theory seems to start with the assumption that you are like an eager dog AFC slobbering all over the woman. Then 1/2 the advice seems to center around having you create some distance from her. But I pretty much know for a fact I would be more successful with women if I were less aloof, not moreso.

^This.

I'm very naturally aloof. I've always been that way. It doesn't make me a puss-magnet; I assure you of that lol.

I'm not a guy "who is too nice" either. I'm polite and respectful, yet distant/detached enough to never kiss anybody's a$s.

I would probably be MORE successful as a textbook AFC nice guy symp chode (insert your favorite term) by being sweet, complimentary, etc. and more outgoing.

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

I'm very naturally aloof. I've always been that way. It doesn't make me a puss-magnet; I assure you of that lol.

I'm not a guy "who is too nice" either. I'm polite and respectful, yet distant/detached enough to never kiss anybody's a$s.

I would probably be MORE successful as a textbook AFC nice guy symp chode (insert your favorite term) by being sweet, complimentary, etc. and more outgoing.

It's kind of like fishing with lures in a small to medium sized lake. You've got to have a decent looking lure. You've got to cast it out there. Let it sit there long enough to get the attention of all the fish, and then slowly reel it in. The one's that are hungriest will bite.

To catch a girl it's basically the same process. First she has to notice you. Then she has to be attracted to you. Then you pull back, and get her to follow you.

The tough part is being ballsy enough to make an impression, and confident enough to pull back.

Now, some guys are just good looking enough to be able to walk into a room and attract sufficient attention. Others have to make some moves, start some conversations first.


Others are attractive enough, ballsy enough to get that first bit of attention, but then are too needy to let go.

(Incidentally, this is why really attractive guys can be the biggest AFC's in the world, they can attract the attention, but never ever pull back for fear of losing her, and become dependent)

The problem with online instruction, and courses on seduction is they try to be "one size fits all."

Some guys need help approaching. Some guys need help creating attraction after the approach. Some guys need help being able to "pull away" once they've established attraction. Some guys pull away too quick too fast, and need to periodically "reestablish" that initial attraction.

It's a fun game. The only way to get better is to keep playing and playing and playing.

Naturally, this works just as well within a relationship as it does with cold walkups.

Create attraction, pull back, get her to chase, reward her if she does, establish attraction and pull back again if she doesn't.

Lotta fish out there.

 

[Frank2500]

Re: You Get a Bit Tired of this Game the Older You Get

What I'm starting to see though is that at least based on my own experience, even if you don't lose your social skills and your game, you start to get tired of this whole game as you get older. When you hit your thirties, you become more mature, more wiser, your outlook on things is a bit broader and sometimes you just don't have as much patience at all if for instance you begin to notice that a woman expects you to "work extremely hard" to get her. You know you've been there and done that so many times from your late teens to your 20s in college and you just have much less tolerance for unnecessary complications.




I do agree 100% that it really does seem as if for some reason, women are drawn to guys who get their numbers but don't call them or who don't seem at all to be dying for their attention as is the case with other men. It's lie you become a mystery, someone whom they really want to discover at all costs.



I had mentioned in one of my posts a long time ago about how a woman who had most likely been noticing me in the area around where I work finally approached me using a flyer as an instrument to start a conversation. I wasn't surprised when she did. Each time I used to cross the street I noticed her eyes used to follow me around but I always acted as if I wasn't seeing all of that. And the day she finally took the courage to approach me after noticing me for almost two months, I noticed quite some nervousness in her voice. She's actually been the one calling me more often than not. I believe I've called her just once.



This brings me to another point: this whole thing is sometimes in many ways like playing a lottery. Sometimes, (like in the case of the woman I've just been talking about) it ends up being the women you're not attracted to who hit on you, while those whom you really want expect you to work hard to get them, even if the signs may be pointing to the fact that they too may have noticed you. I've had a 50-50 experience in that domain of being hit on by women whom you really do feel attracted to versus by those whom you don't really consider your kind of ladies in terms of physical attraction.

 

[zekko]

I do agree 100% that it really does seem as if for some reason, women are drawn to guys who get their numbers but don't call them or who don't seem at all to be dying for their attention as is the case with other men. It's lie you become a mystery, someone whom they really want to discover at all costs.

I don't think it's about mystery so much, but about hypergamy. Women want men of greater value than themselves, they want strong guys that they can look up to (at least that's what they are biologically drawn to). Practically by definition, such a man isn't going to be drooling all over her acting like he won the lottery just by meeting her. That's why women often get turned off by guys who go too crazy over them. They want you to invest in them, they just don't want you to turn to goo while doing it. It's almost the opposite of what men what, in many ways.

I've read a few things about how the male role is to be the pursuer, and the female role is to filter for the best man. If women are attracted to the masculine, and the masculine role is to approach, then women will be attracted to the mere act of approaching, because it shows boldness, confidence, and masculinity.

Of course then on the other hand they will say "Don't pursue, make them chase you". It's like the pickup gurus tell you both possibilities at once, and then when either one of them works, they stand there and say "See, I told you".

 

[Frank2500]

Re:

@Zekko:I hear you, bro. It's quite amazing at times. In places like gyms for instance, where women get to see you on a regular basis, in as much as they may consider it masculine and confident when a male who is bold enough to approach them...it could also work against that male if he doesn't have a game plan. If he doesn't somehow get the woman or women he's interested in to notice him, he could easily get turned down if he approached them on the very first day he noticed them. In other words, he has to act uninterested for a set period of time while finding a way to get the woman of his interest to notice him before he then goes ahead and makes a move.


That being said, I do get the sense that as you grow older and get to be for instance in your 30s, several aspects of the dating game become so predictable and routine and you begin to seek women with a little more depth who could have a bit more to bring to the table than just the superficial "I'm hot..men run after me. What have you got?" Anyway, I do have my date today with my big booty lady. I'm anxious to see if her ass is really as big as it looked that day or whether it was just the pants she had on that influenced their shape.