Refuses to answer question! (WTF?)

[ucmedv8]

Background:

This girl was shooting me tons of messages on Facebook, so I figured she was interested due to the quality of the messages. I get her number and we text back and fourth, making her laugh all the while. We ended up hanging out with some friends at a pub one night, but I got way to drunk and it killed my game. But, she said she had a lot of fun and wanted to hangout again. She ends up inviting me to comedy show on a monday night, just me and her. I'm making her laugh all night and we had a wonderful time and she tells me that she would love to hangout again. The kind of questions she asked indicated that she was interested. The next day I text her to invite her to go indoor rock climbing. She texts back like she's all excited and can't wait to go. Thursday rolls around and she texts me that she is too beat to go rock climbing, but offers to get drinks with a friend later on that night. I end up getting drinks on the other side of town because she text me a bit late, but she says (in a text) that she wants me to help her and her friend with a pitcher of beer. Well, I tell her that she should come down to the pub I'm at, but she says that she's going to stay on the other side of town for the night.

The Issue:

I wait four days (until Monday) to text her. We joke back and fourth and then I tell her that I'm going to call her that night at 8pm. I joke with her over the phone, avoiding serious answers to her questions with jokes. The whole time I'm asking her light questions to try to keep her talking about 70% of the time, but she's giving me short answers back and shooting back with questions of her own. So the conversation is 60% her, 40% in terms of talking. I also notice that she's not laughing as much at my jokes, perhaps she wants real answers to her questions?

Turn for the worse?:

Eventually I ask her "what kind of hobbies do you have? What defines you as a person?" She responds,"Are you serious? Are you seriously asking me that?" She tells me she doesn't want to answer the question and asks if this is some kind of interview. I'm stunned and don't know what to say. She eventually asks why I want to know and I tell her that I want to get to know her. Finally, she answers the question all fast and uninterested.

In an effort to save the day, I change the subject to a lighter topic and try and finish on a high note by making her laugh, which I do. Then, I get to the point and invite her to go rock climbing again. She tells me she's going to be going home from Wednesday to Sunday/or Monday (and she changes her facebook status to say this, so I believe her). So I tell her how about come back early and we can go rock climbing Sunday. She replies that she doesn't want to committ because she's not sure when she'll be back. End of conversation.

Wednesday comes around and I send her a song by a band I was telling her about on facebook to try and wash away that phone conversation, but she hasn't responded to it.

Question:

Why did she respond all weird to my question? Do you guys think she's still interested? I'm thinking the ball is in her court to contact me now so I won't send her any messages until then. Is this the best strategy? Or should i call her Sunday (tomorrow) and see if she's returning early? If she isn't, should I try to set up rock climbing again later in the week? I really feel like I need to redeem myself through a better phone conversation because communication is pretty important. Please let me know what you dudes think. Thanks!

 

[playerone]

Eventually I ask her "what kind of hobbies do you have? What defines you as a person?" She responds,"Are you serious? Are you seriously asking me that?" She tells me she doesn't want to answer the question and asks if this is some kind of interview.

Maybe you were playing around with her with jokes too much. There're some times you have to be "normal". Being C&F all the time is overkill. And those questions are asked in a pretty formal way, still not light enough.

I would say be C&F only when there are good chances to. And when you're not doing it, be a normal, confident guy and you can get her to tell more about herself.

 

[russell]

save the "deep" questions for in person. also don't get all worried about that ****. when you worry about little **** like she will notice and it will turn her off.

 

[ucmedv8]

Cool-cool. Thanks for the comments guys. I definately should be a bit more serious at times and I should relax a bit. What do you think should be the next step? Text her Sunday? Wait for her to make a move? Or try calling her again and setting up another date? She seemed excited about rock climbing since she has never done it before, but is asking her to rock climb for a third time overkill? Maybe invite her to go ice skating?

 

[ucmedv8]

Phat Rabbit, I felt the same thing about the question. But Russell is actually right because at one point she said that she wasn't deep, after I asked the question; implying that she felt the question was "deep."

You're right about all the kino, and I failed to do some on the first date, but I haven't had that 2nd chance to bust out some kino. She did initiate some kino on the first date, which is a good sign, after I made a joke about her she playfully slapped my arm. If I get that 2nd date I'm definately going to come out more sexual, go for the kiss close, and maybe even invite her home. My impression is that she is just looking to have fun anyways, hence her awkward response to the "deep" question about hobbies.

But the problem is how do I get to that 2nd date? Do I text her, and risk seeming desparate? Or do I wait on her to make a move, like she did by asking me on the first date?

 

[playerone]

It is not really whether the question is deep or not. It's probably more of how and when you pop the topic.

I always have this rule when dealing with these situations. Since she is busy at this point of time, you don't contact her at all. Whenever she is "busy" with something, like going off for days, being at a function/event etc, let her be, don't initiate conversation. If she is free and wants to talk to you again, she will. So meanwhile, settle your daily issues, go work out, watch some films, and see if she contacts you.

 

[russell]

i didn't really mean DEEP. i meant more like don't ask questions over text that require more than a few words. if you want to have a conversation about who she is and what moves her then don't do it over text. do it in person or over the phone.

 

[verysuave]

its like talking about food then all the sudden, u ask her, so do u love your parents?

 

[playerone]

Yup agreed. Text/IM is for flirting.