"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Reframing

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everywomanshero

Master Don Juan
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I got this out of a self-help type book a while back, and it can be pretty useful.


When he/she does ____ I choose to think ________ which causes me to feel ________________.


What this does is it forces one to recognize that he/she is choosing the affect someone has on him/her. The cognitions are causal to the feelings, but the other person's actions are not.


It is fairly easy to just tape this thing under the keyboard and run through it when fretting over another person's behavior.
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Styles

Don Juan
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It is proactivity. Usually it goes

experience----feel----think

but proactivity is taking over the process

experience-----think----then feel.

So whatever you think is what you feel. So it is possible to control your feelings. But remember not to become a robot with permagrin
 
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22 Rules for Massive Success With Women
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