Reframing

[everywomanshero]

I got this out of a self-help type book a while back, and it can be pretty useful.


When he/she does ____ I choose to think ________ which causes me to feel ________________.


What this does is it forces one to recognize that he/she is choosing the affect someone has on him/her. The cognitions are causal to the feelings, but the other person's actions are not.


It is fairly easy to just tape this thing under the keyboard and run through it when fretting over another person's behavior.

 

[kickureface]

wanna give an example? im not really sure what this does

 

[Styles]

It is proactivity. Usually it goes

experience----feel----think

but proactivity is taking over the process

experience-----think----then feel.

So whatever you think is what you feel. So it is possible to control your feelings. But remember not to become a robot with permagrin