This post is not credited to me, it is credited to 40quid. This was posted a long time ago, but i find this post useful. 40quid takes this credit for the following post:
Interview with a natural PUA -- reframing your focus
I realized the other day that I was spending way too much time trying to determine when to do what in which situation. And I was pretty much getting nowhere. Phone numbers like crazy, but no dates.
Then, I took David DeAngelo's advice -- I found a couple of guys who were just great with women, got to know them a bit, and then just started asking them questions about how they go about getting so much female attention.
There is this one guy in my class. He's not model good-looking, but he has so much confidence and a laid-back attitude that the women adore him. Everywhere he goes, there's some hot girl waiting to talk to him.
I asked him about some of the theory that I've learned here and on some other sources, like the theories on confidence, attraction, physical attractiveness, and other things. He stopped me in mid-sentence and he said this --
"You're thinking waaay too much about this. Your theory is correct, but when you interact with a girl and you're running these thoughts through your head, you're not focused on the goal, but the process. Girls can pick up on this because you're not just letting go and being natural."
He continued:
"Only the smoothest people can run patterns without looking fake. I'm not there yet -- and I don't want to be. I'd like to think that the women like me because I am doing one thing: enjoying the conversation and interacting with them. You'd be amazed how pvssy just falls into your lap if you just engage the girl in conversation."
"Forget phone numbers. They are just another barrier for you to work through. If she's not interested now, you are pretty much wasting your time. Move on."
This next comment cemented it for me:
"I ALMOST never get rejected because I only approach women who send off signals of interest. The way I look for interest is that I use eye contact. When a girl is staring at you with a certain look (and he showed me), you know you've got her. After that, I just mess with her by teasing her, always pushing the envelope, and getting her excited, and then . . . walking away, making her want more."
The look that he showed me was classic, because I instantly recognized it as the look that I have gotten in the past when I just knew things were going to work out. It's that look where the girl is pretty much watching your mouth with a wide eyes and a slight smile. She is basically hanging on your every word, just dying to hear what is coming next.
Finally, he had one more thing to offer:
"You're out to have a good time. If you make your goal to be -- 'I'm going to pick up a girl tonight,' you're approaching it all wrong. You're going to have an agenda when you talk to women, and girls can smell that a million miles away. If you are just out to have fun and a girl likes you, she's going to want to come along."
And you know what? My game has improved drastically in the last week. I just go out, have a good time and not overanalyze the situation. Now, I can't claim that I got laid like a porn star this week, but I sure as hell had a lot more fun. And the girls that I talked to seem genuinely excited to see me when I see them again.
Interview with a natural PUA -- reframing your focus
I realized the other day that I was spending way too much time trying to determine when to do what in which situation. And I was pretty much getting nowhere. Phone numbers like crazy, but no dates.
Then, I took David DeAngelo's advice -- I found a couple of guys who were just great with women, got to know them a bit, and then just started asking them questions about how they go about getting so much female attention.
There is this one guy in my class. He's not model good-looking, but he has so much confidence and a laid-back attitude that the women adore him. Everywhere he goes, there's some hot girl waiting to talk to him.
I asked him about some of the theory that I've learned here and on some other sources, like the theories on confidence, attraction, physical attractiveness, and other things. He stopped me in mid-sentence and he said this --
"You're thinking waaay too much about this. Your theory is correct, but when you interact with a girl and you're running these thoughts through your head, you're not focused on the goal, but the process. Girls can pick up on this because you're not just letting go and being natural."
He continued:
"Only the smoothest people can run patterns without looking fake. I'm not there yet -- and I don't want to be. I'd like to think that the women like me because I am doing one thing: enjoying the conversation and interacting with them. You'd be amazed how pvssy just falls into your lap if you just engage the girl in conversation."
"Forget phone numbers. They are just another barrier for you to work through. If she's not interested now, you are pretty much wasting your time. Move on."
This next comment cemented it for me:
"I ALMOST never get rejected because I only approach women who send off signals of interest. The way I look for interest is that I use eye contact. When a girl is staring at you with a certain look (and he showed me), you know you've got her. After that, I just mess with her by teasing her, always pushing the envelope, and getting her excited, and then . . . walking away, making her want more."
The look that he showed me was classic, because I instantly recognized it as the look that I have gotten in the past when I just knew things were going to work out. It's that look where the girl is pretty much watching your mouth with a wide eyes and a slight smile. She is basically hanging on your every word, just dying to hear what is coming next.
Finally, he had one more thing to offer:
"You're out to have a good time. If you make your goal to be -- 'I'm going to pick up a girl tonight,' you're approaching it all wrong. You're going to have an agenda when you talk to women, and girls can smell that a million miles away. If you are just out to have fun and a girl likes you, she's going to want to come along."
And you know what? My game has improved drastically in the last week. I just go out, have a good time and not overanalyze the situation. Now, I can't claim that I got laid like a porn star this week, but I sure as hell had a lot more fun. And the girls that I talked to seem genuinely excited to see me when I see them again.
