bat soup
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Apr 10, 2020
- Messages
- 4,210
- Reaction score
- 4,701
- Age
- 46
The feeling of rejection is painful and in order to avoid it, it's understandable that guys try to avoid it. It's perfectly normal for a human being to avoid pain and seek pleasure. However, avoiding rejection leads to missing out on a lot of potential opportunities. So I think if you have this problem, it's something that needs to be overcome.
So how can you avoid rejection or avoid feeling rejected? The answer is to reframe how you think about it.
The truth is that any girl that would reject your advances has already rejected you. You just don't know it yet. So when you approach a girl and express your interest, you're not "getting rejected" but just finding out information about her. That information is useful to you, so by finding out where you stand you're actually gaining something rather than losing it.
You might be thinking something like "but most girls reject me and I'm sick of it". Well, in that case you already know that a certain percentage of girls will not be interested. Approaching more of them probably won't change that percentage. So really, your opinion of yourself shouldn't change. If a girl insults you, is rude or calls you ugly, that's not new information. You already know that a certain percentage of women think that way. But what you have gained is information about her specifically and about her value to you. Which in this case, obviously, is zero and I would react by blocking her. If I did not have this information because I was being timid and pretending to just want a friend, then this girl (who already has this opinion of me, whether I know about it or not) would be wasting my time and potentially leading me on. Now that I know what her attitude is, I can remove her from my life and only deal with women that are attracted (or, at the very least, are respectful).
"What about female friends?" you say. Well, you can have as many female friends as you want. But you shouldn't want to bang any of them. If you do you, you should find out whether they feel the same way and then consider whether you really still want them as your friend.
So how can you avoid rejection or avoid feeling rejected? The answer is to reframe how you think about it.
The truth is that any girl that would reject your advances has already rejected you. You just don't know it yet. So when you approach a girl and express your interest, you're not "getting rejected" but just finding out information about her. That information is useful to you, so by finding out where you stand you're actually gaining something rather than losing it.
You might be thinking something like "but most girls reject me and I'm sick of it". Well, in that case you already know that a certain percentage of girls will not be interested. Approaching more of them probably won't change that percentage. So really, your opinion of yourself shouldn't change. If a girl insults you, is rude or calls you ugly, that's not new information. You already know that a certain percentage of women think that way. But what you have gained is information about her specifically and about her value to you. Which in this case, obviously, is zero and I would react by blocking her. If I did not have this information because I was being timid and pretending to just want a friend, then this girl (who already has this opinion of me, whether I know about it or not) would be wasting my time and potentially leading me on. Now that I know what her attitude is, I can remove her from my life and only deal with women that are attracted (or, at the very least, are respectful).
"What about female friends?" you say. Well, you can have as many female friends as you want. But you shouldn't want to bang any of them. If you do you, you should find out whether they feel the same way and then consider whether you really still want them as your friend.
