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reddit post: Hobby groups are full of single men

Hal9000

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Its the same old story. Men bust their ass to stay in shape, have a good paying job, be interesting, stay active and maintain a social network and it gets many of them nowhere. Women eat whatever they want, get drunk every night, are insufferable to be around and are outright boring as hell, yet they will have a thousand thirsty men fighting for the privilege of being in their presence. Then we have to hear women ***** about how much dating sucks to boot!
 
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mrgoodstuff

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do they?
I do that or oj to stop the overzealous "oh come on, just have one" types of alcohol bullies.
Tomato juice or oj look like alcohol drinks and if I sip it slow, I can fool alot.
If ur not drinking yea have a drink mix with 7up and a juice such as cranberry or orange.

There are a few advantages to being the only one not drinking and only you know it.
 
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SW15

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A buddy took me to a local shore bar co-ed sand volleyball league game. All were maybe 5s or 6s. I talked to some of the girls on the team and it turns out they all have boyfriends either on the team or waiting for them at home after the game. It seems like the co-ed team is more of a couples activity than a meet up group. I’d only join the league if I absolutely enjoyed volleyball and I had nothing else productive to do. I’ll pass this season.
This is a fairly common anecdote in many co-ed sports leagues in terms of women with established boyfriends partcipating and not using the league to meet new men. The pickup volleyball game player women seemed more likely to be single and looking than the league player in my experience. At the venue I would go to for pickup volleyball, pickup games would occur on weekend afternoons, whereas the league games were in the evenings, starting around 5-6 PM on Sunday if I remember correctly. If a woman is unaccompanied by a man on a Sat/Sun afternoon, she's usually unattached. Most attached people spend their Saturday-Sunday afternoons with a significant other. The weeknight evening league populace wouldn't be able to be screened like that.

Meetup should only be used to make guy friends. The women on meetup are whales. If you meet one random hot one, she will be bombarded by simps and she will eventually get turned off by meetup.

It's similar to OLD in terms of the ratios.
I agree that the ratios are like swipe apps, but the average looks are worse than the swipe apps. As for making guy friends, there are also better options.
 

jaymbrs

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The point of meetups isnt to meet women. It's to meet people. To grow your social circle. Once that grows, your probability of meeting women also increases. It's a pretty simple formula. As long as you're not befriending weirdos or people who give off negative vibes.
 

Bible_Belt

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Then there are the methods that some guys use which is going to events that are specifically geared toward women, like yoga...it's hit or miss.
There was a weight watcher's group that met on Saturday mornings at a sports complex where I used to train jiu jitsu. Only a couple of the women were fat, surprisingly. Most were actually attractive, and I don't remember seeing any men in the group.

He doesn't post much any more, but our longtime member backbreaker could slay at group meetings for alcoholics anonymous. I think it is like weight watchers in that you meet sober people there and not drunks.
 

Lynx nkaf

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There was a weight watcher's group that met on Saturday mornings at a sports complex where I used to train jiu jitsu. Only a couple of the women were fat, surprisingly. Most were actually attractive, and I don't remember seeing any men in the group.

He doesn't post much any more, but our longtime member backbreaker could slay at group meetings for alcoholics anonymous. I think it is like weight watchers in that you meet sober people there and not drunks.
alot of goodlooking people at aa
Think: its the same group from the bars downtown....just not drinking alcohol anymore
Wish I could remember that John Cusack movie title that had his character going to meetings.
 

SW15

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The point of meetups isnt to meet women. It's to meet people. To grow your social circle. Once that grows, your probability of meeting women also increases. It's a pretty simple formula. As long as you're not befriending weirdos or people who give off negative vibes.
I think it is more common occurrence that men are using Meetups to find dates.

Meetup has a use. You can add male friends with it when you are new to a city, know absolutely no one, and need a place to start. I added 2 male friends from it in my early days in my current city and each of those guys has been a friend for 5+ years. While neither has been amongst my absolute closest friends, they have each served a good purpose. I met another friend through one of the male friends I met via Meetup. Convenience might be its key selling point. However, one's best friends are likely to come from somewhere else.
 

mrgoodstuff

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There was a weight watcher's group that met on Saturday mornings at a sports complex where I used to train jiu jitsu. Only a couple of the women were fat, surprisingly. Most were actually attractive, and I don't remember seeing any men in the group.

He doesn't post much any more, but our longtime member backbreaker could slay at group meetings for alcoholics anonymous. I think it is like weight watchers in that you meet sober people there and not drunks.
"Drunks" lol. The labelling.
 

mrgoodstuff

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will try that mix next time, sounds good man! thanks
Vodka and cranberry is real nice lol. But cranberry w 7up looks like you got sone action in The cup. Or a coke in a drinking glass. It can be "crown and coke" for all they know.
 

corrector

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The point of meetups isnt to meet women. It's to meet people. To grow your social circle. Once that grows, your probability of meeting women also increases. It's a pretty simple formula. As long as you're not befriending weirdos or people who give off negative vibes.
How does the probability of meeting women increase in a sausage fest meetup. You are not there to pick up guys or make male friends as that sounds too gay and you start giving off gay vibes.
 

MatureDJ

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For sand volleyball, within the United States, participation in it can be fruitful if you live in Los Angeles/Orange County, San Diego, Miami/Fort Lauderdale, or the Tampa area. Those cities have year round beach culture and pickup games can likely easily be found. Some larger inland cities have venues for sand volleyball. Indoor volleyball might be an option as well.
Sand volleyball is everywhere (a truckload of sand only costs about $50, so it's not like it costs that much); of course, in nothern climes it is only a summertime activity. A problem with this ploy is that it is CHAD CITY, especially since goof volleyball players tend to be tall. :mad:
 

MatureDJ

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Meetup should only be used to make guy friends. The women on meetup are whales. If you meet one random hot one, she will be bombarded by simps and she will eventually get turned off by meetup.

It's similar to OLD in terms of the ratios.

Now, if you meet a woman at a special event, like a wedding or an invite only party...it's completely different. It's no longer cold approach it's warm approach, and she won't have her b**** shield up. Everything is dependent on the circumstances.
I remember going to some meetup (I was so unimpressed that I have forgotten what is was about), and I - and I am sure the other men there - felt like I was Captain Ahab.

As for the comment about weddings, I agree. I used to consistently do well at such events - getting numbers, 1NS :eek:, and even just spending time dancing with an attractive young woman (there was a run for a while where these women were high-school chicks, so I couldn't go for the digits :eek::eek::eek::eek:),
 

MatureDJ

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The point of meetups isnt to meet women. It's to meet people. To grow your social circle. Once that grows, your probability of meeting women also increases. It's a pretty simple formula. As long as you're not befriending weirdos or people who give off negative vibes.
I have a friend who is a bit like Norm from Cheers (probably only the Gen-Xers here have any idea who this is) and thus knows a lot of folks from his bars' crowd, as well as from a men's civic organization. His acquaintances were always throwing women at him - granted they were 40+ (about his then age), sometimes with kids (or even grandkids :eek::eek::eek: ). I guess this method is called "just age into women that stop being stuck up, bro". :mad:
 

SW15

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Sand volleyball is everywhere (a truckload of sand only costs about $50, so it's not like it costs that much); of course, in nothern climes it is only a summertime activity. A problem with this ploy is that it is CHAD CITY, especially since goof volleyball players tend to be tall. :mad:
When you say good volleyball players tend to be tall, are you referring to both sexes or just the women?

As for the Chad City part, I don't see this as a major problem. Every man should do everything in his power to be Chad. I exercise 4-5 days a week, eat clean, and avoid porn and mbate to optimize testosterone. While I am not a definitive Chad, I have a very good case for being Chad Lite.

As for the comment about weddings, I agree. I used to consistently do well at such events - getting numbers, 1NS :eek:, and even just spending time dancing with an attractive young woman (there was a run for a while where these women were high-school chicks, so I couldn't go for the digits :eek::eek::eek::eek:),
Weddings have changed in recent years as well. In the 1990s and early 2000s when you were likely doing weddings it was different. In a lot of the weddings since 2010, the couple getting married are around age 30, and most of their friends are people in established couples around age 30 as well, making a post wedding reception a complete pusssy wasteland for the single and unattached man. "Wedding Crashers", which came out in 2005, is horribly outdated today, and might have even been outdated in 2005. People just don't meet at weddings anymore if they are in their late 20s or later. If people meet romantic partners through their circle of acquiantances and friends, it is at some other social event.

3 of my friends in my primary social circle got married in 2017. I didn't attend any of the weddings because of this. My closest friend of the 3, after the wedding, told me there were a total of 110 attendees at the post wedding reception, and 0 single and unattached women under the age of 40. The other 2 weddings likely had a similar demographic composition. I was in a new relationship in 2017 at the time of 2 of the 3 weddings, including the one I mentioned with the 110 attendees. In a separate issue, for the one with 110 attendees, I wasn't even given a +1 to that wedding since when the guest list was determined, I wasn't in a couple.

The only time a wedding might be worth going to is if it is a local wedding, and the couple getting married is well younger than the median age of people who married. You want the couple getting married to be like 25 and 23, so that they'll still have unattached people in their orbit.

I have a friend who is a bit like Norm from Cheers (probably only the Gen-Xers here have any idea who this is) and thus knows a lot of folks from his bars' crowd, as well as from a men's civic organization. His acquaintances were always throwing women at him - granted they were 40+ (about his then age), sometimes with kids (or even grandkids :eek::eek::eek: ). I guess this method is called "just age into women that stop being stuck up, bro". :mad:
I'm an early Millennial and I know of Norm from Cheers from passing by re-runs.

I'm not sure that method would work today. Why would a 45 year old woman go to a Rotary Club or Kiwanis event to meet men when she can interact with far more men by putting up a profile on Hinge, Bumble, or even old school Match? It's entirely possible for a 45-50 year old woman who isn't drawing much interest in the real world often to throw up a profile in the digital world and all of a sudden she's being pursued like she was when she was in high school in the pre-internet era. I've seen this exact scenario play out among people I know. About 6 years ago, a male acquaintance who was in his early 30s at the time tried to bang such late 40s woman in this scenario and she turned him down as she told him she had 3-5 other options she was juggling. She was menopausal, had 2 kids still under 18, and yet could carry on a multiple sexual relationships.
 

FlexpertHamilton

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Two comments:

1 - Why the **** are you browsing Reddit? It's full of simps, virtue-signalling f*ags, and sad, pathetic, disillusioned white knights.
2 - Hobbies/groups should be done for their own sake, and meeting women should be purely indicidental. If you go into those places NOT expecting to meet women, but have fun and meet people, you'll be much more likely to actually meet a girl anyway.
 

SW15

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Hobbies/groups should be done for their own sake, and meeting women should be purely indicidental. If you go into those places NOT expecting to meet women, but have fun and meet people, you'll be much more likely to actually meet a girl anyway.
A lot of advice articles tell people to meet others through activities. So people, especially men, start doing activities and when they come up empty handed, they are displeased.

One of my hobbies is tennis. I detailed earlier in this thread how tennis isn't exceptional for meeting women. I'm still happy to play tennis since I've been playing it since before puberty and have many hours devoted to it. I can't take on any more hobbies though that wouldn't generate a return on the time investment for my woman life. Every other activity I do would need to prove beneficial.

There's a lot of inefficiency in relational development. Almost any method one chooses has huge ineffencies. Want to swipe on apps? Be prepared to have a lot of bad first dates that don't amount to jack shiit, and don't get your diick wet. Be prepared to deal with a lot of flakes. Want to be a bar/nightclub approacher? You're going to spend a lot of time drinking alcohol, and standing around. You're also going to have a lot of meaningless conversations that go nowhere. Want to approach in the grocery store, mall, or on a walking/hiking path? You're going to be standing around for an extended time looking to pitch, and a lot of conversations will go nowhere. Some women won't understand what you're trying to do. It's also immensely difficult to direct approach, even if using lifestyle hacks to up your aggressiveness. Want to go to events or partake in activities/activity groups? There's a lot of time waste involved.

I think we all forget that first generation websites like Match.com were launched to address the inefficiencies in real world meetings. However, the websites and later the apps never solved the inefficiencies but later compounded them.
 
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jaymbrs

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How does the probability of meeting women increase in a sausage fest meetup. You are not there to pick up guys or make male friends as that sounds too gay and you start giving off gay vibes.
Use your head. Perhaps they have friends who have friends. Or maybe you're new to the city and looking for wingmen to hit the bars with. It sounds to me like you get in your own way.
 
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