"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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Red flags with this girl?

summersky

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So I met this girl online, and we were talking a lot and got along very well. She was showing signs of high interest, always calling, texting, telling how much she likes me.

After the first date she told me that she doesnt need to be on the dating site we met anymore, because she really likes me and want to give us a chance. I didnt really care if she is and I didnt ask her to leave the site. She told me by herself. Things seemed really good.

Few days later I found out she is still on the dating site and active also. I asked her in a calm way if she is still there and she said "no". I told her that I know for a fact that she still is but she didnt admit and was talking some BS. After I went cold she finally admitted but when I asked why she was still there even when she told me she isnt, she said "i dont know". WTF!?

So really I didnt care if she was still active but I care about lying to me. Would such a small lie be enough for you guys to not see her as relationship material? Also the fact that she didnt admit that she lied..

Im the type of person, one lie - and the trust is gone. Even if it is a small / moderate one. If a girl / my girlfriend is lying to me about smaller stuff, I cant trust her anymore and I question everything she is saying from there.. Is it crazy to loose all trust after one small lie?

What do you think?

Regards,
summersky
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Scaramouche

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Dear Summersky,
Well I like your style...If this is the replacement for the Girl who insulted you by being half an hour late on a date,you have gone from the frying pan to the fire...But seriously,can't you appreciate that modern dating is just theatre,not to be taken too seriously...This latest Girl is obviously not too clever,so play along,great for a Plate...See her as one of Lifes Apples to be savoured,eaten and enjoyed!
 

Augustus_McCrae

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Dear Summersky,
Well I like your style...If this is the replacement for the Girl who insulted you by being half an hour late on a date,you have gone from the frying pan to the fire...But seriously,can't you appreciate that modern dating is just theatre,not to be taken too seriously...This latest Girl is obviously not too clever,so play along,great for a Plate...See her as one of Lifes Apples to be savoured,eaten and enjoyed!
"...Modern dating is just theatre...". Awesome !

-Augustus-
 

ZTIME

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So I met this girl online, and we were talking a lot and got along very well. She was showing signs of high interest, always calling, texting, telling how much she likes me.

After the first date she told me that she doesnt need to be on the dating site we met anymore, because she really likes me and want to give us a chance. I didnt really care if she is and I didnt ask her to leave the site. She told me by herself. Things seemed really good.

Few days later I found out she is still on the dating site and active also. I asked her in a calm way if she is still there and she said "no". I told her that I know for a fact that she still is but she didnt admit and was talking some BS. After I went cold she finally admitted but when I asked why she was still there even when she told me she isnt, she said "i dont know". WTF!?

So really I didnt care if she was still active but I care about lying to me. Would such a small lie be enough for you guys to not see her as relationship material? Also the fact that she didnt admit that she lied..

Im the type of person, one lie - and the trust is gone. Even if it is a small / moderate one. If a girl / my girlfriend is lying to me about smaller stuff, I cant trust her anymore and I question everything she is saying from there.. Is it crazy to loose all trust after one small lie?

What do you think?

Regards,
summersky
1. If you didn't care if she was still on the dating site, why did you check? (If it looks and smells like caring it probably is)

2. Why after one or 2 dates are you trying to catagorize this plate as "relationship material"?

Are you just out to have fun or are you currently on a quest to nab the future Mrs. Summersky?

3. Based on this and your last thread, it seems like you're looking so far into the future that you're finding it hard to enjoy the present.

Sometimes the journey can be a lot more fun then the destination. So please fasten your seatbelt and enjoy the ride.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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summersky

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Thanks, I do not take dating seriously but I am trying to be really honest from the beginning. Cause lies in the beginning could destroy trust forever.

It would be nice to meet a girl with potential for something serious. Thats why I am asking if behaviour like that in the beginning would it make a deal breaker for you. Cause otherwise I really like her. We had really nice deep conversations and Sex already on the second date. I was thinking about her maybe being girlfriend material. But after she betrayed me like that I am not sure...

What about in general, I mean would you dump your girlfriend if she lied to you like that? Or would you give a second chance, third chance?? I mean when is it enough, is one small lie enough for you, or one big lie?

Regards
 

guru1000

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So I met this girl online
summersky said:
After the first date ...
summersky said:
Few days later I found out she is still on the dating site and active also.
summersky said:
I was thinking about her maybe being girlfriend material. But after she betrayed me like that I am not sure...
LOL!

Loosen up cream puff. You're wound up too tight. Further, bang her at least a few months before you provoke a thought about exclusivity.
 

Tictac

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Thanks, I do not take dating seriously but I am trying to be really honest from the beginning. Cause lies in the beginning could destroy trust forever.

It would be nice to meet a girl with potential for something serious. Thats why I am asking if behaviour like that in the beginning would it make a deal breaker for you. Cause otherwise I really like her. We had really nice deep conversations and Sex already on the second date. I was thinking about her maybe being girlfriend material. But after she betrayed me like that I am not sure...

What about in general, I mean would you dump your girlfriend if she lied to you like that? Or would you give a second chance, third chance?? I mean when is it enough, is one small lie enough for you, or one big lie?

Regards
If you do anything for at least the first TWO MONTHS of dating a woman other than "hang out, have fun and hook up" (Corey Wayne) you are doing it wrong. YOU are the red flag.

Read back over your own threads. You are desperate beyond belief and have learned nothing in the year and a half you've been here.
 

ZTIME

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Thanks, I do not take dating seriously but I am trying to be really honest from the beginning. Cause lies in the beginning could destroy trust forever.

It would be nice to meet a girl with potential for something serious. Thats why I am asking if behaviour like that in the beginning would it make a deal breaker for you. Cause otherwise I really like her. We had really nice deep conversations and Sex already on the second date. I was thinking about her maybe being girlfriend material. But after she betrayed me like that I am not sure...

What about in general, I mean would you dump your girlfriend if she lied to you like that? Or would you give a second chance, third chance?? I mean when is it enough, is one small lie enough for you, or one big lie?

Regards
Man I would hate to see the new threads when you start taking dating seriously!! From getting annoyed by a 30 minute late phone call to freaking over a lie........Imagine the termoil that would happen if you took this sh*t seriously! But I digress.

It's a harsh reality and I don't know if anyone has ever told you, but every human lies. Boom!! I know it's mind blowing, but it's real. Everyone lies including you.

It's your choice on how much of it you're willing to deal with, but if you dump every chick when you catch them in some degree of a lie.....Be prepared to dump 100% of them.

So in fairness and to answer your question; Yes, I do look at lies as red flags. I know, I said it. Here's the kicker: I don't dump plates for little rad flags. I make mental notes, and when I decide it's over.....well it's over.

So as previously stated: "try to just enjoy the ride".
 

Yewki

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After the first date she told me that she doesnt need to be on the dating site we met anymore, because she really likes me and want to give us a chance. I didnt really care if she is and I didnt ask her to leave the site. She told me by herself. Things seemed really good.
I don't know why you say this is really good. It's pretty bad actually. One date and she's so invested that she's taking herself off the market? Right. I'm calling it right now. This girl is clingy, immature, and has little to no other options. Not much sport in banging such a girl, and she's def not LTR material.

But then again you have your own issues, so who am I to say.
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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hockeyfreak79

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Woman LIE ALL the time, get used to it bro! She will LIE if it helps her ulterior motives. She will LIE to save your sensitive feelings! Hence, NO I'm not on the site.

Tap the breaks man! B*ng em for 90 days then ask yourself is this broad worth it? I don't care how you do it, pros & cons. Write a thread, whatever!

Re-read your original post, you contradicted yourself man! Less fvcks given, you don't need to care if she's still has an active profile, you just meet her. You do YOUR thing & she does hers. Like Ztime said keep mental notes to yourself, score card if you will.

Yewkinmight have nailed this 1, could possibly be a stage 5 clinger.
 
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