Red flags or is it just me?

[the_untold_history]

you were way too serious too soon. this woman liked you and wanted you. you did not escalate. you let her take the lead. you were passive. you had many opportunities to close her with sex and you did not take them. She was good to go.

She may have been a gold digger; but so what. you weren't marrying her. And if this became more and more obvious you simply dump her and move on. It's more likely that she was surprised that she attracted someone of your financial stature.

She liked you. You had things in common with her. You enjoyed her and she enjoyed you. She was waiting for you to escalate. You could have Ravaged this woman, and had your way with her. But you chose not to.

Then you got all passive aggressive with her when she started losing her patience with you. You got snippy. You were really upset with yourself for not handling things right. Down the road, if the red flags became apparent you could have dumped her. But you never found out what she was really like because you didn't escalate and advance the relationship. She found out you were not a closer.

But here's the good news. You have everything women want. Your looks are better than average. You have a nice car. You have an art collection. You have money. You have a job. They don't want much more. What you need is confidence in your desirability. Your confidence that you can please women in every way, not just as a provisioner. You can do it by learning what your sticking points are. You could be a playah. You have to learn to close. Women want you to close.

 

[CaliMan007]

you were way too serious too soon. this woman liked you and wanted you. you did not escalate. you let her take the lead. you were passive. you had many opportunities to close her with sex and you did not take them. She was good to go.

She may have been a gold digger; but so what. you weren't marrying her. And if this became more and more obvious you simply dump her and move on. It's more likely that she was surprised that she attracted someone of your financial stature.

She liked you. You had things in common with her. You enjoyed her and she enjoyed you. She was waiting for you to escalate. You could have Ravaged this woman, and had your way with her. But you chose not to.

Then you got all passive aggressive with her when she started losing her patience with you. You got snippy. You were really upset with yourself for not handling things right. Down the road, if the red flags became apparent you could have dumped her. But you never found out what she was really like because you didn't escalate and advance the relationship. She found out you were not a closer.

But here's the good news. You have everything women want. Your looks are better than average. You have a nice car. You have an art collection. You have money. You have a job. They don't want much more. What you need is confidence in your desirability. Your confidence that you can please women in every way, not just as a provisioner. You can do it by learning what your sticking points are. You could be a playah. You have to learn to close. Women want you to close.

Thank you Untold. Your post really reasonates with me bc I've come to realize this is an area I need to work on..... my inability to close. After my BPD relationship I expect women to prove themselves to me, show me they are good and have value, come after me, etc etc. I think my fault lies in the fact that, as you stated, I needed to escalate at some point.

Making this chick prove herself to me caused her interest level to skyrocket at first, but after failing to escalate/close it quickly died down. So I think I did the fantastically right in the first half, but failed miserably in the second half.

My sticking points.... I think you hit the nail on the head, I got too serious too soon, I needed to simply have fun and let go, and take it up a notch without fear of consequence. One major area I need to change is that I view every girl as "relationship material", so I view things from a relationship perspective. Playing the game involves so very little attachment, so I need to keep it light and airy and not worry about hurting someone else (and myself).

With that being said, do you think I can still F-close with this chick or is it a lost cause? I have a date with another chick later today but if I can salvage this other chick, why the heck not!