Red Flags.. How many are too many?

[LondonTowers]

All girls have some craziness to them.. but how many Red Flags do you accept before you eject?

Common Ones:
1. She has cheated on her exes
2. She has had abusive relationships
3. She has been sexually abused
4. She suffers from a mental illness or ten
5. She has had over certain amount of partners
6. She is an alcoholic/addict
7. She has a bad relationship with her family
8. She has no friends
9. She only has guy friends
10. She has a poor work history

I mean, would you accept any of these, one a few?.. do you have other Red Flags that you could accept or are automatic ejections?

 

[GS750]

All girls have some craziness to them.. but how many Red Flags do you accept before you eject?

Common Ones:
1. She has cheated on her exes Nope, but she'd never admit this anyway
2. She has had abusive relationships Baggage, but not a dealbreaker
3. She has been sexually abused Not a chance in hell. She's crazy as cat sh*t
4. She suffers from a mental illness or ten Been there. Done that. No.
5. She has had over certain amount of partners More than 8?
6. She is an alcoholic/addict No way
7. She has a bad relationship with her family Daddy issues? That can be an advantage...
8. She has no friends Not really a big deal, but troubling
9. She only has guy friends Too many orbiters annoy me. No.
10. She has a poor work history Don't care about this one, but I'm not supporting her.

I mean, would you accept any of these, one a few?.. do you have other Red Flags that you could accept or are automatic ejections?

The sexual abuse is an auto rejection. Not her fault, but she's likely an emotional basket-case.

 

[Between_The_Lines]

Jesus, almost all of those are 'felonies' as far as red flags go. Like PairPlusRoyalFlush, 8 & 10 seem like the only acceptable ones, but two can fall under "maybe". If #7 (has a bad relationship with her family) is with her Father, forget it - I've learned my lesson there the hard way (a contentious relationship with the Mother can screw her up pretty bad too though). As for #5, it depends on her age. If she's in her late 20s/early 30s, I'd ideally prefer that she be somewhere between 5-10 partners.

 

[YawataNoKami]

Run , Forest , Run

 

[AttackFormation]

3 characters

All girls have some craziness to them.. but how many Red Flags do you accept before you eject?

Common Ones:
1. She has cheated on her exesOnly if they were f@ggot chumps
2. She has had abusive relationshipsOnly if it happened once and the problem isn't with her - psychopaths can fool anyone
3. She has been sexually abusedNot sure, no experience
4. She suffers from a mental illness or tenNext
5. She has had over certain amount of partnersIf you next on this criteria you'll pass every girl you meet these days
6. She is an alcoholic/addictIf you next on this criteria you'll pass most girls, but I still next this one - I can't stand smoking
7. She has a bad relationship with her familyI don't have a very good one either
8. She has no friendsLet's see why not
9. She only has guy friendsLet's see if it's because she can't stand bullsh!t or if she's the generator of it
10. She has a poor work historyI don't really care

I mean, would you accept any of these, one a few?.. do you have other Red Flags that you could accept or are automatic ejections?

In my experience the more sexual a girl is the more likely it is she will suffer from a Red Flag and it's way easier to find girls who have flags than those who don't.

 

[Harry Wilmington]

Most of these aren't actually red flags. I base red flags on behaviors I actually see when she's around me or interacting with me. If these things are mentioned by her, they may put me on guard, but until I actually see examples of disrespect or craziness I give every girl the benefit of the doubt that her experiences of past aren't necessarily who she is now, or will be reflective of what she may do to me. (Note: Not saying these things don't mean anything - again, I stay on alert - but with no evidence I don't get all caught up in my head about what she may do).

A better way to look at this list would be to take notice of what she says but relate them to an action that you can actually see and experience. For example:

1. She has cheated on her exes < she has flirted with other guys in front of me
2. She has had abusive relationships < everytime I go to hug her she flinches
3. She has been sexually abused < she starts crying whenever we start to have sex
4. She suffers from a mental illness or ten < she'll be calm one minute, then yelling the next
5. She has had over certain amount of partners < she stays in contact with all her exes - all 25 of them
6. She is an alcoholic/addict < every time we go out she has to have a drink and some pills
7. She has a bad relationship with her family < she cut her mom, brother, and cousins off for a really stupid reason that was HER fault
8. She has no friends < she's always telling stories about arguments she got into with former friends, and starts those same arguments with you
9. She only has guy friends < she's always letting her guy friends touch her inappropriately
10. She has a poor work history < she just started a new job and has already been late 4 times

The words in bold are ACTIONS, i.e. actual proof of her being crazy, thus having it be a red flag. Most of the ones you listed are simply things to be cautious of, but not necessarily flags yet. A girl could have been abused but went to counseling to deal with it - in this case, her being abused could be something to be aware of, but if she's not taking it out on you then it wouldn't be at the level of a "red flag" yet. Red flags - in my opinion - are when she's doing things that will actually affect your life long-term in a negative way based on the fact that certain actions are being demonstrated by her in the NOW.