Red flag?

[zekko]

Maybe since the OP dumped her last year, she doesn't see him as being all that reliable. Which would make her less interested in taking his views into consideration when she wants to get a nose piercing.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Maybe since the OP dumped her last year, she doesn't see him as being all that reliable. Which would make her less interested in taking his views into consideration when she wants to get a nose piercing.

People are not willing to reap what they sow. Actions have consequences.

 

[dk1990S111]

Maybe since the OP dumped her last year, she doesn't see him as being all that reliable. Which would make her less interested in taking his views into consideration when she wants to get a nose piercing.

Thought of that and could be the case for sure. At that point not sense in even trying again though if you have that mindset.

Looking objectively, I have a flourishing business. House that’s half paid off and my only debt. Supercar, two trucks personally older one being a 22. If I was a single mom, with 20k in student loan debt, a $2000 car, and a son who’s dad is a deadbeat that hasn’t given her any child support, and lived with my parents I don’t think I’d say I don’t care what you think and risk messing that all up. But a lot of women/people in general these days are too impulsive. The things I just listed are all liabilities but she is very chill which is great after being with my baby’s mom dealing with all that. But to bring all that liability into my life and not care what I think is my biggest issue with it all

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Thought of that and could be the case for sure. At that point not sense in even trying again though if you have that mindset.

Looking objectively, I have a flourishing business. House that’s half paid off and my only debt. Supercar, two trucks personally older one being a 22. If I was a single mom, with 20k in student loan debt, a $2000 car, and a son who’s dad is a deadbeat that hasn’t given her any child support, and lived with my parents I don’t think I’d say I don’t care what you think and risk messing that all up. But a lot of women/people in general these days are too impulsive. The things I just listed are all liabilities but she is very chill which is great after being with my baby’s mom dealing with all that. But to bring all that liability into my life and not care what I think is my biggest issue with it all

The fatal flaw in this logic is that you think all of those think make her respect you. They don't. They make her see you as a cash register.

They play ZERO role in whether she respects you or not. What you allow her to get away with and the way you respect yourself are what determines her respect level for you.

Trying to justify that you have "all these material things" is essentially saying "I have nothing else to offer you, so all these material things are why you should respect me!".

That's not where respect comes from tho, and if you continue to think that's what is important in these situations, you will continue to have the same issues.

That's the cherry on top of the sundae, not the ice cream.

 

[Sega Genesis]

Maybe since the OP dumped her last year, she doesn't see him as being all that reliable. Which would make her less interested in taking his views into consideration when she wants to get a nose piercing.

@zekko I agree with most of your posts but if I may challenge you a bit here.

^^Why date him at all then? If she doesn't care or respect his opinions or values?

To say (to her precious friends) she has a boyfriend, to be taken out, spent money on or occasional good sex? I do know women like this which is why I mention...

OP is seeking a LTR, marriage and stepmom for his daughter not a casual "good for now" girl.

Anyway..

Instead of her snarkish retort "don't care what you think," what you want (for yourself and your daughter) is a woman who is able to understand your views and consider and discuss a possible compromise...

"Would you be OK with it if I took the piercing out when spending time with your daughter"? Or when we're sexually intimate"?

I dunno discuss it! Reach a compromise you're both comfortable with.

Perhaps in time you might even find it sexy! OK a stretch lol... but

NOT how she acted and what she said. She took back her words afterwards but the damage and disrespect was done.

I won't tell you what to do but would suggest that you at least think about and consider ending things; there are very attractive women who would NOT behave this way and who would respect you and be great stepmom for your daughter.

A woman both you and your daughter would respect..

$.02

 

[BackInTheGame78]

@zekko I agree with most of your posts but if I may challenge you a bit here.

^^Why date him at all then? If she doesn't care or respect his opinions or values?

To say (to her precious friends) she has a boyfriend, to be taken out, spent money on or occasional good sex? I do know women like this which is why I mention...

Anyway..

Instead of her snarkish retort "don't care what you think," what you want (for yourself and your daughter) is a woman who is able to understand your views and consider and discuss a possible compromise...

"Would you be OK with it if I took the piercing out when spending time with your daughter"? Or when we're sexually intimate"?

I dunno discuss it! Reach a compromise you're both comfortable with.

Perhaps in time you might even find it sexy! OK a stretch lol... but

NOT how she acted and what she said. She took back her words afterwards but the damage and disrespect was done.

I won't tell you what to do but would suggest that you at least think about and consider ending things; there are very attractive women who would NOT behave this way and who would respect you and be great stepmom for your daughter.

A woman both you and your daughter would respect..

$.02

Because she see him as a cash register. The reason many women date a lot of men

 

[Sega Genesis]

Because she see him as a cash register. The reason many women date a lot of men

Isn't that what I just said?

To say (to her precious friends) she has a boyfriend, to be taken out, spent money on or occasional good sex?

It was a rhetorical question... I wasn't born yesterday lol

 

[zekko]

^^Why date him at all then? If she doesn't care or respect his opinions or values?

I'm not fond of saying this, but maybe he's her best option for now? She clearly wants this stupid nose piercing (I'm not fond of them either), and probably got a little agitated when he tried to put a roadblock in her path.

 

[Vanderdonck]

Maybe since the OP dumped her last year, she doesn't see him as being all that reliable. Which would make her less interested in taking his views into consideration when she wants to get a nose piercing.

Good insight, I missed that detail. He11 hath no fury.

 

[jhonny9546]

What do you think about this other red flag, common among marry.

Many wives complain about their husbands' activities, like the soccer match on live TV every Sunday, or his going tennis every Thursday, and how they "never" go out because he have his friends or activities.

They complain both to him directly and among friends. I've always seen all this as a major red flag, and I think it's ideal for a woman to understand, recognize, and encourage her husband's activities. Likewise, a man loves his woman to have free time for herself, her commitments, her personal growth.
Have you ever been affected by this in a relationship? How did you react?