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Red flag?

andy87

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Good day folks, looking for advice regarding my girlfriends relationship with her father. Me and my girl get on well have been seeing each other for a year but I don't like the way she treats her father, her parents are still together and she stays with her parents. She has no respect for her father always complaining about him and would take his last penny in my opinion, also her mother is the same always shouting at him and putting him down I actually feel awkward when im at there house and seeing him basically take all this abuse, is this a big enough red flag to end the relationship? as she might try to treat me in this way which would never happen regards andy.
 

oldmanofthesea

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It is likely his fault for not setting boundaries with his wife and daughter, and allowing them to treat him that way. Granted, that doesn't excuse their behavior, but as to your GF, it could be a behavior she learned from her mother.

I wouldn't worry about it - set your own boundaries, and if she crosses them, you leave her in your past. The only thing that would change for me with knowing how she treats her father is that I would just be extra vigilant in setting my boundaries with her. But you should be vigilant with boundaries with anyone.
 

dude99

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Good day folks, looking for advice regarding my girlfriends relationship with her father. Me and my girl get on well have been seeing each other for a year but I don't like the way she treats her father, her parents are still together and she stays with her parents. She has no respect for her father always complaining about him and would take his last penny in my opinion, also her mother is the same always shouting at him and putting him down I actually feel awkward when im at there house and seeing him basically take all this abuse, is this a big enough red flag to end the relationship? as she might try to treat me in this way which would never happen regards andy.

No respect for him but would take his last penny if she could.

Well dude this sounds like a future "ex wife."
They dont want anything to do with the man but feel entitled to his money.

Set hard boundaries now or this could be your future.
 

AttackFormation

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Look at how she treats you when you don't tolerate any disrespect and put her in her place. Does that make her respect you or just deride you more? She is either subconsciously crying out for a man who respects himself and has a stainless steel backbone in dealing with her, or this is how she really feels about men at heart and she's a lost cause, but gauge which case it is before you dump her.
 

andy87

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Thanks guys, I've set boundaries which she seems to be happy with, as for my future I can't see me getting married so won't have to put up with the same as her father, I feel sorry for him but it's his fault for allowing it
 

Billtx49

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Can confirm



This is what she knows and what she thinks a relationship should be like.

Give her time and she will turn out like her mom.
Exactly. If she learned that behavior at a young enough age, she has no clue what good relationship behavior is. She thinks that kind of krap is Normal for a woman…
 

Black Widow Void

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The below is gold.

Look at how she treats you when you don't tolerate any disrespect and put her in her place. Does that make her respect you or just deride you more? She is either subconsciously crying out for a man who respects himself and has a stainless steel backbone in dealing with her, or this is how she really feels about men at heart and she's a lost cause, but gauge which case it is before you dump her.
 

xplt

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That is your future
Probably. My experiences are like that. She learned how to treat men at home. Doesn‘t sound like a strong father figure. This can bring you way more problems than just disrespect from her towards you.
 

Escaped24

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If nothing else don’t move in with a woman that has only lived at home. Living at home and judging her father shows life hasn’t taught her humility yet.



In my experience they have entitlement issues when it comes to paying the bills and are at best unreliable when hardships such as health issues occur.

A little humility learned from being in a tough position with no easy way out builds necessary character.
 

Blacksheep

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If she acts that way with her dad, may be worse or the same with you.

Maybe she is not like that with you right now cause you're not married, so until she got the prize (marry you), she will try be like a princess.

Example:

As a business manager, I analyze a lot of CV to hire people. Lot of them lies on CV and also on interviews, because they're interested on that job. If I'm not smart enough to realize that and don't hire the wrong person... when this person put his foot on my company, their masks will fall down. May take time, but it will happen.

Like a girl who said that has fluent english (Brazilian company btw). We've made a test with her, and on the interview she couldn't spell a word.

It seems that women only focus on getting married with a good provider. Since that happen, there is no reason to seduce you. If you divorce, you can be ****ed up.

So, just be careful man. I know you might have feelings for her and this is difficult, but in that times we must be as rational as we can.
 
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