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Recognizing negative people in your life, and how to deal with it.

2Rocky

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Lately I've recognized there are a few people I have to deal with often, even daily who seem to be downers towards other people. They are critical of other people and ideas almost by reflex.
When I mentioned a neighbor who was recognized for her volunteer role in a recent disaster
"Well I heard she really screwed some things up ..."

Commenting that someone's nice vehicle made them "just want to key it"

Consistently being critical of people around them including their SO.

I'm annoyed that this constant negativity has rubbed off on me and how I look at what I do much more critically.

I can't avoid these people. I have to work withthem daily. What is the best way of shutting down this "Crab in a Bucket" attitude?
 

Serenity

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There are a few personalities in my workplace too that feed on negativity. I've learned to ignored it, they can't be stopped anyways. I don't talk to them more than necessary to do the job, there's others I can be more positively social with. Focus on the people who remain mostly positive. The less you focus on negativity and negative people, the less likely it is to fall down into their pit.

I'm not even annoyed by these people anymore, I used to be, but that's exactly what would turn me into one of them. I can't physically shut them out, but I can direct my attention away and not get hung up by it. May take some practice, but by having a few of these people around all the time you'll get plenty of practice and eventually it's as if they don't exist.

tl;dr don't pay attention to them.
 

mrgoodstuff

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Lately I've recognized there are a few people I have to deal with often, even daily who seem to be downers towards other people. They are critical of other people and ideas almost by reflex.
When I mentioned a neighbor who was recognized for her volunteer role in a recent disaster
"Well I heard she really screwed some things up ..."

Commenting that someone's nice vehicle made them "just want to key it"

Consistently being critical of people around them including their SO.

I'm annoyed that this constant negativity has rubbed off on me and how I look at what I do much more critically.

I can't avoid these people. I have to work withthem daily. What is the best way of shutting down this "Crab in a Bucket" attitude?
Terrible
 

mrgoodstuff

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Negavity is a major ***** and there are many people filled to the brim with it. We are talking about a large percentage of the population. That negative mindset does not only have joy when you fail or not quite live up to your expectations that it knows about, it will also go out of ITS WAY to monkey wrench any plans that it knows about.

This is why it's best not to tell a single soul on the things that are truly important to you, or things that you are working on.
 

christie

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Negavity is a major ***** and there are many people filled to the brim with it. We are talking about a large percentage of the population. That negative mindset does not only have joy when you fail or not quite live up to your expectations that it knows about, it will also go out of ITS WAY to monkey wrench any plans that it knows about.

This is why it's best not to tell a single soul on the things that are truly important to you, or things that you are working on.
Yes, you're right.

I remember you saying just give out a crumb here or there but maybe that is even too much now.

Might be safe sharing with another person who keeps trying to be positive against all odds.
But then people like a mystery anyways. They like to feel triumphant at figuring you out so let them hamster away, gives them something to wonder about you.
 

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BeExcellent

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Here is what I do. Avoid negative people as much as possible. If you cannot avoid them...if they start on some negative commentary...simply listen for a moment and say one of two things depending on context:

“Oh how interesting”. Then change the subject.

“Wow that’s something else”. Then change the subject.

“Sorry to hear that/Sorry you feel that way.” Then change the subject.

Key thing is to cut off negativity in your life. Either by avoiding negative people or by stopping negative commentary.

You’ll rarely find truly successful people who are negative. So as you associate with more successful people you’ll find negative energy naturally declines in your surrounds.

Additionally you become a positive light toward people around you. When you are positive & uplifting others will gravitate toward you and seek you out. This too becomes a habituation. Attract positivity into your life and diminish negativity. Once you shut down negativity around you a few times people will learn not to pour that out onto you.

Have a Happy Healthy Positive New Year

Cheers
 

christie

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Here is what I do. Avoid negative people as much as possible. If you cannot avoid them...if they start on some negative commentary...simply listen for a moment and say one of two things depending on context:

“Oh how interesting”. Then change the subject.

“Wow that’s something else”. Then change the subject.

“Sorry to hear that/Sorry you feel that way.” Then change the subject.

Key thing is to cut off negativity in your life. Either by avoiding negative people or by stopping negative commentary.

You’ll rarely find truly successful people who are negative. So as you associate with more successful people you’ll find negative energy naturally declines in your surrounds.

Additionally you become a positive light toward people around you. When you are positive & uplifting others will gravitate toward you and seek you out. This too becomes a habituation. Attract positivity into your life and diminish negativity. Once you shut down negativity around you a few times people will learn not to pour that out onto you.

Have a Happy Healthy Positive New Year

Cheers
Good points, I screenshotted those things to say so I can use them like a script, that's kind to share.
Happy new year as well.
 

r4zorsharp

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Lately I've recognized there are a few people I have to deal with often, even daily who seem to be downers towards other people. They are critical of other people and ideas almost by reflex.
When I mentioned a neighbor who was recognized for her volunteer role in a recent disaster
"Well I heard she really screwed some things up ..."

Commenting that someone's nice vehicle made them "just want to key it"

Consistently being critical of people around them including their SO.

I'm annoyed that this constant negativity has rubbed off on me and how I look at what I do much more critically.

I can't avoid these people. I have to work withthem daily. What is the best way of shutting down this "Crab in a Bucket" attitude?
I hate people like those, but the funny thing is.. There are times that many of us who also hate these type of people, tend to act the same way.. However, when we do, we undermine it and it kinda slips past our rationale, until we see others do it. I mean I certainty don't relate with some of those things you mentioned per say, but I know that i've had times where i've been pretty negative almost nonchalantly.
 

2Rocky

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It was funny...Going through the divorce, people were kinder. Now that I'm really doing well the Debbie Downers come out in full force. Am I more aware of people being resentful when I'm doing well?

I've noticed it HAS made me more self critical too.
 

Serenity

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simply listen for a moment and say one of two things depending on context:

“Oh how interesting”. Then change the subject.

“Wow that’s something else”. Then change the subject.

“Sorry to hear that/Sorry you feel that way.” Then change the subject.
I usually default to "mhm" while picking up my phone to either check the forums or find funny memes on reddit. The funniest thing is that these people almost never react to this type of blatant disrespect, they just keep talking as if I care or even listen to it ( I checked out of it the moment I took my phone out).

I'm literally trying to demonstrate my disinterest, yet they keep going, that's how self-absorbed they are.
 

mrgoodstuff

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Yes, you're right.

I remember you saying just give out a crumb here or there but maybe that is even too much now.

Might be safe sharing with another person who keeps trying to be positive against all odds.
But then people like a mystery anyways. They like to feel triumphant at figuring you out so let them hamster away, gives them something to wonder about you.
[/QUOTE
It was funny...Going through the divorce, people were kinder. Now that I'm really doing well the Debbie Downers come out in full force. Am I more aware of people being resentful when I'm doing well?

I've noticed it HAS made me more self critical too.
I hate people like those, but the funny thing is.. There are times that many of us who also hate these type of people, tend to act the same way.. However, when we do, we undermine it and it kinda slips past our rationale, until we see others do it. I mean I certainty don't relate with some of those things you mentioned per say, but I know that i've had times where i've been pretty negative almost nonchalantly.
When we get bitter or jaded behind these types it makes us act like them. Its due to the energy transference.
 

christie

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We can be acting like that for years.... And it was what the problem was.
I see that. It takes real effort to remember good memories of failed relationships.

Its fighting the infection of the negative energy transference.

Let's face it. We're all smart DJs here.
It ended because the negativity was bringing us down. If the person/relationship was still positive, we'd be up in it still.

Valuable lessons to move forward with.
 

mrgoodstuff

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This thread reminds me of Law of Power #10, "Infection: Avoid the Unhappy and Unlucky"

The practical advice from @BeExcellent is spot on. Agree 100%.
True. The energy in time will overcome yours if you spend much time arguing with it. Contemplating it, around it.
 

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Who Dares Win

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Negative people as much as overall toxic influences have to be cut out from your life.

I dropped most of my family for that reason and good god the life is much more pleasable, kinda like leaving a smoking room and walk outside.

Negative people dont necessarily express negative opinions, they often are indirect.

Think of a kid that tells his father that he wants to be pilot and his father replies "its hard to be a pilot very few gifted people can, you should focus instead on normal jobs" or "there is plenty of people doing that, they surely dont need to wait for you".

Negative people, arrogant people, narcisistic people and angry people in general need to be put in a bag and thrown away from your life, we own sh1t to anyone let alone them.
 

Rileey

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****ing A!! I can relate to all of this, I have/had some of these negative peeps at my job. Thankfully most of them are gone, but **** for some odd reason they still tell me everything, even tho I don't care nor am I involved.
 
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mrgoodstuff

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Negative people as much as overall toxic influences have to be cut out from your life.

I dropped most of my family for that reason and good god the life is much more pleasable, kinda like leaving a smoking room and walk outside.

Negative people dont necessarily express negative opinions, they often are indirect.

Think of a kid that tells his father that he wants to be pilot and his father replies "its hard to be a pilot very few gifted people can, you should focus instead on normal jobs" or "there is plenty of people doing that, they surely dont need to wait for you".

Negative people, arrogant people, narcisistic people and angry people in general need to be put in a bag and thrown away from your life, we own sh1t to anyone let alone them.
Those folk have bags of sh1t they sling at your life.
 

San

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Most people are still stuck thinking in dualities, like all these so called master Don Juans.
A true master has gone beyond positive & negative, even beyond a self or a soul.
The master Don is attached to nothing and is free under all circumstances through understanding true freedom.

So you really don't necessarily wanna surround yourself with people who think in dualities, but instead with people who are beyond that.

Personally I get sick and annoyed by all those so called positivity gurus and praises and blames, it's only meant to beguile us all. They even make a business out of it! Sad..
 

San

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Also...everyone's definition of success is different.
For the fools who are attached to this world and its affairs.. most sadly will think that money or work or business is success.

What a small mind you have to think so foolish.
What means success for you?! And don't look at this world for the answer, but in your heart.

Forget about success, but instead become free of it!
 
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