“The 22 Psychological Triggers That Make Women Chase You… Starting Tonight”

Forget the cash, the cars, and the chiseled jawlines. Female desire operates on a completely different frequency. Primal. Subconscious. Triggers that bypass her logic and hit her on a gut level. Most guys are totally blind to them.

I know because I was one of them. The overthinking. The paralysis. The silent drive home kicking yourself for freezing up. Watching average guys walk away with the girl while you stood there stuck in your own head.

Then I decoded the psychology behind what actually makes women tick. 22 hard rules.  Subtle behavioral shifts that rewired my entire reality. The anxiety evaporated. Women started leaning in. Investing. Chasing.

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Recently divorced - feeling lost dating

h_amati

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I'm 38, married for 5 years. Separated for 4 months. Divorce will be finalized in the next few weeks. No kids.

I'm tall, good looking, in shape and have a good and interesting job. Many of my male friends tell me they're envious of my situation. 

It's just that I was with the same woman for 8 yrs. and feel uneasy when faced with the challenges of dating. My ex-wife made everything so easy for me.

A friend of mine introduced me to a woman who is very recently divorced and had been separated for a year. She is 35, didn't want kids and is very enthusiastic about triathlons. My friend tells me she just wants a man to fool around. She is currently on antidepressants and seems to be taking her divorce rather badly. She kept seeing her ex while they were separated and just cut off all contact since they signed in December.

So far we've had 4 dates. First date went great (dinner) on the second date she asked me out to the movies, third date we went on a long distance bike ride (we're both into cycling). Fourth date we went to have dinner. We've been seeing each other every week since we were introduced.

I kissed her on the second date and she was surprised but liked it. On the third date she kissed me, but I was uneasy being all sweaty from the bike ride.

The last date (the 4th), she texted me last minute that she was was coming down with a cold and would like to cancel. I texted back she should call me because I was driving. 

When she called she said she wasn't feeling well and would like to get home early. She then asked when we should reschedule our date, I responded we should wait until she was cured of her cold to set another date. 

She hesitated for a second and said that she really didn't want to cancel but was not sure about how she would feel later. We kept talking  and said she would take a couple aspirin and hope that made her feel better.

We initially agreed to meet half way (this was on a weekday), but since she wanted to get home earlier, I volunteered to drive to a restaurant near her workplace.

When I met her, I gave her a peck on the mouth, she seemed uneasy. Then we got dinner and a couple of drinks and she opened up. That morning she had seen her ex-husband in his house because some documents she needed. 

She kept on going about her ex for an hour, her divorce and her depression. Then suddenly she just stopped and changed the subject.

This is where it gets interesting, she mentioned a couple of guys from her triathlon team she is friends with. She said one of them accused her of sleeping with all the guys in her team and constantly invited her to his apartment. The second guy she mentioned is very supportive of her and helped her get through the worse of the divorce. She then proceeded to clear that she had not dated any of them. I just kept quiet.

She told me she does not want to be the typical divorcee that guys perceive like an easy lay and that she's enjoying her freedom and is not looking for a commited relationship either because it's just to soon. I agreed with her and told her I was just looking for some peace in my heart and in my mind.

She then asked me if I wanted to come riding on Saturday (which I declined) and that she was having a pool party in a couple of weeks and I should save the date.

I asked for the check, she told me she was glad she didn't cancel and thanked me for driving all the way there. She asked me to walk her to her car and she gave me a ride to mine. I kissed her and just as I started to pull away from her she grabbed me and kissed me harder using her tongue. Every time we have kissed she has this little nervous laughter.

She thanked me again and said she was glad we had seen each other and that she was feeling much better.

I told her she caught me in a good mood that day and I normally don't appreciate being cancelled at the last minute. She seemed concerned.

I don't call or text often, I don't want her to feel pressured. She responds to texts and calls immediately but does not initiate often. We can go for 3 - 4 days without contact.

I'm lost here and feel I should be making quicker progress with this woman. I just can't figure what she wants or if I'm wasting my time. I dig this girl.

Your insight on this matter will be greatly appreciated.

Many thanks.
 
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What happens, IN HER MIND, is that she comes to see you as WORTHLESS simply because she hasn't had to INVEST anything in you in order to get you or to keep you.

You were an interesting diversion while she had nothing else to do. But now that someone a little more valuable has come along, someone who expects her to treat him very well, she'll have no problem at all dropping you or demoting you to lowly "friendship" status.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

Greasy Pig

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There are so many red flags here:
1. She's on the rebound.
2. She's on medication.
3. She still talks about her ex. Do you get the impression she'd run back to him if he clicked his fingers?
4. She talks about other men around you (the triathlon guys).
5. No sex after that many dates????!!! WTF?

I think she's just craving any sort of male attention to help her feel better about herself. She's getting all that from you without having to give up the pvssy and that's drifting in to friend zone territory.

I see no other option but to escalate immediately to sex or - judging by the amount of red flags - leave her for some other poor bastard to pick up the pieces of her shattered ego.
I'd go with the latter as I think fvcking this woman will be too mentally draining and just lead to bigger issues.
 

Findog

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The best you can hope for here is a casual fling. She's made it clear she doesn't want a relationship and she's still not over her divorce.

What do you want? A girlfriend? Look elsewhere. A casual fling? Wear a condom.
 

Die Hard

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She sounds like a wounded animal, and so do you. You say you're looking for peace in your heart and your mind... Deep down, you probably hope she can help you with that, am I right? Well, she can't... This woman is BAD for you and there are some major red flags about her, like Greasy Pig pointed out.

It sounds like you're still in some sort of mental recovery process at this moment of your life. We often tend to get drawn to similar women in these moments of life... You can comfort her, she can comfort you, you're both in need of some warmth and can share it together. Very appealing but very stupid, it always leads to negative drama. This woman is no good for you, my man. To put it in a metaphor: When you've sprained your ankle and are still on the recovery, it's a bad idea to go run a marathon. Your psyche is the ankle and a relationship with this woman is the marathon...

Work on yourself, build yourself up. Find some peace in your heart and your mind OUTSIDE women. After that, go out there and once again be drawn to a woman similar to yourself. Your new self, that is!!
 

SecondHalf

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She's not ready yet, and even knowing that, she's a little bit of a nut job IMHO. Personally, I'd run.
Either get rid of her, or keep it casual while pursuing another.

Frankly h_amati, you're not there yet either?
Why the rush? You need a year or two to rid yourself of the triggers brought on by a failed marriage.
Have some fun, date a bit. Learn what's out there, you're still young.

SH
 

h_amati

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Thanks for your replies. This woman has helped start mending my shattered ego. I'm still in recovery, more than I care to admit to myself even.

I feel I'm still too sensitive to any of her responses. I'm not ready for a relationship, but I'd sure like to sleep with her.

I've had no problem with dating, kinoing or kissing her. Its just that I feel so out of practice I don't know if I'm getting where I want to with this girl or I'm falling into the friend zone.

I try to keep contact to a minimum, but I'm not sure if this is what I should be doing to get laid. She seems to respond better when I pay more attention to her.
 

SecondHalf

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Very easy solution....
Spin more plates, be attentive to all.
Its what most women do anyway.

If you date just one right now, you will fixate on her.
Get out there, do the shallow man thing.
To tell a woman that you're four months separated and looking for a relationship will be a monster red flag anyway.

SH
 

Die Hard

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You're trying to fool yourself... You hope for emotional intimacy but you see the dangers with this woman, so you tell yourself you're just going for sex. It will end badly... While you try to get into her panties, your emotional attachment to her will continue to grow towards a level where it leaves you open to get damaged by her. And she WILL damage you...

Let her go and involve yourself with SANE women. Think of it as taking one step backwards by letting this one go, but then you're gonna take TWO steps forward when you find a woman who actually offers you positive vibes. Coz trust me, this one is gonna bring you negative vibes...and they will be increasing proportional to your involvement with her.

Don't make me say I told you so...
 
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