Why "Whatever You Want" Keeps You Single

She says the movie looks dumb; you suddenly agree. She tests you with a little attitude; you apologize for nothing.

You think you're being easy to get along with. She reads something else entirely: a man with no edges. Nothing to hold on to. No friction, no tension, no reason to wonder what he really thinks.

The "22 Rules" taught me to push back — playfully, calmly, without needing her approval. Strange things happened after that.

Read more...

Recent Short Term, now Ex, wants to "talk"

FMCSMT

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Aug 8, 2017
Messages
220
Reaction score
153
We only dated a few weeks. Ghosted her for low interest on her end and then she disrespected me on Friday I think it was when I texted her she responded "who is this".

Anyway, deleted her info and blocked her right away and she has been coming through Facebook messenger the entire time, wants me to explain, doesn't want to cry any more, blamed me for ruining her night, and wants to know what she did to deserve this...on and on...cry me a river, right?

I have not responded...

She is now asking to talk after work today...

What would you guys do? Continue no contact? Talk to her?

She's hot, good career, has a kid, her own place, you know the things that should come standard but don't usually, seems legit but low interest in me and I've already not talked to her for days on end in those weeks.

I am better looking than other dudes she's been with, better positioned in life too. I've been with many over the last few years and this one is not jumping my bones like the others have and I have had hotter than her.

Surely some of you have got the message "I want to talk" and curious how you handled it?
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

Read more...

Billtx49

Master Don Juan
Joined
May 23, 2013
Messages
5,989
Reaction score
5,410
Location
DFW
Ghosted her for low interest on her end

and then she disrespected me on Friday

seems legit but low interest in me

this one is not jumping my bones like the others have

I have had hotter than her.
Given your above statements, what is there in it for you if you talk to her ?
 
Last edited:

FMCSMT

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Aug 8, 2017
Messages
220
Reaction score
153
Given your above statements, what is there in it for you if you talk to her ?
Nothing in it for me.

She will probably show up at my house tonight or tomorrow if I do not respond...
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

FMCSMT

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Aug 8, 2017
Messages
220
Reaction score
153
Would you say anything at all? Or just continue ghost
 

lamath

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 29, 2018
Messages
2,714
Reaction score
2,659
Age
45
Location
Canada
Then meet her but make it direct and short.
 

Billtx49

Master Don Juan
Joined
May 23, 2013
Messages
5,989
Reaction score
5,410
Location
DFW
Would you say anything at all? Or just continue ghost
If she shows up at your place, listen to what she has to say. Do not get into an involved discussion if you don’t like what she offers to say.
If you don’t like what she’s mouthing, cut it off with an I’ll consider it, or nice to know your thoughts response and say goodnight.
 
Last edited:

soulforge

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 1, 2013
Messages
6,239
Reaction score
4,962
Let me get this right.. Low IL, and to make matters worse, she disrespects you?

What is there to talk about.

Are you gona sit her down and explain to her like a child, how it isn't a good thing to disrespect people.

When a chick has low IL in you, she will never hesitate to disrespect you, simply because she doesn't care enough about your feelings.

Plus she is likely to dump your ass at some point for a dude she rates HIGHER

I would save yourself from future drama and Mind fuks, by remaining NC and walking the fuk away bruv
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

Read more...

BeExcellent

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 16, 2015
Messages
5,415
Reaction score
7,940
Age
57
Advice from the old lady:

People who do drivebys or show up unannounced at your place are psycho stalkers, a rather scary variety of nut job. Do you think she is going to do that - really?

I agree with @Mauser96 on his assessment 100%.

But I'm truly curious @FMCSMT about something. Why are you considering seeing her, allowing her back in contact or talking to her?

Serious question. I'm genuinely curious.
 

MatureDJ

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 30, 2006
Messages
12,705
Reaction score
5,132
We only dated a few weeks. Ghosted her for low interest on her end and then she disrespected me on Friday I think it was when I texted her she responded "who is this".

Anyway, deleted her info and blocked her right away and she has been coming through Facebook messenger the entire time, wants me to explain, doesn't want to cry any more, blamed me for ruining her night, and wants to know what she did to deserve this...on and on...cry me a river, right?

I have not responded...

She is now asking to talk after work today...

What would you guys do? Continue no contact? Talk to her?

She's hot, good career, has a kid, her own place, you know the things that should come standard but don't usually, seems legit but low interest in me and I've already not talked to her for days on end in those weeks.

I am better looking than other dudes she's been with, better positioned in life too. I've been with many over the last few years and this one is not jumping my bones like the others have and I have had hotter than her.

Surely some of you have got the message "I want to talk" and curious how you handled it?
I don't see a problem with talking to her. She is probably going to ask why you quit pursuing her, to which you can respond with "I don't know; I guess I had other stuff going on, and it just slipped my mind". You can firmly be the pursuee for now on, as you've already made the move to next her.
 

Glassguy

Moderator
Joined
Apr 25, 2016
Messages
4,789
Reaction score
8,861
Age
49
When she responded "who is this" and then later wanted to talk, I would have said "Sorry, I am meeting someone later and I will be busy". Then I would have blocked her.
If she showed up at my door I would not talk to her.

She had low interest but wanted to keep you around for a safety net or backup plan because she wants someone around and doesnt want to be alone. The problem is, you're the guy that is going to get dropped again when she finds a better option.

Maybe the new option she had didnt quite work out, so she wants to know that you're there just in case. Women do this for validation from their ex so their self esteem stays high when going through a transitional period between men. This way if the new guy ditches her, she still gets attention from you to get her by until she lines up another one.

When its over, its over. I dont know why any man would waste 5 seconds on a failed relationship when there are millions of other women out there. Its much easier to start with a blank canvas instead of trying to repair a botched one.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

Read more...

Top