Rebuilding Advice

[Buddha_Mind]

Guys, my ego and my mind is in a bit of torment right now having recently lost my relationship. I know from the information I gave in other threads I definitely made some mistakes.

I'm wondering what I can do to feel better about the whole thing and keep moving forwards. I know that ultimately bedding a few other women will help me -- but right now I still have this odd feeling in my gut and stomach that is emotional vulnerability and pain.

What can I do to move on and heal?

1. I've already removed anything that was hers/reminds me of her from my living space.
2. Am reaching out to women around me.
3. No contact.
4. Focusing on improving my financial situation and my body and getting my ass back out to Seattle and the Cascades.
5. Knocking some sense back into myself every time I 'miss her' and ruminate on lovey dovey thoughts...

I think I just need to bang some little hottie who is in her early 20's and feel better...I need to somehow bandage up this wound of the heart and seal off the hurt...

I've got to remind myself that she:
1. Constantly b.tched at me.
2. Was a definite 9, but not that great nor giving in bed.
3. Damaged goods.

And look at MY MISTAKES objectively and IMPROVE for next time. I may very well go through another 5 LTR's until I really find a woman and hone my skills enough to 'have her in the palm of my hand' if that makes sense [I am beginning to realize this is how good marriages actually work...practice and heart break lead to a skillset that basically removes the bull**** and she knows where she stands]...

Anyways, any other advice on how to heal my heart would be helpful. Guys, for as much as I have doubted SS, and will continue to combat female-based-experiential bitterness [hard to do with the callous nature of women], if every man came to this forum and read for a few days, his entire reality might be rearranged. Perhaps there is some natural fighting the mind goes through when everything it has thought it's known begins to dissolve...

 

[Mr.Positive]

Buddha, sounds like you are on the right path, imo. The biggest thing, is to accept that you do need to heal. Going out and banging a bunch of hotties, while it seems like it can help, can actually just mask the healing process and further prolong it.

Time heals everything, just understand with each day that goes by it gets easier.

If I were you, I'd make a list of all the things you'd like to do in life...and start doing them. Personal things, such as mountains to climb, places to travel to, things to see and do that you've always wanted to accomplish and experience.

Nows the time to check some of those things..off the list.

 

[Atom Smasher]

Make sure you get out and force yourself to socialize in one way or another every day, even it it's just a little small-talk here and there.

Isolation breeds madness.

 

[Buddha_Mind]

These are good words and I appreciate them. This is why I am trying to get back out to Seattle...so many mountains to climb...here in the midwest I can get to the top of a corn silo but that's about the highest vantage point (no disrespect truly to midwest, has its own form of beauty and good people here).

I thank you for your words on *not* going out immediately and banging a bunch of women...as much as I think this might help me...

I am still on no contact with her. I have felt the urge to call/email/text her and state that I miss her...but I know this will only make me appear weak...and if she truly doesn't care about me like she says...why am I wasting my time..

I really appreciate your guys words and advice...I'm afraid of how I would be right now if I didn't have a place like this to gain perspective.