Really need help with convo

[Punisha]

Hey fellow DJs and Wannabe's, once again I need help and once again it's with something ''stupid'':convo.
I cannot think of something to start convos with girls or guys.Its like my mind is empty. Now comes the weird part: I cant start convos but I keep them and make them more interesting. And theres still one last problem: groups. My schoolmates are always in groups. How Im I supposed to even get to know my mates if I cant even start a freakin convo?

Oh and plz dont say something vague like ''look around you theres always something to talk about'' cause when I do that everything seems way to stupid to talk about.

Help appreciated

Over and Out

 

[DJDamage]

I cannot think of something to start convos with girls or guys.Its like my mind is empty.

Maybe its your life that is empty and you have nothing to talk about.

 

[Nexus Polaris]

I've found that nothing is truly stupid to talk about if you make it sound exciting when you're talking about it.

I sat back at dinner a few nights ago with my friends and just listened to some of the stuff they were talking about. Usually, I just go on autopilot and tune them out and give them the necessary "yeah, uh huh" type responses.

But I really listened the other night. And they generally weren't talking about anything interesting at all.

 

[Punisha]

Maybe its your life that is empty and you have nothing to talk about.

the odds of that are....stupidly high, however there are guys with emptier lives who still have something to talk about

To Nexus Polaris: u didnt mention what they were talking about

 

[JDA70]

Sit down and write all the things down that you find annoying
or piss you off or anthing you think others could relate to
and just go up there and take over.

Just go up there and say something like " hey what's up?"
Then start talking about the stuff you wrote down.

Seriously, sit down and write out like 20 - 50 things to talk about.

 

[Punisha]

Well one of the following sentences is true:
- I really suck in convo openings
- I really suck in reading(cause i dont see anything useful in replies)
However keep it coming I might get enlightned or something.

To JDA70: the things i find annoying arent good convo topics.wars,cancer,aids...u get the point.I can however talk about guys I find annoying but thats against my personal convictions.

To mr_elor: yeah I cant go wrong with ''hey, whats up'' but I go wrong 70% of the times when the reply is something like'' nothing.u?''

 

[Snow Plowman]

It's your own mind your stuck in your head thinking about what is GOOD to say in a conversation...But...

How the hell do you know that is good for conversation? So why the hell would you have to filter things out in order to come up with something. The words aren't the important thing, its the expressiveness, tonality, energy, and emotions that are being put out there.

1. stop giving a fuk about what comes out your mouth.
2. stop thinking when your in field. STOP thinking about what to say, do, etc. Just fuking do it
3. Just do it and have fun

Practice going up to group and just rambling for 10-30 mins you'll bond to get better conversationally. Stop looking for the perfect lines because the content doesn't matter and if the content is too good it could come off pre planned and ingenuine.

You should never run out of things to say...
"Wow the floor is dirtty...maggie get the mop and start cleaning...tasha start waxing the floor...ok lets move move...this is the clean up crew I'm captain sparkly leader of the clean up crew...Hey I remember the time I slipped on the floor, have any of yall ever feel on the floor...blahblahblahblah. Any of you guys ever broke a bone...I remember I broke my neck, arms, legs, back, I was injured for 100 years until the glued me back together"

I hope you get my drift, it doesn't fuking matter, in my eyes what I just came up with above would actually get girls dieing and I almost wish I was in field to actually try that stuff out.

Just lower your standards of what comes out of your mouth. Let go of that barrier of thinking you have to say something fantastic.

 

[EFFORT]

It's your own mind your stuck in your head thinking about what is GOOD to say in a conversation...But...

How the hell do you know that is good for conversation? So why the hell would you have to filter things out in order to come up with something. The words aren't the important thing, its the expressiveness, tonality, energy, and emotions that are being put out there.

1. stop giving a fuk about what comes out your mouth.
2. stop thinking when your in field. STOP thinking about what to say, do, etc. Just fuking do it
3. Just do it and have fun

Practice going up to group and just rambling for 10-30 mins you'll bond to get better conversationally. Stop looking for the perfect lines because the content doesn't matter and if the content is too good it could come off pre planned and ingenuine.

You should never run out of things to say...
"Wow the floor is dirtty...maggie get the mop and start cleaning...tasha start waxing the floor...ok lets move move...this is the clean up crew I'm captain sparkly leader of the clean up crew...Hey I remember the time I slipped on the floor, have any of yall ever feel on the floor...blahblahblahblah. Any of you guys ever broke a bone...I remember I broke my neck, arms, legs, back, I was injured for 100 years until the glued me back together"

I hope you get my drift, it doesn't fuking matter, in my eyes what I just came up with above would actually get girls dieing and I almost wish I was in field to actually try that stuff out.

Just lower your standards of what comes out of your mouth. Let go of that barrier of thinking you have to say something fantastic.

Great advice

The action step is getting some cool clothes and going out 3-4nights a week an approaching 10chicks/groups of people a night for 2-5years. First few month just roll up there with nothing planned in your head to say other than "Whats up my name is Punisha". It'll be scary and weird at first but you just stick with it no matter what. You'll get into more conversations than u think, you'll slowly build up your conversational muscle. 5 years of that and your going to be unstoppable.

 

[PlaysToWin]

Compile a list of conversation starters. These should be things that are easy to respond to. Such as open-ended questions of general interest.

Come up with 20 or so. The more open-ended they are, the better. Then learn this list. And I'm sure you'll remember a few of them - whatever seems to apply best to the current situation - when it comes time to think up a conversation starter.

Do you read newpapers / listen to the radio? There are always people talking about interesting topical stuff. Lots of material here if you keep yourself informed and up to speed with what's going on.

 

[Punisha]

Im starting to get the picture.
Yes I do read newspaper but its mostly bullsh!t.politics,sport,childs gone missing(e.g. Mckann) forest fires...not something guys/girls of my age like to talk about.

To PlysToWin: can you give me a simple example?I have a freakin bad habit of always talking to the point and I dont really understand what an open-ended question is.

To Snow Plowman: I get your point and I would try to ramble around for 30mins if I could ramble for more than 5 minutes in a one-on-one situation.yeah I know looks stupid, sounds stupid, it is stupid but I just cant seem to talk to most people. Fast example: bus takes around 30 mins from school to my home.I took it with a friend I've known for 3 months.Only 3 words came out of my mouth the whole time: see you tomorrow.Any advice on that?

To mr_elor: I feel'ya and actually I got some random idea on replies to that.Cheers to you mate