Really like her but its going nowhere?

[Oddman]

I've known this cute girl for 10 months and have feelings for her, we kissed a year ago and she acted like my girl when we worked together. We spent 6 months stuck together having a laugh and flirt(hands on her big butt) lol it was romantic but coworkers started to gossip and she hated it so after 6 months she told them she had a boyfriend which caused problems for me because she never told me that.

The lasted like a week then I got fired for making a mistake due to the entire workforce being hostile to me. So that was in October, and my heart was killing me not seeing her and staying in contact. There was another part time job where I saw her a few times in November, and when I did she looked really sad and had tears in her eyes.

She had feelings (crying,called me everyday for the first 2 months) but told me it wasn't the right time because that she missed her ex of 5 years and isn't over him but she also has a profile on a dating site so maybe she was trying to let me down gently. I don't work with her no more so phone conversation is awkward and I feel frustrated and when I call I think "What's the point?"

Before xmas we spoke about 3 times a week but I gave her space. So my problem is, I REALLY like her, want to see her but when I suggest she seems to put it off. I don't suggest date,location time because she never says "I'm free" or anything. Just that she will let me know or gives some excuse :/

In person our eyes would lock on when we sat next to eachother and her cheeks would go red and eyes squint so she seemed really into me. It's the past now but it saddens me we can't work together no more and I don't want to abandon her.

 

[PrettyBoyAJ]

You got fired over this broad. You need to be focusing on how to get your paper up. Not this broad.

 

[Oddman]

Still have another part time job. What happened mostly was everyone gossiping really. There were times she would be standing with me or in front looking back, puppy eyes and **** and dudes would be laughing at the side while we were watching eachother. Not long after that she was trying to keep her distance. The girl was with me at work for 6 months, practically stuck together we were.

 

[PrettyBoyAJ]

But you never hit it playa. That doesn't mean anything. You must lead girls. Girls want to be lead. If you liked the girl you ask her out. and if she wanted to be with you she would have found a way to be with you. It seems like you have already been rejected though. Your just lingering there like a simp.

 

[floydb25]

Sounds like a tease / attention *****. They know how to turn on the charm, flirting, and give just enough hope to keep you around - without doing anything with you. You could also be a back-up plan. Yeah, I'm sure she's different; you have such great chemistry.

Gotta focus on the facts. Either you're dating, together, getting physical, or not. None of the fluff inbetween matters. If someone is into you - theyll date you. You guys allow yourself to be played - by clinging onto false hope, and making things out to be bigger than they are. It's not complicated - you only make it that way.

 

[perseverance]

This woman is more hassle than she's worth. She's rejected you a few times and still you don't get the message. Why? She even has a dating profile which should tell you that she is looking to date men, yet still rejects you with some lame excuse about her ex. This woman will never date you, so just save yourself effort and time and accept this, the sooner you do so, the sooner you can move on.

Men are very quick to blame women for their shortcomings, but the truth is this woman has stated that she isn't interested, this fella keeps banging his head against a brick wall. Men need to take responsibility for themselves, you can't keep blaming women for their errors.

1) You never under any circumstances mix work with pleasure.

2) You must accept rejection.

Floyd's post sums up this situation nicely.

 

[Oddman]

I do try but like you say she comes with her bait reeling me in.

Called her up the other day and she told me she was having a drink and how "I don't know what she could do to me"

 

[HighResurrection]

I do try but like you say she comes with her bait reeling me in.

Called her up the other day and she told me she was having a drink and how "I don't know what she could do to me"

Dude stop and listen. Like it has been said don't date women at the place you collect cash. A man has a stronger focus then just one girl. You have to be a man on a mission. The confidence you have from your mission gives you interactions with multiple females. If you don't like how one is treating you don't waste your time. Do some approaches get your emotions more in check, in term of rejection . :trouble:

 

[floydb25]

Oddman: but you don't have to keep taking it - knowing what the result is going to be. No, she's not coming around; you're not making progress. You gotta think about how far you actually made it. A kiss several months ago? That's nothing. This girl isn't worth the trouble. What are YOU getting out of this? Nothing.

She's going to keep coming back, and becoming defensive when you try to move on or date others - for HER. Nothing she is doing is for you. You're in the chump zone right now. She wants your interest on her - without doing anything for you. Don't wait around for her to decide if you are good enough. She can't control you. Don't let her.

 

[Oddman]

You're right.

As AFC as it sounds though, I care alot bout her. She reminds of me, and being a bit older than her I wish I could there for her. After speaking for one year do you think trying friendship is worth it or impossible? I do feel for her but my patience is kinda making those feelings fade a bit. I would like to keep her around but don't know how often to contact her as I usually would her 3 times a week.

She gave me like some form of **** test three weeks ago asking me to go for a christmas drink, she caught me off guard I was busy when I picked up the phone and not feeling myself and my voice all nervous and I think she took it like I wasn't interest.

I suggest a day and she was like "shall I let you know" I continued talking away saying to her if she couldn't do that day I had the next week off. I asked on her on the day and she made some BS reason why she couldn't meet me and abruptly said "we will both figure out when we are free" she then used christmas as a excuse. I have no seen her for 2 months now.

 

[floydb25]

She's just playing games, dude... Likely because you allow it, and she knows she has you. Power corrupts, and people love to have it. She'll probably go ape**** once you take it away, but too bad.

You are not her #1 priority, but you are making her yours. Stop falling for her lines and excuses. Accept the reality of what's going on. You're just torturing yourself over someone who doesn't care. Man up. You are better than this.

 

[ChalengeGuyFan]

These guys are saying "remove her from your life", Oddman.
You just don't seem to get it.

Don't worry, others will come.

 

[GameTime76]

She has medium to low interest. Keep your eyes peeled for other women. Its good to have multiple girls on your mind.