So i go to a boarding school and there is this girl their that i became decent but not super close friends with and i really like her. I was going to ask her to winterball, but i wimped out at the last second. For the past month, shes been giving me mixed signals. Whenever we have assembly, she sits behind me and always asks what we did in history class (i have it in the morning and i guess she has it after) that day even tho the kid that sits right next to her also has history class with me also. Sometimes, shell yell my name when im walking and go out of her way to say hi to me. Also, the other day in her dorm i was just chilling with a friend and she came over and randomly sat on my lap, did not say a word, and then just got up and started talking with other people. Alot of times shell ignore me though, and sometimes see even seems a little annoyed when i try to talk to her. I really like her and i dont know how she feels at all or how to express my feelings. what should I do?
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
Really like girl no idea what to do in situation
- Thread starter maddog13
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“The 22 Psychological Triggers That Make Women Chase You… Starting Tonight”
Forget the cash, the cars, and the chiseled jawlines. Female desire operates on a completely different frequency. Primal. Subconscious. Triggers that bypass her logic and hit her on a gut level. Most guys are totally blind to them.
I know because I was one of them. The overthinking. The paralysis. The silent drive home kicking yourself for freezing up. Watching average guys walk away with the girl while you stood there stuck in your own head.
Then I decoded the psychology behind what actually makes women tick. 22 hard rules. Subtle behavioral shifts that rewired my entire reality. The anxiety evaporated. Women started leaning in. Investing. Chasing.
NorwegianDJ
Master Don Juan
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I'd say she might've liked you, but is losing interest due to you not pulling your ball outta your mangina.
Take action now. Either you'll get her, or you will be finished with wondering about her.
Take action now. Either you'll get her, or you will be finished with wondering about her.
Igetit!
Moderator
Mistake #1....maddog13 said:So i go to a boarding school and there is this girl their that i became decent but not super close friends with and i really like her.
Don't know why you became friends with her first,then afterwards decided to try to go and get something romantic started.
You should have been flirting,teasing,negging,and asking her out within the first few days of knowing her. To become friends (close or not) first,then to do the romantic thing later,makes things harder on you.
The longer you go without being flirty/romantic/sexual with her,the GREATER THE CHANCE that you'll NEVER date her.maddog13 said:I was going to ask her to winterball, but i wimped out at the last second.
The more time that passes by,the more she gets used to you NOT BEING SEXUAL. Then when you do finally decide to show your romantic side,it'll make her uncomfortable,because it'll be a side of you she's never seen before.
She's giving you mixed signals because YOU are giving her mixed signals.maddog13 said:For the past month, shes been giving me mixed signals.
You like her,right? But you keep trying to hide how you feel. Somehow and in someway,the REAL YOU,the one that likes her is coming out.
On some level,she can "sense" that you like her. So she sees that,but you keep trying to hide that side behind being "friends",and the friends side,she sees that as well. You're giving off friendship vibes,but she can sense you like her,and those are mixed signals.
Well all she's doing is giving back to you that you're giving to her whether you realize it or not.
Sorry,looks like you're in the friendzone kid.maddog13 said:Whenever we have assembly, she sits behind me and always asks what we did in history class (i have it in the morning and i guess she has it after) that day even tho the kid that sits right next to her also has history class with me also. Sometimes, shell yell my name when im walking and go out of her way to say hi to me. Also, the other day in her dorm i was just chilling with a friend and she came over and randomly sat on my lap, did not say a word, and then just got up and started talking with other people. Alot of times shell ignore me though, and sometimes see even seems a little annoyed when i try to talk to her. I really like her and i dont know how she feels at all or how to express my feelings.
All the stuff you said here.....
her yelling your name
you being in her dorm room
her sitting in your lap
She's doing all that stuff because she comfortable with you,TOO COMFORTABLE. If she liked and wanted to date you,she'd at least have some uncomfortableness around you in the form of nervousness.
She seems completely relaxed and at ease around you. If you ask her out on a date,and I mean a ROMANTIC date,the second you do that,all that comfort she has will probably be out the window and she'll become uneasy around you,and NOT the "good" kind.
Well.....you can ask her out,but be prepared to lose her as a friend. If you don't want to lose the friendship,then you'll probably need to pursue someone else.maddog13 said:what should I do?
I dont really want to pursue some one else I really like this girl tho and i understand i dont get it im just so stupid with this **** sometimes. O another thing this is kind of wierd i dont get it but for some reason ill always end up making eye contact with her out of nowhere (sometimes i didnt even know she was there) and im not like a ladies man at my school im popular with most of the girls in my grade but thats because they think im hilarious not in a sexual kind of way.Igetit! said:Mistake #1....
Don't know why you became friends with her first,then afterwards decided to try to go and get something romantic started.
You should have been flirting,teasing,negging,and asking her out within the first few days of knowing her. To become friends (close or not) first,then to do the romantic thing later,makes things harder on you.
The longer you go without being flirty/romantic/sexual with her,the GREATER THE CHANCE that you'll NEVER date her.
The more time that passes by,the more she gets used to you NOT BEING SEXUAL. Then when you do finally decide to show your romantic side,it'll make her uncomfortable,because it'll be a side of you she's never seen before.
She's giving you mixed signals because YOU are giving her mixed signals.
You like her,right? But you keep trying to hide how you feel. Somehow and in someway,the REAL YOU,the one that likes her is coming out.
On some level,she can "sense" that you like her. So she sees that,but you keep trying to hide that side behind being "friends",and the friends side,she sees that as well. You're giving off friendship vibes,but she can sense you like her,and those are mixed signals.
Well all she's doing is giving back to you that you're giving to her whether you realize it or not.
Sorry,looks like you're in the friendzone kid.
All the stuff you said here.....
her yelling your name
you being in her dorm room
her sitting in your lap
She's doing all that stuff because she comfortable with you,TOO COMFORTABLE. If she liked and wanted to date you,she'd at least have some uncomfortableness around you in the form of nervousness.
She seems completely relaxed and at ease around you. If you ask her out on a date,and I mean a ROMANTIC date,the second you do that,all that comfort she has will probably be out the window and she'll become uneasy around you,and NOT the "good" kind.
Well.....you can ask her out,but be prepared to lose her as a friend. If you don't want to lose the friendship,then you'll probably need to pursue someone else.
Igetit!
Moderator
So you don't want anybody else,you want this girl.maddog13 said:I dont really want to pursue some one else I really like this girl
Ok then,go ask her out. I'm just letting you know that the odds are NOT IN YOUR FAVOR because you're ALREADY FRIENDS with her.
She's known you for a while. She's comfortable with you. When you ask her out,she's going to see your SEXUAL/ROMANTIC side,a side she's NEVER SEEN.
And when she sees a side of you she's never seen before,SHE IS GOING TO GET UNCOMFORTABLE. If you had flirted and complimented her FROM THE BEGINNING when you first met her,everything would be cool,but you didn't.
You planned on asking her out to this "winterball" thing,but then you "wimped" out. You keep on and on hiding your romantic side.
I'm telling you.......the LONGER you hide your romatic side,THE MORE she gets used to NOT SEEING IT. Then one day,when you finally do get up the courage to ask her out,she's going to feel weird.
A boyfriend is DIFFERENT from a friend. So if you try to date her,you're going to have to start acting and behaving DIFFERENT. You can't go from being friends to dating and still act and behave exactly the same as before.
Your behavior WILL HAVE TO CHANGE. You'll have to act more manly,more dominant in order for her to be attracted to you.
So the way you act with her NOW will have to change,and THAT CHANGE is what will make her uncomfortable because she's not used to you acting like a boyfriend,she's used to you acting like a friend.
Do you understand what I'm trying to say?
You and her are FRIENDS.
You want to stop being "friends",and be her BOYFRIEND.
IF YOU DO THAT,you'll have to change the way you act around her,and THAT CHANGE (YOU ACTING LIKE HER BOYFRIEND) is what will make her uncomfortable because she's never seen THE BOYFRIEND SIDE of you.
It'll be weird for you to start trying to hug,kiss,or do something sexual with her when you've never done anything like that to her THE ENTIRE TIME you've known each other.
Dude,you should be happy. At least you found this forum while you're still in school. There are some whacky people here,but overall,a lot of the advice here is dead on.maddog13 said:i dont get it im just so stupid with this **** sometimes.
Trust me,there's NO PROBLEM you bring to this forum that can't be fixed.
I know you're stuck on asking this girl out and don't want to pursue someone else. Ok,then go ask her out. Just know that there's a good chance you'll lose her as a friend when you do so.
"She's Out of Your League"
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
I was thinking about just telling her my feelings but i dont know. Im friends with the majority of the girls in my class (they all think im funny) and i go to a really small school so im not really looked at in a sexual kind of way and thats my problem. Shes not a girl i look at as an object tho i really like her shes really pretty but it goes beyond that.Igetit! said:So you don't want anybody else,you want this girl.
Ok then,go ask her out. I'm just letting you know that the odds are NOT IN YOUR FAVOR because you're ALREADY FRIENDS with her.
She's known you for a while. She's comfortable with you. When you ask her out,she's going to see your SEXUAL/ROMANTIC side,a side she's NEVER SEEN.
And when she sees a side of you she's never seen before,SHE IS GOING TO GET UNCOMFORTABLE. If you had flirted and complimented her FROM THE BEGINNING when you first met her,everything would be cool,but you didn't.
You planned on asking her out to this "winterball" thing,but then you "wimped" out. You keep on and on hiding your romantic side.
I'm telling you.......the LONGER you hide your romatic side,THE MORE she gets used to NOT SEEING IT. Then one day,when you finally do get up the courage to ask her out,she's going to feel weird.
A boyfriend is DIFFERENT from a friend. So if you try to date her,you're going to have to start acting and behaving DIFFERENT. You can't go from being friends to dating and still act and behave exactly the same as before.
Your behavior WILL HAVE TO CHANGE. You'll have to act more manly,more dominant in order for her to be attracted to you.
So the way you act with her NOW will have to change,and THAT CHANGE is what will make her uncomfortable because she's not used to you acting like a boyfriend,she's used to you acting like a friend.
Do you understand what I'm trying to say?
You and her are FRIENDS.
You want to stop being "friends",and be her BOYFRIEND.
IF YOU DO THAT,you'll have to change the way you act around her,and THAT CHANGE (YOU ACTING LIKE HER BOYFRIEND) is what will make her uncomfortable because she's never seen THE BOYFRIEND SIDE of you.
It'll be weird for you to start trying to hug,kiss,or do something sexual with her when you've never done anything like that to her THE ENTIRE TIME you've known each other.
Dude,you should be happy. At least you found this forum while you're still in school. There are some whacky people here,but overall,a lot of the advice here is dead on.
Trust me,there's NO PROBLEM you bring to this forum that can't be fixed.
I know you're stuck on asking this girl out and don't want to pursue someone else. Ok,then go ask her out. Just know that there's a good chance you'll lose her as a friend when you do so.
Igetit!
Moderator
maddog13 said:I was thinking about just telling her my feelings
NO!!!!!
Dude,don't EVER tell a girl your feelings.
You'll kill your chances FOR SURE doing that.
Don't EVER tell a girl "how you feel",and that's not a joke either,I'm SERIOUS.
If you want to ask her out,then ask her out,but DON'T SAY ANYTHING about "feelings". Just tell her you're going to so and so place,and invite her to come along.
I still think you shouldn't ask her out because it looks like you're friendzoned to me,but if you're going to do it anyway,at least do it right.
When I say "sexual" I'm NOT TALKING ABOUT SEX,I mean all that things leading up to it such as.....but i dont know. Im friends with the majority of the girls in my class (they all think im funny) and i go to a really small school so im not really looked at in a sexual kind of way and thats my problem. Shes not a girl i look at as an object tho i really like her shes really pretty but it goes beyond that.
flirting
teasing
giving a girl a compliment
and asking a girl out on a date
That's what I mean by "sexual". If you do those things,then girls will be attracted to you and want to date you.....BUT....
You need to do them WHEN YOU FIRST MEET A GIRL,WHEN YOU HARDLY KNOW HER. That way,she gets comfortable with you being flirty and sexual,and it won't make her feel weird.
She won't feel weird because you'll have been acting like that the whole time she's known you.
Alright,it's past my bedtime. Again,you want to ask her out,then go ask her out...not with that "feelings" nonsense,but like a MAN.
Invite her out bowling,or for a walk in the park,something simple.
I'm STILL AGAINST you doing this,but good luck anyway.