Really feel like I need a break from all this...

[FutureSpartan]

Hey guys....

Have you ever just felt frustrated at times how difficult it is to maintain a healthy dating/sex life while at the same time trying to juggle school, career, social, and health goals?

I am still a relatively inexperienced DJ (only had 1 LTR) but I have made great strides in being able to approach and number-close the girls I like without anxiety and hesitation....its just after that I can't seem to move past that initial meet on a consistent basis.

I have ambitious career goals I would like to meet by the end of this year...and I would like to continue improving my game...but sometimes I feel like my constant failures in dating are dragging me down in other areas...I focus more on trying to get laid and as a result my focus in other areas drag down.

Its gotten to a point where I just feel burned out and want to just throw in the towel for a while...just take a break from all this girl-chasing. My state of mind is so out of whack right now from trying to get school done and career started, on top of trying to get my sh*t together overall...that this non-productive girl chasing throws me off my focus.

I know this would mean going from a 1 in 15 chance of a date to a 0, but maybe its worth it?? What do you guys think??

 

[Zaraza]

For me,

A DJ is a man who knows what he wants in life, works to get it, believes in himself. You seem to have that. You know you want your career, you are working to get it, and you are believing in yourself because you are questioning taking a break from women.

Some will disagree with me, but i say yes. Take a break. Your not supposed to put women ahead of YOUR life. They will come, the more you love what you are doing. The more pleasure you recieve from achieving in your life, the more people notice that in your character.

Your body language will change, your attitude will change. It will attract more people.

If you feel like you need a break, you need a break.

 

[Mike32ct]

I agree. There is nothing wrong with taking breaks from women to focus on something important to you such as your career. If anything it will help your game in the long run and make you more confident.

 

[Accension]

It's like this.
You invest all this time into trying to get this area of your life sorted.
The promised land finally comes and you realise it's just not that important.

Looking at all this, it's all a bit of a joke really.
When you get it, it's laughably easy so I come here to help.
I see no need to prioritise women but I've had a bit of a taste and you can't really tell yourself to not be hungry unless you've had something to eat.

Don't completely ignore it because we both know it's one of your goals but don't put it before more important things.

 

[FutureSpartan]

Thanks for the responses guys....

Its weird because I hung out with two different girls this week...and both of them seem to like me...and I should feel happy I got to enjoy the company of two cute girls. I am doing well for myself physically, eating right, working out.

But I still lack a masculine sense of self...my ways of thinking are still messed up. I obsess over being a "ladies man" I worry about how people perceive me still, I let these thoughts interfere with my ability to focus on studying, paying attention in class, getting errands done, getting out of the house to socialize, taking up desired hobbies etc...

I am a 22 year old man...but sometimes I still think like a 16 year old boy. One part of me says..."forget girls! focus on you! be a man and grow up!"

The other puts a fear in me that if I don't continue approaching and gaming...I'll be the successful business guy that can't get a gf for the life of him.

where can i find this balance??

 

[Bible_Belt]

Are you really having fun? If you don't have girls, then probably not. If all you care about is having a good time, you will always have plenty of women.

 

[everywomanshero]

I prefer to fail getting laid in the real world to fail getting laid by not thinking about it. This is not zen **** man that you are doing here. The women will chase you once you believe they will chase you and have the experience to back it up. Until you get that experience you may need to push the envelope, I did. In fact If I told you all the ways I got laid before women chased me in numbers, you would not believe it. You would think surely no one really did all that, he must be exagerating a little! But it's all part of the learning process. Enjoy but I encourage you to not accept mediocrity and dabbling. Become an expert and an artist. This is an art worth practicing

 

[FutureSpartan]

I prefer to fail getting laid in the real world to fail getting laid by not thinking about it. This is not zen **** man that you are doing here. The women will chase you once you believe they will chase you and have the experience to back it up. Until you get that experience you may need to push the envelope, I did. In fact If I told you all the ways I got laid before women chased me in numbers, you would not believe it. You would think surely no one really did all that, he must be exagerating a little! But it's all part of the learning process. Enjoy but I encourage you to not accept mediocrity and dabbling. Become an expert and an artist. This is an art worth practicing

Thanks man! I agree with what you say...I enjoy making approaches and pushing the envelope. At parties and social events, I am almost guaranteed to make approaches...its like autopilot for me. I still have a little anxiety in cold approaching but I can push through it. I need to keep practicing and look at this whole game in terms of mastering it, rather than trying to "get laid by this girl" outcome orientation.

 

[everywomanshero]

Almost always being too timid is the biggest problem I see. It does happen very rarely that a guy is too forward. I'm not suggesting being "in your face" but I am suggesting that you be willing to to try try and try again.

One night early in my career of practicing this fine art it took me forever to **** this stripper. I actually resorted to playing "the evil hand" game. It worked too, I ate her ***** and ****ed her on the spot. Is that artistry? I say yes actually! I was in a difficult spot that 999 out of 1000 guys would've just given up on yet the artist painted a peice that will last a lifetime in his mind's eye and not only did she have me back over but made dinner for me the next time. Of course she ended up being nuts but the experience was still one of my great ones. Done properly a man of average looks can taste the some of the finest ***** the world has to offer but there is a price for admission, and for most it won't come easy in the beginning.

How can you find them? Who can take you to smaller surrounding towns and houses where there are bars/parties/gatherings? Which bars have the kind of women you like to mingle with? Are you looking for MILFS, country girls, college chicks, or a smorgasboard? I suggest trying them all, some of my successes came from places that weren't what I thought was me at all. Employ different methods and see what happens but the biggest thing I challenge you to do is push the interactions further than you think you should/can. The only way you will know is by testing the boundaries. A lot of women like the man to be in charge regarding anything sexual and I can't tell you how many I've had that actually wanted me to call them dirty sluts and all that business... funny thing is these women were professional, well off, and the type most guys try to do just the opposite with! There are other women who find that appauling. I know the difference without them ever saying a word. Eventually, you will have to start screening them out. For example I only **** married women who want sex on the side. Now you might think that limits the kind of caliber of chicks I am banging, but not so at all. I sleep with beautiful women, really beautiful MILF types and many of them have mucho deniro. You will find a niche too I am sure.