reality check

[thedeparted]

hello DJs,

I used to post here a few years ago, I can't remember what my handle was, but I was a big KBJ and AFC. Then I got some DJ shlt going and eventually got me a woman, pretty tasty one, too. Well, the bltch recently left (thank god). So I've been recycling from AFC over again and want to get a reality check.

Now, the 1st thing I noticed is that my confidence definitely fell into the shltter. I used to be walking around with the eye candy, other dudes wanted to check it out. I could approach any woman then. Now that I am alone, not so...

So, I started online (majorly wussy, I know) and got a whole lot of play (unlike the old days). However, all of these women sucked in real life, and I don't mean my dlck. I quickly recalled that online is a shlt pond, one way or the other, and it gets you addicted to checking your inbox way too much.

However, I am 34, and I want to find a COMPATIBLE hoebag (they are all hoebags, imo) to cook my meals, admire my accomplishments, and even, god forbid, have some intelligent conversation. So I feel like the cold approach -- which got me the last one -- is not going to deliver on that, b/c I am a fairly odd-duck. That is why I got online. To match up on personality, interests, etc. So this time it would not melt down.

Bla bla bla ... bla bla bla... I sound like a b'tch. Ha ha

Anyway, I don't know what the point of this post is. I've gone out with some interesting women that I put in the friend-zone b/c they were ugly. I met some hot young babes online that fascinated me -- artists, musicians, actresses, etc. -- but they flaked on the date or didn't follow-up (they like my email, not my face, I guess). And I've got a stable of 40ish cougars hungry for my man meat if I decide to throw myself into that den of flabby middle-age hell-cats (haven't yet).

So, I basically realize that this despite all this froth and churn I am basically getting no place. Which is somewhat depressing.

(I'm gonna continue this post below)

 

[iqqi]

You know how they say finding a job is a job?

So is finding the right woman. Or any woman that is compatible enough.

It doesn't have to do with your age. You need to put yourself in the line of opportunity. And keep the lines of communication open with your "reject pile", anyone could be that potention one degree of separation between you and your ideal h0ebag.

I personally find you funny, and you remind me of Billy Bob Thornton with your slight insanity. That's hot.

 

[thedeparted]

Thanks iqqi, good to know that CRAZEEE works for some chicks :rockon:

Anyway, yeah, it is a fvcking job here. But if there is an Angelina Jolie at the end of it, then rock on.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go masturbate to the thought of me and a hot bltch with big lips and 12 adopted kids (which it will be by the time I get to her), and think I'll throw in the pretty-little pint-size actress I met at my bank who hit me up after I left with both a personal letter, then an email, then a gallup customer satisfaction survey, and then today _another_ email asking me to come back in and sign some more documents "at my conviniance". She sure is pretty, even if she's taller sitting down than standing up, but I hope her math is better than her spelling...

 

[thedeparted]

oh yeah, one more thing to pump me up before I go. there was this chick online who I thought was hot and she wanted an "abrasive" guy, which is me in spades. but he had to live within 30 min's and be under 30 yo. for "logistical" reasons. so I wrote to her:

"hey, hot chick bla bla bla c&f etc.

"btw, I am 30-four, and I live 30 minutes and an HOUR away, and if that doesn't work with your under 30 obsession then do NOT write back."

and of course, like a charm, she writes back and says that she "is charmed" and gives me her number, and wants a date that week. so that was cool. but then she wanted to know more about me, and I let slip how I liked to spank my ex and suck her titz for at least two hours a day, and that scared her away. who knew?

so, note to self: girls love that shlt, but they hate to admit it, so save the t and a for the actual date, dumbazz

buh bye

 

[iqqi]

^^^^^ and....

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go masturbate to the thought of me and a hot bltch with big lips and 12 adopted kids (which it will be by the time I get to her), and think I'll throw in the pretty-little pint-size actress I met at my bank who hit me up after I left with both a personal letter, then an email, then a gallup customer satisfaction survey, and then today _another_ email asking me to come back in and sign some more documents "at my conviniance". She sure is pretty, even if she's taller sitting down than standing up, but I hope her math is better than her spelling...

You are hilarious, and I am charmed too.

About your pint size actress banker, you know, they say the best things come in the smallest packages.

Do you have a british accent? Cuz then I'd really be smitten...

 

[ketostix]

thedeparted=iqqi

 

[iqqi]

^^^ Someone is jealous.

 

[KontrollerX]

*Laughs*

Iqqi you been cheatin on me again girl?

Don't make me go Ike Turner on yo ass!!! :box:

:crackup:

 

[iqqi]

*Laughs*



:box:

:crackup:

Are you bipolar!?

 

[Bonhomme]

However, I am 34, and I want to find a COMPATIBLE hoebag (they are all hoebags, imo) to cook my meals, admire my accomplishments, and even, god forbid, have some intelligent conversation. So I feel like the cold approach -- which got me the last one -- is not going to deliver on that, b/c I am a fairly odd-duck. That is why I got online. To match up on personality, interests, etc. So this time it would not melt down.

Hmmm .... it seems to me that an "odd-duck" is not likely to fare so well in a venue in which people are looking for perfect matches.

But then, a few people do win the lottery...

 

[Paradox]

Um....thread closed.