Recently, I started seeing a woman who I'd like to pursue a relationship with--she's beautiful, funny, intelligent, and on top of it all, genuinely warm and caring.
We've gone out four times, we have a lot in common, and we've developed quite a solid rapport.
However, as we've all come to learn, none of the above will prevent a woman from laying down a hard-core sh*t-test at some point. And I get the feeling that if a woman actually likes you, she'll test you relatively soon to see if she's wasting her time with a pushover.
Anyway, here's the example:
I called her the other day and told her I thought it would be fun if we went ice-skating. She sounded very enthused, and told me she'd be off work Wednesday and Saturday (she works as a server during evenings.)
So, I made the plans for Wednesday, and we left it at that. We planned to meet at an ice rink roughly halfway between where she and I live (we live about 40 minutes apart.)
Today, the day we were supposed to skate, I got home from work and hopped online for a minute. I noticed that her status on IM said "at work," which meant she would be there all night--a night she told me she was off, and a night we'd made plans for. She never called to say she'd be working and that she wouldn't be able to make it.
This was it, I figured. This was her first major test:
"Operation Pushover: How Will He React?"
I was pissed, but I gathered my thoughts for a few minutes and
thought about how to handle it. I didn't want to call her at work, given the nature of her job, so I sent her the following text-message:
"Work, huh? Either you're testing me or dropping a hint, because you knew we had plans to go ice skating tonight. A courtesy call would have been appreciated. I don't demand much--just respect. Take care."
It's relatively mild, but it still lets her know that A.) She disrespected me, and B.) She blew it, and I'm not afraid to say 'sayonara.'
She called me back ten minutes after I sent that message, apologized profusely three times, and gave me the old, "I read the schedule wrong" excuse--she thought she was off Wednesday, but found out at the last minute it was Thursday.
Whatever. I wasn't really interested in her excuse--I was interested in how she would respond to my expressed displeasure with her actions.
After apologizing, she asked what time I got out of work tomorrow, and that she'd drive up to my place.
So, I view tomorrow as her opportunity to prove herself worthy of MY time. I'll gauge it by how she acts, but she certainly sounded contrite when she called me today--and that's the response I expected.
All in all, I figure if that WASN'T a test, she wouldn't have bothered calling me back right away, if at all. She'd have just ignored my message and moved on.
In my mind, I passed her little test. And with that, I urge all of you to keep doing what you've already learned--stay calm and in control, but be firm and up-front. If a woman responds positively to that, she's passed YOUR little test.
We've gone out four times, we have a lot in common, and we've developed quite a solid rapport.
However, as we've all come to learn, none of the above will prevent a woman from laying down a hard-core sh*t-test at some point. And I get the feeling that if a woman actually likes you, she'll test you relatively soon to see if she's wasting her time with a pushover.
Anyway, here's the example:
I called her the other day and told her I thought it would be fun if we went ice-skating. She sounded very enthused, and told me she'd be off work Wednesday and Saturday (she works as a server during evenings.)
So, I made the plans for Wednesday, and we left it at that. We planned to meet at an ice rink roughly halfway between where she and I live (we live about 40 minutes apart.)
Today, the day we were supposed to skate, I got home from work and hopped online for a minute. I noticed that her status on IM said "at work," which meant she would be there all night--a night she told me she was off, and a night we'd made plans for. She never called to say she'd be working and that she wouldn't be able to make it.
This was it, I figured. This was her first major test:
"Operation Pushover: How Will He React?"
I was pissed, but I gathered my thoughts for a few minutes and
thought about how to handle it. I didn't want to call her at work, given the nature of her job, so I sent her the following text-message:
"Work, huh? Either you're testing me or dropping a hint, because you knew we had plans to go ice skating tonight. A courtesy call would have been appreciated. I don't demand much--just respect. Take care."
It's relatively mild, but it still lets her know that A.) She disrespected me, and B.) She blew it, and I'm not afraid to say 'sayonara.'
She called me back ten minutes after I sent that message, apologized profusely three times, and gave me the old, "I read the schedule wrong" excuse--she thought she was off Wednesday, but found out at the last minute it was Thursday.
Whatever. I wasn't really interested in her excuse--I was interested in how she would respond to my expressed displeasure with her actions.
After apologizing, she asked what time I got out of work tomorrow, and that she'd drive up to my place.
So, I view tomorrow as her opportunity to prove herself worthy of MY time. I'll gauge it by how she acts, but she certainly sounded contrite when she called me today--and that's the response I expected.
All in all, I figure if that WASN'T a test, she wouldn't have bothered calling me back right away, if at all. She'd have just ignored my message and moved on.
In my mind, I passed her little test. And with that, I urge all of you to keep doing what you've already learned--stay calm and in control, but be firm and up-front. If a woman responds positively to that, she's passed YOUR little test.
textbook stuff.