Ready to Change....TODAY

[pinhas]

Hello,

I am new to this forum, and to the DJ life style as a whole. I found this site a few days ago, and now I decided to join and partake in the discussions, as I myself have many questions to ask and many things to learn.

I am 23 years old and I live in Brooklyn, NY, I recently broke up with my latest girlfriend; who I dated for a year and half and enjoyed every moment. I am now again single and enjoying it, but I also noticed that I am now at a disadvantage when it comes to meeting women. After some thought, I realized that my attitude towards the “game” is flawed, and I think it is due to my personality and my social upbringing. I came to the US when I was 15, and attended college in Manhattan, which was great, but I do feel I missed out on the college/dorm experience. I was also a “heavy clubber” as I was growing up, and spent most of my time going out to clubs. Most of the girls I met/been with I met in a club setting, where I believe dance skills and the consumed amounts of alcohol and drugs play a major role, where “game” falls behind those two. These factors led me to have a certain attitude towards women, and now I find it hard to form connections in a non-club atmosphere.

I also never really “dated”, most girls I met in a party, through a friend or just girls that hit on me. My Ex was actually the only girl I perused, which brings me to the other factor of my inability to meet women; I am an apathetic and passive person. When I speak to women, I often find it difficult to care about what they are saying and to engage in a conversation with them. Now this bothers me, because I am a great conversationalist and I would like to think of myself as an educated, worldly and interesting person. I am a decent looking guy, and on an average night out I do catch some women’s eyes and do get to talk to some, but it doesn’t really lead anywhere because unless I am truly interested in the conversation (which is rare), I regress and find it hard to carry a conversation, which leads to the end of our time together. I of course understand that, since I probably would not want to spend time and talk to a person that looks bored and uninterested.

I also find it hard to “spit game” at the ladies, and while being an outgoing and extroverted person, I find it hard to keep a good conversation flowing with a girl I might be interested in if she is not really capturing my attention. This fact is also what keeps me from approaching women, because I fear that again I will not be able to say anything interesting and keep the talk going. I am very bad with the subtle signals that females send, and I know looking back, that I missed many chances to hook up because I was being uncaring and passive. This is a horrible trait in my personality, and I found that it also translates into other aspects of my life. I am no longer willing to be that way and I truly want to change.

Hopefully, this is where this community and other resources would come in and help me get over this and fulfill my potential.

Sorry about the long post, I just felt that if I would get some real advice, the more detail I would give would be better.

Thanks in advance for all your help

 

[hansol]

...I am an apathetic and passive person. ... and while being an outgoing and extroverted person, I find it hard to keep a good conversation flowing with a girl...

Bit of a contradiction there I think. You probably need to figure out which you are, and go from there.

That being said, from the sounds of thinks, you seem to have your **** together compared to a lot of people. You can string together a coherent sentence, so that will stand you in good stead on this site. Read the Don Juan bible, especially read Pook's stuff (it was mind blowingly good for getting a postitive attitude), and then try to get a few mechanical lines you can use as openers. Get used to just opening people. And once you can open well, start learning a few open-ended conversation pieces to keep the conversation flowing.

I'm no guru, and other guys here will be able to fill you in better, but from the sounds of things you just need a bit of a mind-shift, to get you into the right "place". Cover a bunch of reading material both from guys on this site as well as the more "mainstream" stuff, and I figure you'll be good to go. Sort yourself out and the ladies will come. It's just a bit of a process to begin with.

 

[pinhas]

Hansol, thanks for you reply,

You are right, what I wrote does seem contradictory, so let me explain myself better. As I stated, I do believe I am an outgoing person; I have a good sense of humor and social aptitude. However, when it comes to starting and having conversations with the intent of it leading to a non-friendly zone I am sometimes at a loss. When I get hit on, I am almost always capable of carrying a good conversation, but when I am the one trying to start something, I have much less success. I definitely think it is due to a lack of confidence but also I feel it goes deeper. I often don’t even peruse the girls that hit on me and if I get a number, I would rarely follow up. I think it is because I am used to having one night “affairs”, where what ever happens during my night out, that’s where I will leave it, even if I am interested in seeing it further.

I don’t know if it is because some sort of inferiority complex or just lack of confidence, but whatever the cause may be I feel it is eating away at my life and I want to change that.

I am currently reading “How to make friends and influence people”, and also frequent this forum. I stumbled upon a post that talked about “Blueprint Decoded” and some other DSR materials, and figure I will give them a try.

I sometimes feel that no matter no much I read or learn about this, no change will come until I say f*** it and just go for it; and this is exactly where I stop. Something within me does not allow me to just go with it and see what happens. This is really what I am after; how to overcome my innate instincts to shy away from these situations. I know I already missed out of chances to “meet and mate” with some interesting people, and I no longer want that feeling.

 

[ALPHAROMEO]

PRESCRIPT YOUR OPENERS

HAVE 4 STACKED OPENERS always the same
use 2 negs always the same negs

adlib between your s with cf and ballbusting



at the cheese counter
my friend asks me to buy some JARLBERG ( norwegian cheese )
do u think it s better to eat it mature or whatever

can u melt it i mean can u toast it

we re having friends for dinner which cheeses wou u recommend


are those cheeses safe i heard some guys died because of the mad cow desease


you negs within 1 minute
" i can t quite understand u r u from the country,?
SECD NEG

" you re not wearing a baseball cap i thought all american women wore them



learn the above script by heart

at the end of the convo trade the digits
almways start your convo with a time thingie ' just 2 secs madam