Reading self-improvement books has the complete opposite consequences

[SayWhat]

Hi

I've read my fair share of self-improvement books on how to change myself. These ranged from how to talk, what to say, body language,...

But these have the complete opposite effect on me as I came to realize.

Instead of using the principles I've learned, I just analyze people. When I hear people talking, I pay attention to the word 'I', to how someone is saying something (for example a problem) and then other one starts talking but changes it so he/she starts talking about himself. This annoys the **** out of me as I notice this with almost everyone and makes me frustrated that everyone is so self-centered.

This is the same with body language, and this in particular is with girls, I get angry how they just want attention...

Is there any way to reverse this? I get more and more frustrated, I even get mad at little kids because of this...

 

[Fireballs]

Everyone loves to talk about themselves, especially when there is someone who is genuinely interested in what they have to say.

Use it to your advantage.

*Become genuinely interested in other people
*Make them feel important and do it sincerely
*Remember names and information about them

As Dale Carnegie says ''You can make more friends in 2 months by becoming interested in other people than you can in 2 years by trying to get other people interested in you.''

 

[AmIAFC]

The obvious answer is to stop reading self-help books, as they're clearly affecting you in a way unintended by the authors.

 

[TheMonkeyKing]

I just analyze people

This is something I do naturally anyway. But I know what you mean, once you begin to lose your sense of self importance, you also being to notice it a lot more in others. It's not easy to override, but a good place to get to is just to largely ignore these behaviours (like you would a self-entitled girl or spoilt child).

Blue pill conditioning encourages blue-pill addicts within to tend to their own ego first, by way of self-actualisation (hence all the self-centred outlook) - extrinsic reinforcement.

The red pill man is he who realises self-actualisation from within and does not need an audience to achieve this - intrinsic reinforcement, or 'self help'. He is content to the point where he does not need to tend his ego and that driving force of the self eventually diminishes. He realises that he as a being is not the essence of his or anyone else's existence; it is simply the act of being which is in fact essential.

Do not feed peoples' egos by acknowledging the narcissism. Encourage their own enlightenment by having more pertinent topics of conversation at your disposal.

NB. Children can't help it as they have far more restricted experience of the world than do adults. It's adults acting like children that make childish behaviours aggravating, not children themselves.

 

[sylvester the cat]

You haven't internalised it is all.

Like picking up a guitar and expecting to play like jimmy page in a week. It takes time and practise. Takes years.

 

[Skyline]

I personally enjoy it when people talk about themselves. It makes it a lot more easy to poke fun at them and just make the social interaction more enjoyable.

Like what Fireballs said, just use it against them.