Reading into mixed signals

[Rationale]

Greetings and salutations.

Just wanted to get some opinions on what I've been noticing on my time out.

One little event had me a bit confused because of the mixed signal I got.

I had been chatting to this girl for a while, being a bit touchy, teasing and talking crap, and she was continuously trying to get my attention whenever I chatted to someone else, so either attention sponge or keen as mustard.

Anyway, at the end of the night when everyone was about to leave, I did the 'one finger come over here' gesture and in a playful manner, put my phone in her face with the contact screen open and said "Number!".

At this point, conversation goes something like this,

Her: Why do you want it?
Me: Why do you think?
Her: *she mumbles something about just being friends*
Me: Alright, don't worry then. *i take my phone back*
Her: Oh no no, give it back. *she takes it back and enters number*

And that was that.

After that, we said our goodbyes and I walked off with one of the other girls I was with and that was the end of the night.

I guess my question is, how can you tell if she's giving you her number on a friendly basis, or a more 'romantic' (if you will) basis? Keep in mind we were being playful during the night.

Cheers.

 

[bigneil]

You got shot down in flames.

"Why" and "friends" are not what you want to hear when you ask for their number.

 

[TillTheEndOfTime]

Greetings and salutations.

Just wanted to get some opinions on what I've been noticing on my time out.

One little event had me a bit confused because of the mixed signal I got.

I had been chatting to this girl for a while, being a bit touchy, teasing and talking crap, and she was continuously trying to get my attention whenever I chatted to someone else, so either attention sponge or keen as mustard.

Anyway, at the end of the night when everyone was about to leave, I did the 'one finger come over here' gesture and in a playful manner, put my phone in her face with the contact screen open and said "Number!".

At this point, conversation goes something like this,

Her: Why do you want it?
Me: Why do you think?
Her: *she mumbles something about just being friends*
Me: Alright, don't worry then. *i take my phone back*
Her: Oh no no, give it back. *she takes it back and enters number*

And that was that.

After that, we said our goodbyes and I walked off with one of the other girls I was with and that was the end of the night.

I guess my question is, how can you tell if she's giving you her number on a friendly basis, or a more 'romantic' (if you will) basis? Keep in mind we were being playful during the night.

Cheers.

You can't. Stop reading into it. Stop analyzing. Phone her later. If she doesn't pick up, text her. If she doesn't respond. Delete and drop. Then move on.

Don't invent excuses in your head and try to give her more and more chances. Girls are MARRIED to their phones. If she's not picking up or responding to text, her interest level is ROCK BOTTOM. I'm talking so rock bottom you can feel the heat from the earth's core.

That is what experience has taught me.

 

[Rationale]

You can't. Stop reading into it. Stop analyzing. Phone her later. If she doesn't pick up, text her. If she doesn't respond. Delete and drop. Then move on.

Yeah that seems like the most logical way to act on it.

Cheers for the responses.

 

[rjd]

quoted by TillTheEndOfTime: "girls are married to their phones"

This is so true. I tried calling a girl a few times, it would ring all the way through till voicemail. Girl said she had no service but proceeded to text me. Bull6hit. When a phone has no service, the phone won't even ring. She just wanted to play me. Finally came to realize she didn't want to talk to me on the phone. She only wanted to keep me strung around her fingers by texting.

Man the sad times from my beta period.

 

[nismo-4]

AFAIC, mixed signals equals low interest.

Case closed. Leave my court.

 

[Trump]

When a girl asks why do you want my number, and your answer is "why do you think", you are saying you just to screw her brains out and nothing else, very weak. Put some thought into it, back it up, bring something to her world.

Imagine an employer asks "why should I hire you? and your answer is "why do you think?" how fast would you be laughed out of the interview

 

[SoldMySoul]

AFAIC, mixed signals equals low interest.

Case closed. Leave my court.

uh huh...always my findings. Once I have a number, I will give her 2, maybe 3 strikes and as others suggested...delete contact.

When a female is interested, she makes it known and it will be so obvious, you do not/ will not have to ask about her mixed signals. It will be very overt.

 

[Subology]

If you are double guessing yourself, you are contaminating any information you may be getting from conversational subtext or body language. Thus, the 'signal' becomes totally useless; you've distorted it and now you're chasing your own tail.

 

[bigneil]

Rewind to 1999 when I loved a cashier at the organic store.

Me: So should I call you sometime?
Her: Why??
Me: ...so I can borrow money... (improv)
Her: I don't have any money.
Me: (tail between legs)

(9 months later)

Her: We should get together sometime.
Me: Ok I'll call you. (surprised)
Her: Do you want to just make definite plans now?
Me: Ok.
Her: Here's my number. I'll see you at 8PM tonight.

Sometimes you can woo them over time. And ironically I later found out her parents were loaded.

 

[Rationale]

@nismo-4

Yeah I'd imagine as much.

Like SoldMySoul said, I would have assumed more.. forthcoming behaviour if she was keen. (And yeah, I have a similar strike system)

@bigneil

I've had something very similar (albeit different circumstances) to that happen previously, but can't say I'm counting on anything in the future.

 

[Uberguy]

Once I have a number, I will give her 2, maybe 3 strikes and as others suggested...delete contact.

Two strikes is a good rule. One strike may be a legitimate emergency. Two strikes are a pattern.

 

[Deep Dish]

One little event had me a bit confused because of the mixed signal I got... I guess my question is, how can you tell if she's giving you her number on a friendly basis, or a more 'romantic' (if you will) basis? Keep in mind we were being playful during the night.

Cheers.

Pardon me for thinking aloud, but the past tense of your semantics implies things are done, in other words you never (or haven’t) called her. I understand the desire to understand things before doing something, but calling her, charming her, teasing her, and escalating would be the best measure to know where you stand.

 

[Rationale]

Pardon me for thinking aloud, but the past tense of your semantics implies things are done, in other words you never (or haven’t) called her.

Very astute of you. And yes, you are correct. Haven't bothered to pursue this particular girl (arguably a waste of time me even getting her number).

Honestly, most of this approaching random women is new to me (yes, I got onto it kinda late), being that my social circle already tends to provide an abundance of opportunity.

With that said, I thought I might as well give this whole approaching thing a whirl to see what happens, so that's where my question comes from.

I appreciate the critical feedback.

 

[Skalioppe]

She thinks you're fun but has already placed you in her friendly, jokey friend zone category.

The clue was in shirking giving you her number. If a woman likes you, she'll be pro-offering her number and making sure you'll contact her.

Man up, find another girl(s) and rub it in her face, then and only then might the dynamic change a little - through territorial jealousy.