read this - NEXTed girl tries to break up with me!

[duke007]

I posted about her in another thread. Before the date her IL seemed to be very high. Then on the date I was very C+F and did a lot of playful teasing. But she came across as very insecure and wasn't flirty at all, right from the word go. (So it's impossible to tell whether there was IL to begin with or what it was that destroyed it).

I sensed she had baggage from her last relationship so I NEXTED her. I haven't called for 9 days, surely that means I'm not interested. But just now I receive this in my email (because my AFC friend gave her my address).

I'm much better at this kind of thing on paper, than in person even though it might be a little cowardly...you said that i seemed like an honest person so i will try to be honest now. I just wanted to let you know that while i had a great time bowling with you, and think that you are a nice guy, i don't feel as though i could be anything more than friends with you. I don't want to
feel as though i would be leading you on. I hope that you understand this.

see you around

Leading me on?! ROFL! The nerve!

While I'm happy to be done with her, I'm a little incensed that she tried to turn the tables on me.

How bad can one be at judging human behaviour? What a nutjob! DJ techniques will never work on someone like this.

 

[coin]

I hope you didn't respond to that email. At least now you know for sure that both of you are on the same page.

 

[Quick]

think that you are a nice guy, i don't feel as though i could be anything more than friends with you

That phrase should be stricken from every female's vocabulary. What pisses me off more than LJBF (let's just be friends) is the fact that they can't even be troubled to think of something new and descriptive to say.

I bet you really wanted to reply just to let her know that she was the dumpee not the dumper. The ego is a terrible thing. The best thing you can do now is not even respond to her.

 

[chlywly]

Originally posted by coin
I hope you didn't respond to that email. At least now you know for sure that both of you are on the same page.

I totaly agree, let her go on with her life, and go find yourself a nice outgoing girl to DJ

 

[tamales]

LOL! Classic for a control freak type or attention *****. Trust me. I am embarassed to say I once tried to pull a move like this but the truth is it was a lame attempt to try and save face. Don't respond to her at ALL.

I guarentee she will be calling you in a few days or weeks at the latest.

And she will be going nuts thinking about why you never responded. I mean she obviously has been obsessing about the whole thing for NINE DAYS and proly wrote and rewrote that email message to you a million times before hitting the send button. Trust me.

Bottom line who cares... she knows you moved on and writing this was again, a lame excuse to save face and have a reason for contacting you since you hadn't.

Too funny! Typical.

 

[JustDoItAlways]

I know pride is an important thing in this kind of situation, but why not try a little experiment with her.

First, I think tamales is dead on here in terms of what she is thinking / feeling and she is just trying the turn the tables on you (a typical female move.)

Second, why not see if there really is any IL there or not. I don't think it is so cut and dried that she isn't interested. The lack of flirtyness on the date is the way some girls act when they are with someone they like. They just get really nervous and clam up totally.

She wouldn't have pulled this move and re-contacted you if she was happy just to be rid of you.

Write back a "What happened? I thought we were really clicking. I really like you." email. See what happens, learn something.

 

[duke007]

Whoooooooops.

I've already responded. But I think I got my point across in the nicest possible way. I said something along the lines of "I was thinking the same thing, in case you were wondering why I didn't call"

But then I backed that up with some politeness to soften the blow.

You see, it is a difficult situation and I was obligated to reply. She has only two friends. One of these is a good study partner of my AFC friend. The other is his new girlfriend...

So it's possible I will see her again.

And this other friend is damn good-looking. Too bad his AFCness will screw it up. Please read this, it's hilarious.

He told me this: On the third date (no kiss close yet) they saw a movie with 5 people in the cinema. However, no hanky panky. Then the credits came up, three people left and they were alone. They sat in silence for 2 minutes then he nervously mentioned taking it to the next level. She said yes and said "hold my hand".

Then he said it was awkward for a while and they just sat holding hands. This is your cue you moron, she want's a kiss! But no. Then they were circling the carpark in his car looking for her car. He said it was 30 minutes! Very unlikely to lose your car in a carpark after midnight! I think she was trying this to prolong the date, make out a bit, maybe stay at his place overnight (which is close to venue).

I said when he goes out with her he should do the 'arm crook' or put his arm around her shoulder. He actually laughed and said "holding hands is better."

!! This is not highschool, these people are 20yo!

I so wish I didn't get the dud friend.

 

[GirlCrazy]

You see, it is a difficult situation and I was obligated to reply.

I call B.S.

You were in no way obligated to reply. All you did was create more drama.

 

[Batman407]

I totally agree.... you nexted her, so there was no reason for you to respond to her ego boost.

She thinks you're a nice guy, but can't see herself as anything more than friends. Who knows why she "feels" this way, but its likely because she wasn't as attracted to you as you thought she was.