Charm&Style
Master Don Juan
Most people would rank having a healthy intimate relationship as a major predictor of life happiness. Relationship issues are a key point of focus in our society. They dominate our music, entertainment, advertising etc. It is ironic that with all the heavy emphasis on relationships, that there is very little education on what consitutes a healthy relationship or how to have one. Unfortunately, since there is very litte education, a variety of relationship myths abound. Try answering the floowing questions with true or false.Myth 1. If your in the right relationship, you will feel a constant peace and happiness within yourself.
Myth 2. In order for a relationship to work, there needs to be lots of self-sacrifice by each partner.
Myth 3. opposites attract and have the must succesful relationships.
Myth 1...FALSE
Unfortunately, one of the biggest relationship myths that the media tends to portray is the concept of "living happily ever after." So offten movies and television portray relationships as being the cure-all for lifes displeasure and promote the notion that if you find the right relationship, you will always be happy. We are individually resposible for our own happiness.Relying on another person to bring us happiness will create resentment and frustration and will lead to inevitable disappointment. Research has found that the majority of our happiness is determined by our own personality factors and by engagind in thoughts and behavior that require effort, such as setting goals and accomplishiing them.
This is why self-esteem is usually comfortable with themselves, and is able to express his or her feelings. They are less likely to expect their partner to be a mind reader. Individuals with high self esteem are more likely to be selevetive about the types of people that they allow in their lives. Thus its not finding the right relationship that will bring persoanl happiness, but persoan happiness may allow us to choose the right type of relationship.
Myth 2...FALSE
In a healthy relationship each individual assumes responsibility for makin themselves happy, so larg amounts of self-sacrifice should not be required. It is important that compromise and cooperation take place, but if an individual is giving up their own personal goals for the sake of the relationship, resentment and stagnation is sure to take over. A healthy relationship is one that encourages the persoanl growth of the individual. Each of us is constanly growing and changing as a result of new experiences, our relationships must be a reflection of ourselves.
Myth 3...FALSE
A healthy intimate relationship usualy results from the combination of two individuals who have similar interest and values, but individual goals. The notion that opposties attract is not only wrong in regard to most vairables, but large differences between two individuals can be very detrimental for most relationships.Research has found that we tend to be attracted to people who are very similiar to us in regard to age and physical characteristics such as height, eight, and race. It may be even more important for the longevity of a relationship to be attracted to someone who is very similiar to you in regards to values and persoanlity traits.
It is much easier to live with someone who has many of the same likes, dislkes and habits as we do and there tends to be less conflict in general when you agree on the basics of life.
If you are contemplating wheather or not you are in a healthy relationship, you may want to ask yourself these questions...
1. Is my partner able to have healthy relationships with others?
If your partner is unable to have healthy friendships with others, the personality charecteristics that contribute to this may also sabotage your attempts at having an intimate relationship
2. Do I feel that my partner respects my own personal goals?
Research supports that individual happiness comes from setting persoanl goals and working toward their accomplisment. If an Intimate partner is unsupportive of this effort, may obstruct your ability to generate your own happiness.
3. Do I feel that I am able to communicate feelings refarding a wide range of subjects with my partner?
The feeling that you have to hide parts of yourself from your partner,will create a large barrier of intimacy.
Some of the threads on this site have gone way overboard with getting a girl. First learn how people bond, then go ahead and read some of the threads. That way you wont be fooled with some of the BS that is said on this site.
Tnx
:box: :box: :box: :rockon: :rockon: :rockon:
