Reaction vs Indifference

[jhonny9546]

My cousin (29F), who has been in a 6 year LTR with her boyfriend (32M), has actually experienced this situation, and I would be interested to know how you would respond.

They have been living together for 3 years in his house.
In January 2024, they had an argument, and she moved back in with her parents.
This lasted for 2 months until she moved back in with him.

Their argument was about issues like how to properly organize clothes in the closet, which was when the tension escalated.
Meanwhile, during these 2 months, he was also texting another girl who was "emotionally nurturing" him.


How would you have reacted if your LTR of 6 years did this to you? And why do you think she would do it? And why would you think She would come back with you?

 

[jhonny9546]

That's the only way women can respect a man, when she knows he has other options

You then chose to have sex or not, but you can just give her a hint of impression.
Btw, what if I tell you the same story happened but without the other woman in the game here?

 

[The Duke]

My cousin (29F), who has been in a 6 year LTR with her boyfriend (32M), has actually experienced this situation, and I would be interested to know how you would respond.

They have been living together for 3 years in his house.
In January 2024, they had an argument, and she moved back in with her parents.
This lasted for 2 months until she moved back in with him.

Their argument was about issues like how to properly organize clothes in the closet, which was when the tension escalated.
Meanwhile, during these 2 months, he was also texting another girl who was "emotionally nurturing" him.


How would you have reacted if your LTR of 6 years did this to you? And why do you think she would do it? And why would you think She would come back with you?

I've had 3 women live with me in my lifetime. My rule has always been, if you move out you aren't coming back.

The problem with a girl moving out and the guy entertaining other women is it erodes the foudation of the relationship.
The fact that he started talking to some other girl will cause her to question him if they get back together. Once she has ran away from her problems once, its even easier to do it a second time.

I hope the guy fvcked that other girl. I would have, also, I would've waited min 6 months to have her back in my house and would've used that opportunity to go out and do whatever I wanted to do, including fvcking other women. That's the only way women can respect a man, when she knows he has other options

Jealousy and infidelity are not the same for men and women.

Sure hooking up with another girl will get her(exgf) attention and draw her back in. I'll agree with that. But the damage it causes later on creates problems when they get back together. Its something that will stay with her a long time. It creates distrust, and apprehension on behalf of the woman. I have experienced this myself when broken up for a few months and have a few friends that cheated on their wives and got back together. Their stories are all the same, just as I have stated.

I certainly would not recommend doing so. Its also weak behavior.

 

[pipeman84]

Their argument was about issues like how to properly organize clothes in the closet, which was when the tension escalated.

Nah, that was just the tip of the iceberg.
I think the guy lacks a masculine frame. Otherwise, this wouldn't have happened OR he wouldn't have accepted her back.
Moreover, what the heck is this:

Meanwhile, during these 2 months, he was also texting another girl who was "emotionally nurturing" him.

What kind of man is looking to be 'emotionally nurtured' (whatever that means) over text?

 

[Gamisch]

Nah, that was just the tip of the iceberg.
I think the guy lacks a masculine frame. Otherwise, this wouldn't have happened OR he wouldn't have accepted her back.
Moreover, what the heck is this:

What kind of man is looking to be 'emotionally nurtured' (whatever that means) over text?

Tbh it's a reflex to find a new woman as soon as possible. Some people cant be alone for a second. The new woman either wasn't as high quality or proofed to be more difficult than he'd expected or a combination of the two.

It's indeed the tip of the iceberg and just a bs reason to escalate sh1t. He called her bluff and eventually she caved in. Big mistake to take her back. Next fight will be because he spilled a drop of water when he was drinking. Or the infamous toothpaste battle. Or when a small cubic hair is the shower.

 

[zekko]

What kind of man is looking to be 'emotionally nurtured' (whatever that means) over text?

I think it's entirely possible that the guy was hurting over the breakup or whatever it was, and the girl was offering him some support. Contrary to popular belief, some guys do have feelings. She probably knew him already, I doubt if she came out of nowhere. Of course it could have been a sexual or attraction thing too, but women are good at nurturing so I wouldn't rule that out.

As for her coming back, it's not uncommon for couples to get into an on again/off again relationship, especially if they're younger. Sometimes they have to break up a few times for it to "take".

 

[pipeman84]

As for her coming back, it's not uncommon for couples to get into an on again/off again relationship, especially if they're younger. Sometimes they have to break up a few times for it to "take".

Yeah, I understand this if they're teenagers and the break up means a couple of days. But when they're 32 and 29yrs old, 6 years in the relationship and the woman leaves for 2 months, then it's kaput.

 

[jhonny9546]

I have experienced this myself when broken up for a few months and have a few friends that cheated on their wives and got back together. Their stories are all the same, just as I have stated.

I certainly would not recommend doing so. Its also weak behavior.

Thanks for sharing this.
For sure I also know friends LTR's with cheating partner.

So, if you would not take her back, what would be your behaviour instead?
You set that limit: she leave? you end the LTR.
Just as that?

Nah, that was just the tip of the iceberg.
I think the guy lacks a masculine frame. Otherwise, this wouldn't have happened OR he wouldn't have accepted her back.
Moreover, what the heck is this:

What kind of man is looking to be 'emotionally nurtured' (whatever that means) over text?

This woman knew my cousin went away from him, and She tried to approach and get closer.
I suspect this woman liked this guy before, and maybe asked him for sex.

As for her coming back, it's not uncommon for couples to get into an on again/off again relationship, especially if they're younger. Sometimes they have to break up a few times for it to "take".

This is so common too. Lack of aboundance?
The curious thing is when this happen, but the couple it's in a 10 year LTR and they have child, sharing house, etc..

 

[zekko]

Yeah, I understand this if they're teenagers and the break up means a couple of days. But when they're 32 and 29yrs old, 6 years in the relationship and the woman leaves for 2 months, then it's kaput.

Yeah, that's pretty old for that kind of behavior. On the other hand, age is not necessarily a sign of maturity.

 

[The Duke]

So, if you would not take her back, what would be your behaviour instead?
You set that limit: she leave? you end the LTR.
Just as that?

Yes. Its about boundaries you set with people. You set the expectation beforehand of how you want to be treated.

 

[Bokanovsky]

Their argument was about issues like how to properly organize clothes in the closet, which was when the tension escalated.

If my girlfriend was living in my house and causing drama over closet organization, I'd be kicking her out pronto.

 

[sevbucmash]

why do you think she would do it?

She had someone else, who provided support and comfort. She did not felt that from her man, so she left. After the banging stage ended, in two months, she realized she made a mistake and came back.

 

[jhonny9546]

After the banging stage ended

Is it even possible that a woman goes away emotionally without having phisical contact with a men?