Reachers and Settlers

[MrNiceGuy23]

I remember watching TV awhile back, I think it was "How I Met Your Mother" and one of the discussions was the "reachers" and "settlers" in relationships. Where one person, the "reacher" is going for someone above them either looks wise, wealth, etc, and the other person, the "settler" is accepting this but still being with that person.

Do you think any of this is true? I mean obviously both people can't be identical in every trait so someone will be above the other in some way, but do you think it's really a "reach" and a "settle."

 

[Bible_Belt]

I know a couple like that. I went to law school with them. The girl was a close friend of my girlfriend of the time. They were only a couple during school in the sense that he followed her around like a dog. She was fairly hot, hb8 or so, and he wasn't hideous, but just a big dork. After two or three years of him not going away, she just gave in and they became official. They have been married for about three years now.

From a first glance, he looks like a lucky guy who scored a wife who is out of his league. But I know he's whipped as hell. And I wouldn't be surprised if she cheats on him with someone who actually turns her on. He would forgive her anyway, and she knows it.

If you're just a random guy on the street who sees that couple, it might make you feel like life is not fair. "Why does that dweeby guy have a hot chick and I don't?" is what you'd think. But knowing so much about them, I don't think he has anything to envy. I think about that couple whenever I see a guy with an "out of his league" girl.

 

[MrNiceGuy23]

Poor guy, that's how I see a relationship like that going. The settler never gets jealous because they know they're the best person their partner could likely ever get.

I understand wanting to be with someone who is really attractive and if I wasn't confident in myself I would never want to date a girl who was much more attractive than myself out of fear that they would find someone else who can satisfy them.